Giveaways that don't appear and things that make you go, "Hmmm..."

Back in August, I won a giveaway at Crunchy Green Mom. When a month passed the prize never arrived, I wrote to the Crunchy Green mom to ask what happened. She looked into it and about a week later, asked if I had received it. I hadn't.

My kids knew we won that prize and every day, when I went for the mail, they asked if it had arrived. When we went to the store and they saw Melissa and Doug products or any food-themed toy, they asked where their cutting food was. I had no idea. Was it lost in the mail? Was it never sent? Had they lost my address? What was going on?

Fast forward to November--three months later. I tried contacting the Crunchy Green Mom again and got no response. So I wrote directly to Princess Time Toys who sponsored the giveaway. I asked if it was sent and if so, when and what the tracking number was. I was very polite and brief in my message. I accused them of nothing and made no demands other than asking for the tracking number if the package had been shipped.

I got this reply this evening:

The prize was sent and my apologies if it was lost in the mail. We won't be
able to send a replacement.

Sincerely,

Connie Ott, Owner
My Jewel Boutique, Princess Time Toys & Avon Representative
People * Pets * Home

Hmm... Let's look at this, in part from the perspective of a mom and in part from the perspective of someone who was once the head of Public Relations.

#1 (from the mom). I specifically asked for a tracking number and when the package was sent. I can fill out a missing form at the post office if they'd just answer my questions. They didn't tell me any information about when the package was shipped. I find that odd.

#2. I find it odd that they insisted right away that they couldn't send a replacement. I never requested they do so. Yet the entire text of their message is essentially, "We sent it. We won't send another."

#3 (from the PR person). It's the holiday season. You sell toys. I'm a mother. Studies have shown that someone who has a bad experience will tell 10-12 people about that. Here we have a chance to save face and maybe increase your customer base. They have a chance not only to be a bit more polite, but also to possibly get positive publicity simply by making a little extra effort.

Honestly, if they had, it probably would have prompted me to buy some gifts from them. We have tons of other kids in the family who live far away. It's much easier to order gifts for them from a website rather than making it and shipping it or buying it in person and going through the effort of attacking the post office during the holiday season. The set I won cost a whopping $20. I would have spent much more than that.

I wrote back again requesting tracking information. If the situation changes, I will update you. I'm holding out hope that they will do the right thing (and right now, that's really just providing me with the answers requested), but we shall see.

Until then, I'm going to advise that anyone considering using that store proceed with caution. I find their response suspicious.

Forget the dutchie, pass the candle*

Oh, we must get in on this. Hmmm...

Hat tip to Jewschool.

*Title is a reference to this gem.

Oh the joys of Craigs list (hat tip to Gina)

The Feminist Breeder left a fabulous link in the comments on my previous post on marriage. I simply must share.

10 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal

Veterans' Day yet again

As it always does, Veterans' Day has come and gone. This year, for the first time, I didn't write about it here. Even now, I have nothing much to say, but I feel as though I have to acknowledge it.

Here's last year's post, which really just linked you back to the post from the year before.

Somehow, dh's long deployments always revolved around Veterans Day in some way (he either left or returned just before it).

Just for the hell of it, I'll include some veteran-related rants from posts past:

Depressed (Phony Soldiers)

Roy Zimmerman says it quite well (Thanks for the Support).

Support Our Troops

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's my family.

In my family, there's a big love of super heroes. My husband loves them. My brother loves them. My children love them.

So I shouldn't have been surprised when my children related to current events via the Superman films.

Much fuss was made over CNN's recent use of holograms during the election coverage. This lead the bigger kids to ask, "What are holograms?" Dh and I explained that it's when it appears that someone is in one place, but they're really in another.

To which Girl2 replied, "Oh, like the bad guys who really weren't in jail in Superman 2."

Yes, exactly like that.

One must be fair to the ears.

This evening, Girl2 made a confession.

You see, when she gets scared, she pulls her blanket up over her head and falls asleep that way. We always know when something's wrong if we check on her and find her burried under Bubbe's afghan.

Well, today, she told me that the whole reason she started pulling the blanket up over hear head was to be fair to her ears. She didn't think it was fair that the ear closest to the pillow was able to bask in the warmth while the other one had to shiver in the cold. And so, she started pulling her blanket up in an attempt at fairness.

I love kids and their reasoning.

Save Straight Marriage

This is from 2004, but I just came across it now and oh boy is it pertinent now.


Connie Rice Commentary: How to Save Straight Marriage

The Tavis Smiley Show, March 2, 2004 · Rice's other proposed laws or constitutional amendments, inspired by President Bush's proposed amendment outlawing gay marriage:

10. Fair Housework & Childcare Act -- Requires married men to do at least half the housework and child rearing duties, or face being charged with a class-C felony.

9. 'Til Death Do Us Part Amendment -- Outlaw divorce. Heterosexuals get divorced at the drop of a hat. It's the 50 percent divorce rate in the United States that’s the mortal threat to marriage, not gays and lesbians.

8. Scarlet Letter Amendment -- All divorced persons will have a scarlet "D" tattooed on their foreheads, which can be removed only upon permanent re-marriage to their original spouse.

7. Serial Marriage Crime Act -- Divorced persons who remarry and fail to stay married are subject to the category 63 mandatory minimum sentencing guideline: life in prison.

6. Gold Digger Prevention Act (AKA the "Bling-Bling Ban") -- All women selecting husbands solely by an accumulated assets index shall forfeit all claim to their mates' wealth and be forced to take a vow of poverty.

5. In-Law Limitation Act -- In-laws can only visit their heterosexually married children once a year.

4. Mistress and Intern Prohibition Act (AKA the Condit, Clinton, Gingrich, Hyde and Livingston Act) -- Do what the Seventh Commandment says. You want to promote the sanctity of marriage? Outlaw extramarital affairs. Also, no members of Congress who have had flings can vote on this act when it comes to a vote -- it'll be a short roll call.

3. Marital Security Act -- Put LoJack locator devices or electronic bracelets on all husbands who travel to play basketball, attend other business meetings or just leave the house on weekends.

2. Desecration of Marriage Act (AKA the Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Jimmy Swaggert Prevention Act) -- All heterosexual persons who make a mockery of marriage with absurd behavior shall be subject to mandatory minimum sentencing guidelines for category 37: 30 years imprisonment.

1. Leave No Child Unborn Act -- To encourage the real purpose of marriage -- which according to President Bush is to provide stability for raising children -- birth control will be outlawed for married couples, who henceforth will be required to produce progeny within the first five years of marriage... or explain to Karl Rove why there's no children.

Bonus:

Procreation Facilitation Act -- All married mens' prescriptions for Viagra will be tax deductible.

What did I just say about not overdoing it?

I just came across a site that has super cute crocheted baby booties. Should anyone feel compelled to get the new kid a gift, feel free to consider these. If you are some of my lucky friends who actually can knit/crochet and can figure out how to make these on your own, then rock on with your bad-ass selves. I wish I was you.

Best of Chums Taxi Cab Crocheted Booties (my favorites)

Best of Chums Basketball Crochet Booties

Unicorn Crochet Booties

Hippo Crochet Booties (Hippos? How cute is that?)

Monkey Crochet Booties

Pirate Crochet Booties (these are adorable)

Blast from the past: the gift edition

I found a giveaway on another blog where the question posed was, "What was your favorite gift as a child?"

The gift that came to mind was a Strawberry Shortcake kitchen set I got around 1982. It was really just heavy cardboard, but it lasted forever and oh boy did I use it.

I didn't ask for that kitchen. I didn't even know it existed. But oh boy did I love that thing.

So, I went on a quest. Google directed me here where there is a picture of a portion of the exact set. Look at the difference between that and the annoying plastic sets today that include all sorts of sounds and lights and which will never decompose in the landfills. I loved my basic boring kitchen. I didn't need beeping or blinking. And you know what? I'm sure my set has broken down by now.

With the holidays approaching and my desire to resist overdoing it, I've been on a quest for some ideas for making gifts. I did that last year and loved it. The kids did too. So we'll do the same thing this year. My schlep through my childhood and my fond memories for such a simple toy just cemented that.

Thursday Thirteen: Halloween Candy

Thirteen Things to do with Halloween Candy 1.... Eat all the chocolate when the kids aren't looking. 2....Save the maltballs 'cause you don't really like them, but when all the other chocolate is gone, eat them too. 3....Let the kids have a few lollipops (suckers to some of you) and Starbursts. 4....Search through the bags again in an attempt to find any hidden chocolate. If you find some, see #1. If not, move along. 5....Pick up the Almond Joy, consider it, then put it back down and decide it's not worth it. 6....Repeat #5 at least two more times. 7....Use the bag of candy as a threat when the kids don't clean up. 8....Let them have some runts and that Hannah Montana candy bracelet. 9....Stash a few lollipops in your purse/diaper bag for a rainy day (or a cranky child). 10...Repeat #4. 11...Open every single pack of Starburst in an attempt to find pink (or your particular favorite). 12...Wind up with only 2 pinks (which you eat) and a huge pile of red and yellow Starbursts (which you hate). Build a wall with them. Stack them up to form various farm animals. Then give up and put them back in the bag for the kids. 13...Donate everything else to care packages for our troops overseas and stay far away from the scale for a few days.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Peace? Yes we can!

Robin has a fabulous post on peace and what we must do to achieve it. Go read it.

Personally, I've never bought the idea of a Moshiach who will come and rescue us. I tend to believe the idea of Tikkun Olam. I do believe in Moshaich, but I believe he/she will come when we work together to repair the world. He/she will work WITH us, not in spite of us. And no, I'm not in any way insisting that Barack Obama is a messiah. @@

Rick Rolled--literally

Yes we did!

I voted. Some of my family members voted for the first time.

Obama is the projected winner.

I have no words other than YES WE DID and squeals of delight.

Now, please, oh please, let's take our world back in a positive direction.

Another literal video to make you laugh

I posted Aha previously, but this one by Tears for Fears cracks me up too.



I just found that there's a Red Hot Chili Peppers one as well.





You can thank me later. :-)

Has modern technology left you completely useless?

It all started back in high school when we were required to use graphing calculators for higher level math. I was one who struggled with my multiplication tables in the 3rd grade, but by the start of high school, I impressed even myself with the speed at which I could do math, almost without effort. Then we had to rely on those horrid technological crutches in order to do math that we never saw in the real world. In the process, we all lost our ability to do quick calculations in our heads. I noticed it among all my friends in all different level math classes. To this day, I have not regained that ability nor can I calculate a curve or do anything remotely resembling the calculus I was forced to endure in high school.

Now, our phones have memory options. My home phone lets me use the caller ID to contact a friend who called previously. On my cell phone, all my frequent numbers are assigned a single digit.

Last week, we were out without my phone, so dh took a picture on his phone that I wanted to send to my sister's cell. He asked, "What's her number?" To which, I could only reply, "6." I don't believe I have ever actually dialed her cell phone number other than when I initially entered it in my phone book on my cell.

I have no idea what some of my friends' e-mail addresses are. I type in their name or nickname (and in some cases, I don't even have to type the full name and it will auto fill) and the rest is automatically filled in.

Just now, I grabbed the home phone and sat down to call a friend. Only NOW can I dial her number (which is very simple). She's had it for at least a year. In the past, I just left her on the caller ID and scrolled through to find her.

I have a fabulous memory for random things. I can remember my first grade best friend's phone number (which I just googled and found has been assigned to someone completely different). I can remember birth dates for people I haven't seen in 10 or even 20 years. I can quote statistics off the top of my head. Yet, thanks to the modern marvel of technology, I can't even remember current phone numbers.

Please tell me I'm not alone here.

Fabulous pumpkin carving

Due to over-scheduling, we never got to go to the pumpkin patch this year. We did try to grab some at the grocery store, but they were a mess. So, for the first time in years, we went sans pumpkin this season.

I've been longing for carved pumpkins, so I decided to wander over to google to see what I missed.

This face is absolutely astounding.

AHHHHH. There's a Yoda pattern. I would have used that had I known (or had a pumpkin).

The 2008 entries here are amazing.

These are all neat, but the pumkin Pi and the Packman collection are my favorites.

The Cannibal pumpkin appeals to my dark sense of humor (and it's well-down to boot).

The hamburger bun is a clever idea you don't see every day.

NSFW: Obama "Toy"

Oh my goodness! This cracked me up and I had to share. You see that warning right there in the subject? This is an adult-themed link.

Head O State

Bumper sticker

I'm a posting fool this weekend.

Today, I saw a bumper sticker that I ADORE. It read,

G-d bless the whole world, no exceptions.

My husband needs to learn to sign.

There are oh so many reasons why that is the case, but today, I learned one more reason. If he learned to sign, then he wouldn't stare at me blankly when I finger spelled, "WTF."

Although, when I took a break to give him another chance to figure it out, he got the W and the T and he said, "Sometimes, that's all that needs to be said." ;-)

Walmart breeds stupidity.

Dear moron at Wal-Mart,

It is not ever appropriate to PUSH someone else's child. Saying, "Excuse me," and immediately using both hands to shove the child out of the way is never an acceptable behavior. Getting snippy when the mother responds with, "Please don't push my children," is also not appropriate. Insisting you did not touch the child when 4 people saw you do it (3 of them not within the child's family) is also not the best idea.

Who in the world thinks that is appropriate? Dh said that if he had seen it (he was around the corner), he would have restrained the woman. Yeah, now THAT'S a good idea. I really didn't want to make a scene, but she just pushed my child right in front of me. WTF? She didn't even give the kid a chance to move after she said, "Excuse me." She just shoved her.

WTF is wrong with people?

The only proper title for this is, "WTF?"

Maman et Bebe refers to this as It's Like My Super Sweet Sixteen On Crack which is also accurate.

What in the world are people thinking? The extravagance. The cost. The hoochie-mama clothes on tiny little girls. The attitudes.

WTF?

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Halloween is my favorite time of year. I can't wait to get out there tonight and see all the costumes. My kids are all eagerly awaiting it.

So, do tell. What is everyone dressing up as for Halloween? Has anyone seen any super cute costumes out there?

Is that the best use of your time?

This post says exactly what I've been ranting about lately: Is That the Best Use of Your Time?

I will warn those who don't wish to go there that it's a Planned Parenthood blog. There's nothing gory or anything like that (that's left up to the protesters). It's a blog kept in response to the 40 Days for Life thing. I have some friends who participate in that, so I just want to be sensitive.

That blog post questions whether standing outside Planned Parenthood is the best use of time when there's so many volunteer opportunities to help families.

Here's an excerpt that sums it up nicely, "It takes real commitment and diligence to sit on the sidewalk for 27 days, rain or shine. Think of all we could accomplish if their efforts went toward something we can all agree on -- healthy kids, families, women, and teens."

Videos to make you laugh and cry

First the bad news. People are idiots.



After you're done crying (or shaking your head in disbelief and disgust), here's one to make you laugh.

This was one of my favorite videos of all time. Now the lyrics have been redone. You must see:



Both links found at Fist of Blog.

Coffin update

I went past the same pawn shop on Friday. The coffin is still there. I tried to get a picture, but the light changed before I could.

Random baby stuff

This is completely random. Forgive me.

Recently, I noticed some odd coincidences. I specifically remember the date of the first time I felt TheBoy move during that pregnancy. On that date this year, I finally got pregnant.

That got me thinking about the first time I felt movement during my first pregnancy. I don't remember when it was, but I remember I was home alone (dh worked nights) watching CSI. With TheBoy, my water broke and I went into labor during CSI.

Hmmm...odd.

FTR, no consistent movement yet from the newbie. I may have felt movement during high holy day services, but I haven't felt anything since. I'm not one of those people who feels kicks early, so I'm not expecting anything until next month. I've been to the midwives and everything looks great. Heart rate was 134 this last time.

Halloween is scarier than I thought

I just stumbled across a collection of old costumes at RetroCRUSH. Oh my word! I had no idea what I was in for.

I had a bunch of these crappy plastic wonders.

• I vaguely remember Smurfette.
• I can never forget the freaky eye-less face of this Mini Mouse costume which sat in the box on the foot of the basement stairs for years and creeped me out every single freaking time I had to go down there. I don't believe I ever actually wore the costume, so I think maybe she was just used as a gargoyle to keep evil (or kids) away.
• I don't remember who in my family had this costume, but someone did. It's so freakishly familiar. If you never had the costume, your expected reaction is to run screaming. So even if you look at it and your initial reaction is not, "GO THE HELL AWAY," but rather, "Wait, I know you," then you MUST have had that costume at some point in time.
  
• Laura is another one that is so very familiar, but I don't know who wore it. I had an undying love of the t.v. show (never the books. Why my parents wasted time reading me crappy Disney books instead of Little House In The Big Woods when I so obviously ADORED the Ingles family is beyond me). I assume that if anyone had that costume, I did, but I don't remember ever wearing it.
• While I never had this one, I'm shocked by its very existence. Small Wonder? Really? I had no idea they had a Vicki/VICI costume. I adored that show, but that one is super scary. I'm not sure that I would have actually wanted that.

Why did we ever think these costumes were a good idea? They're horribly creepy. These aren't cute sweet cuddly kids' costumes. These are what Michael Myers must have worn.

My blog in pictures

While schleping through my archives, I came across a few pictures that I felt were particularly pertinent to my blog.

I started my little section of the blogosphere while dh was deployed to the Middle East. The date on my first batch of posts is May 9, 2006. Dh left early in the morning the day before. Since then, I've captured lots of bits and pieces of my life in here.

Among those pieces, are a scattered bunch of photographs.

Heartbreak isn't a particularly moving photo in general, but the circumstances surrounding it were. That's also my very first entry.

We have photos that randomly capture the beauty and oddity that is my everday life. A coffin at a pawn shop? WTF?

The absurdity is unending, especially when you have children. And it's always my first instinct to grab for the camera.

I have an odd sense of humor and a camera phone. Good combination or bad? You be the judge.

I also have good friends, a screwy family and photoshop.

In this blog, there is exactly one photo posted wherein you can see my face.

When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate. And when life gives you ice, grab a camera and take pictures.

I haven't done any Thursday Thirteens in a while, but this was one I wanted to write about (and photograph) for a long time. Glad I got the chance.

Here's another TT that's just completely frivilous, but contains my very favorite cats in all the world (not counting the ones that live in our home).

Speaking of our cats, I've posted photos of them which still crack me up.

Sometimes, the pictures are proof that I really do care about my audience and am constantly thinking of them. There's a local bank with a sign that I simply must photograph for you. I haven't yet (I'm always the one driving when I pass it), but the sign reads, "For personal service, see Chastity Den." Every time I drive by, I think, "I need to get a picture of that for the blog." It cracks me up.


And thus concludes our quick trip through the blog in pictures. Hope you enjoyed it. If not, I'll be back with more in the not-too-distant future. When you refuse to post pictures of yourself or your immediate family, it makes it kind of tricky, but thus far, I've managed. I'll make more of an effort in the future, though.

Life Lesson #327

When using a neti pot, don't ever do so in a rush. If, you disregard my previous warning, do not, under any circumstances, in your haste, use FAR too much salt.

OH MY STARS AND GARTERS! The pain. The pain is searing and unending.

I learned this horrid lesson by experience the other night. I thought, "I've been doing this long enough. I know what I'm doing. It won't be a problem if I rush."

I'm an idiot.

I used way too much salt. My eyes burned for an hour afterward. My teeth hurt. Dude, my TEETH hurt. WTF? My cheek bones ached. My throat burned. My nose ran like a faucet and wouldn't stop. I wound up having to take a bath and immerse my head under hot water to get any relief.

Please, don't let my stupidity be in vain. Don't make this mistake. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

The religion of simplifying

I've been making an attempt to simplify over the past year or so.

I had no idea that one could mix religion and downsizing.

What a neat idea! I'll definitely need to say the blessing with the kids when we get rid of the big bag of too small clothes.

But the boobs get in the way.

I'm a big fan of altering random songs to better suit my needs (or odd sense of humor).

So lately, I've taken liberties with this little gem:


Just change the refrain to, "but the boobs get in the way."

I don't know how many sizes I've gone up during this pregnancy, but I know that DD bra I just got is a bit snug (DD is my usual nursing size).

At this point, I can still sleep on my stomach with some maneuvering, but damn it, the breasts are loudly protesting that position. My uterus can deal, but my breasts scream in pain. They can just shut the hell up, though 'cause I thoroughly enjoy sleeping on my stomach.

After my daughters were born, when they were still in the NICU, I got horribly excited when I realized I could once again lie on my stomach. Too bad I forgot about the whole surgical birth thing. I was fine in that position, but experienced excruciating pain when I tried to get back up. Dh worked nights and slept during the day, so my attempts to call for him were in vain. I wound up falling off the couch. Horrible pain and complete humiliation, those are two side effects of a c-section that no one ever warned me about.

Anyway, back to the boobs. My sister (who is under 5 feet tall and 90-some-odd pounds) went up to an H or an I while nursing. We used to laugh when we got those "Increase Your Bust Size" spam e-mails. I once suggested that we open one and follow the advice because then we could have our very own shelves right there under our chins and honestly, that could be very useful for a new mom.

I've always been larger during pregnancy than nursing, but I've never been quite this large this soon. Only time will tell where the boobage will take us.

Until then, I'll keep humming my own version of that little ditty under my breath. Feel free to join the conga line and sing along.

But the boobs get in the waaaaaaayyyyy.

And the award for "Most Wonderful Husband on the Whole Freaking Planet" goes to...

my husband.

G-d bless that man!

When it was time to pick the kids up at Hebrew school, I was in the middle of an in depth phone conversation with a friend. Did my husband interrupt to tell me it was time to get the kids (I usually pick them up)? No. Did he roll his eyes, sigh and play the martyr? No. What did my wonderful husband do? He went to get them without a word so that I could finish my conversation.

The following day, when it was time to get them from dance class, I was once again on the phone deep in conversation with the same friend (I swear it's not a conspiracy). I had picked out a recipe I wanted to make for dinner, but didn't get to start. Dh found the magazine, figured out which recipe I was planning on, and started making dinner. When it was just about time to go get them, he mentioned it while he cooked. I got off the phone and asked him if he'd rather I went to get them or took over the cooking. He went with option A which was actually the easier of the two for me.

Remember, when it comes to Judaism, I'm the more traditional of the two of us. While we've been active at our current shul for a few years, dh hasn't gone to high holiday services there (the military had a way of always either deploying him during the high holidays or refusing to give him time off). This was his first year attending Rosh Hashanah services there and this shul expects men to wear tallit (women have the option as well). Dh has not worn tallit since his bar mitzvah. When I mentioned he'd need to wear them, he hopped online and found (and memorized) the blessing for doing so. Upon arriving at services, he couldn't quite figure it out. So when we dropped the kids off before services, he actually ASKED SOMEONE how to do it. Yes, a man was willing to ask for help. Aren't you shocked? And it was neat too. He asked an acquaintance of ours explaining, "It's been a very long time since I last did this." The guy said, "We're glad you decided to wear one today," and he went on to tell dh that he was, "Honored to be asked for help."

I, too, felt honored to be standing there next to him donned in tallit. We've been together over a decade and I've never seen him wearing tallit in person (I have seen the bar mitzvah photos). Aside from feeling privileged that he was willing to do it, I was in awe by the fact that he cared enough to do it for me even when I know it was awkward for him.

For these and so many more reasons, my husband definitely deserves an award of some sort. Oh and he also deserves my undying love and affection, but he already had that.

Reiza, this is your life.

I have a feeling that's how road trips are going to be for our family for the next dozen or so years.

Although, in my experience, there will never be only one who has to use the facilities. The second one, though, will not make that announcement until AFTER you return with the first. And none of them will say anything until you're all headed to your car ready to pull away from the bathroom spot.

Tossing chocolate frogs

I don't like the waste aspect of this and we don't really do chocolate, but this could easily be adapted.

Using chocolate frogs to drive good behavior

Brilliant!

Pregnancy update

I have lost more than 10 lbs on my midwives' nutritional guidelines. Before I got pregnant, I busted my butt to lose any weight with no luck. I went to the doctor, worked out 2 hours a day, watched what I ate all to no avail. I should have just checked with the wonder midwives back then and saved myself the time and trouble.

My uterus has popped. I've been showing, but now, I'm showing even more. Someone even said to me, "Hey, now you look pregnant." Yay!

Upon sending my mother the first belly shot (you know this is our 4th baby 'cause I didn't even take any belly shots until now), I was thrilled when her reply was, "I was surprised. You don't look bad." She didn't mean it that way, but my mom sometimes misses out on that whole tact thing. That was actually the best I could have hoped for from her. Last time around, when I was about 29 weeks pregnant and sent a photo, she replied, "So, you got fat."

I think I may have felt some movement in services yesterday (Shanah Tova to my fellow Jews), but I'm not sure. I didn't feel a kick (it's a little early for that), but more like the kid launched him/herself off one side and smacked into the other. TheBoy did that a lot during my last pregnancy, but not until much later. I'm still not certain if that really was movement, but I'll wait and see what I feel next.

I can now go quite a few hours between meals (yippee) and I'm not feeling nearly as sick. Although, that constant gagging has been replaced by actual vomiting. I've only thrown up 3 times this entire pregnancy, though and all of them between 10 and 13 weeks. I can deal with that. I'm still extremely tired, but it's getting better.

I ordered a birthing pool. It's a little earlier than I would have liked, but it's the best time for deals on pools. I found an inflatable kiddie pool that is often used as a birth pool on clearance at the Toys R Us website. It cost me less than $15. I used left over gift cards, so it didn't cost me any of our money. The same pool runs from $45-$100 on sites that specifically sell birthing pools. After the baby is here, it'll be a pool for the kids (once it's cleaned, of course).

Had some blood work run at my midwife appointment and it came back perfect.

I would love a little more patience. That would be lovely right about now. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be making an appearance. I'll keep working on it, though.

So far, so good.

Do you realize dairy IS breastmilk, just from a different species?

PETA is up to their usual antics. They sent a letter to Ben & Jerry asking them to replace the dairy in their ice cream with human breastmilk.

In a statement Ben and Jerry's said, "We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child."

I'm not all about ingesting breastmilk myself (at least as an adult. I'm very glad I was breastfed as a baby), but um...if human breastmilk is best used for the mother's baby, then wouldn't cow's milk be best used for her calf rather than us humans? Do they not realize that cow's milk IS breastmilk. It's breastmilk created by a cow for her calf.

I've heard quite a bit about this on the news and in every instance, the reporters have been freaked out by the idea of using human breastmilk. Um...do they think breastmilk from another creature is the better option? There's a huge list of benefits of breastmilk for humans, yes, even for adults. Human milk is designed to provide for optimal growth of the human brain. Cow's have tiny brains and great big bodies. Cow's milk is designed to make calves big and fat.

Now keep in mind, I eat dairy and aside from the initial curious taste when I was first breastfeeding my children, I don't ingest human milk, but the whole "Ick factor" from the public makes no sense.

The Other Side Of The Glass

Midwife: Sage Femme... first brought this to my attention.

It highlights some of the events surrounding birth that can be traumatic for babies. In the clip, I heard them say at least twice that whether you birth at the hospital or home, these are things about which you need to be aware. Really? Because I've never known a homebirth midwife to literally tear a baby from it's screaming mother's arms (you'll see that in the clip). They may very well exist, but I've never known a homebirth midwife to behave in that way. I suppose you should be aware of it no matter where you birth, but it really seems as though you only need to be concerned outside the home.

Regardless, the video is quite compelling. Stay with it. It doesn't get to the heart of the matter until a few minutes in.

Personal Torah: Kiddush

Ima on the Bima doesn't seem to have her call for personal torah up today and of course today is the day I want to share. So I'll just go ahead without her.

I've been thinking a lot lately about kiddish. At our daughters' naming ceremony, they each got a silver kiddish cup. My MIL brought over her father's cup, the one he brought when he escaped Germany. We poured the wine into that, said kiddush, then split the wine into the girls' cups and drank from there. Their great grandfather is long gone (he passed away before dh was born. Dh is named after him as is TheBoy), but we used the oportunity of kiddush to recognize their connection to him and sanctify that. They are bound to him through blood and tradition.

Kiddush literally means "Sanctification." One of the things I love about Judaism is that we sanctify the everyday and that we have the power to do so. We don't have to rely on rabbis or a specific location to do that for us. We can recognize the beauty in everyday and sanctify it ourselves. We're commanded to do just that.

My son turns 3 soon. I'm beginning to plan his party and upsherin. Traditionally, Jewish boys have their first haircut on their 3rd birthday (along with a whole host of other education-related things as it also marks the beginning of his formal education and I LOVE that it begins with the parents). I admit that we cheated. I tried not to cut his hair. Oh how I tried even when no one around me understood (we do not live in a very Jewish area and even among my fellow Yids, only the rabbi followed the practice). Finally, it got too hot and his hair was too long, so I agreed to have it cut. Although, I insisted we wait until he was 18 months old. 18 is a special number within Judaism. When we tried to conceive, we had no luck. The one month when I ovulated on day 18 was the cycle when I conceived TheBoy. Oddly enough, this time around, I also conceived on the 18th day of my cycle. In Hebrew, the word "Chai" means both "Eighteen" and "Life."

Still, we plan on having a fairly traditional haircutting ceremony for his 3rd birthday. Everyone gets to snip a piece of hair. It's not that horrible fear-inducing first haircut you always fear with little kids. It's a lot of fun. Then you typically introduce them to the aleph-bet in a variety of ways, but usually, you cover the aleph-bet in honey and let the child taste and see that learning is sweet. Torah is, "sweet on the tongue."

In other cultures, this would often be an uneventful occasion. In Judaism, though, we sanctify it. We find beauty, symbolism and richness in this seemingly minor event. I'm hoping that we can pay for plane tickets for my in-laws to fly out for the party. My FIL will have his surgery soon, so I don't know if he can make the trip, but I very much want them here. I want them to cut their grandson's hair and to share in this new stage. I want them to sanctify my son, my FIL and the day not only with their presence, but also with the same kiddush cup that was smuggled over from Germany. This man didn't know if he would live, yet his name, great grand children and religious tradition continue. THAT deserves to be sanctified.

Here's your sign.

Later today, I will affix a sign to our front door. It will read as follows:

The lady of the house

• is pregnant and cranky
• owns a chainsaw
• never buys anything from door-to-door salespeople
• is grateful that her husband does all the lawn care.

Do you think it'll keep the solicitors at bay?

I'm kind of annoyed that I'm going all traditional with that last line. The truth is, I started doing the lawn work while dh was deployed years ago and actually liked it, but I haven't done it in a while and I don't see myself doing it until the wee one makes an appearance. So I'll buy into the traditional stereotype if it keeps the morons away.

Drama llama drive-by

Gah! Oh, the drama! It is unending.

A friend wrote something that bothered me. Now I have no idea what to say or do in response.

I hate when someone is annoyed with me and doesn't give me a chance to explain, so I feel like I should write back and extend that same chance, but I don't want to come across as whiny. A big part of me just wants to let it go. I'm annoyed. So be it. I don't want to start anything. At the same time, I feel like she started something and now I'm hurt.

Why do I feel like I'm back in high school? I hate this petty crap.

Completely Random Video

I don't really have much of a reason for posting this. It was featured over at Fist of Blog and watching it again reminded me of how much I love this song.

Like the fine folks over at Fist of Blog, I often long for the 90s music scene. Oh how I miss the summer nights when I stayed up all night and watched the good videos on Mtv. I miss Alternative Nation. Alas, poor Kennedy, I knew her, Horatio.

My kids rock yet again.

I have a confession to make. I sleep with a toy. No, not THAT kind of toy. I sleep with a stuffed animal. Well, I did until a few days ago, when he went missing.

This morning, TheBoy came into my room, looked around the bed and asked where the toy went. I told him I had lost it. He said, "I find it faw you." He then looked around, but had no luck. So he left. He came back and tossed Hello Mr. Zebra (the zebra-headed blankie toy with which he has slept since he was tiny) at me. When I asked why he did that, my son replied, "You lost your toy. You take zebra."

My heart melted. By that point, his oldest sister was in my room. The case of the missing stuffy peaked her interest. After activating her super sleuth abilities, she found him shoved down by the headboard. TheBoy then responded with a loud, "Yay," while he threw his hands in the air. He then quickly snatched back his toy and told me, "You found your toy. I take zebra back."

More on political wedges.

Someone brought this to my attention and I have to share.

Making America Stupid
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN

In there, he has this to say (among many other things),

I dwell on this issue because it is symbolic of the campaign that John McCain has decided to run. It’s a campaign now built on turning everything possible into a cultural wedge issue — including even energy policy, no matter how stupid it makes the voters and no matter how much it might weaken America.

This highlights what I touched on a few days ago.

I think this also illustrates a good point;

I respected McCain’s willingness to support the troop surge in Iraq, even if it was going to cost him the Republican nomination. Now the same guy, who would not sell his soul to win his party’s nomination, is ready to sell every piece of his soul to win the presidency.

Yes, John McCain WAS a maverick 8 years ago when he was unwilling to bow down to the religious right. I considered voting for him then. When I heard he was throwing his hat in again this time, I was hopeful for the same John McCain I've seen in the past--the one who was willing to butt heads even within his own party. I wanted the John McCain who treated John Kerry with civility and refused to belittle his friend even when others in his party spent great amounts of time and money doing just that. Mr. Friedman, however, has it absolutely correct. Today, John McCain is selling his soul. His maverick days are long gone.

In order to disguise the fact that the core of his campaign is to continue the same Bush policies that have led 80 percent of the country to conclude we’re on the wrong track, McCain has decided to play the culture-war card. Obama may be a bit professorial, but at least he is trying to unite the country to face the real issues rather than divide us over cultural differences.

YES. That's it exactly. When I watched Obama speak at the DNC, I felt energized. I felt ready for a new tomorrow where we work together to pull our country back to its former glory. When I listened to the speeches at the RNC, I was shocked at the bitterness and attempts at division. True, there were things said by the Democrats that weren't sunshine and roses, but those were NOT said by the nominees. Sarah Palin gave one of the most bitter speeches I've heard in a long time and she's the Vice Presidential nominee.

That article is wonderful. It goes on to point out how creating this cultural wedge just serves to take our eyes off the real issues and real problems. I don't want to fight with my Republican friends. I don't want that bitterness in politics. I want to work for change--REAL change.

SNL doesn't suck for the first time in a long time.

The great political divide

You'll have to forgive me while I sigh. I'm so fed up with the huge rifts created by politics. Yes, I know I have been pretty vocal in my feelings, but in general, I try to be respectful. I take a bit more liberties here than I do in mixed company, but in general, I try to stick to the issues and not get sucked into name-calling.

I recently got back in touch with a friend from high school. She was abrasive back in the day, but we had a lot of fun together and we have some great memories. Well, recently, she has taken to sending out horrible messages (sometimes racist) about Barack Obama. She just won't stop and I'm getting increasingly annoyed.

That incited a great desire to let her slip out of my life again. I'm not the type who will run away from a group because of a disagreement or who will drop friends because of a different political stance. Hell, some of my best friends have very different political views and we've always been respectful.

Then I was reminded that only two years ago, this friend's mother died from Cancer. The anniversary of her passing is fast approaching. I've written to her to let her know she's in my thoughts and prayers. That served as a reminder about the connections we share and the divisions we create.

Why in the world do we need to use politics as a wedge between us? Why can't we simply discuss the issues like rational human beings or take the issue off the table? I am very sensitive to certain political topics because they relate directly to me whereas most people just use them as talking points without fully understanding the situation. So I recognize when those topics are or are not appropriate* or I simply watch my language.

Why must we focus on the differences? Why do we try to separate from others based on politics? What in the world are we doing?

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” Audre Lorde


*Yes, I realize I'm a hypocrite because I call Bush a name in that link.

My kids ask the same question.

more animals

This pretty much sums up my mornings.

more animals

This sums up the rest of my day:


more animals

This one is in no way related to sleep. It just makes me laugh.


more animals

Sarah Palin and the Jews

I've been more than a tad bit baffled by those who insist the McCain/Palin ticket is a good choice for Jews.

Here's more:
Sarah Palin: Good For the Jews?

What was that about feeding choice?

This post will not at all be a light/happy/funny one. Some people may be offended. Please, if you are one of the many who had your nursing relationship sabotaged by a healthcare professional or someone of the sort, do NOT feel offended. This is not geared at you.

I hear a lot about feeding choice. Women get up in arms when we try to ban the bags at hospitals because they insist we are somehow anti-feminist and are infringing on a mom's right to choose how she feeds her child.

Well, more than 30 years after my MIL made her choice, we're now dealing with the potential problems with my husband. He never got a choice in the matter.

You fine folks know that my FIL has cancer. His father also died from cancer, albeit a different form.

I have a long family history of cancer, but I've always taken solace in the fact that I was breastfed and I have breastfed all my children. Formula fed children are more likely to develop cancer as are mothers who formula feed. My husband never received a drop of breastmilk and obviously, he can't breastfeed. Only now is the consequence of that hitting me and it's hitting me hard.

I've been struggling with this realization recently. My husband is now at a greater risk of developing cancer and DYING because of a choice in which he had no say.

On top of that, there's more research which links BPA to prostate cancer. Many pictures exist of my husband as an infant holding his plastic bottle. His risk is already more than doubled because his father has it. Now his mother's feeding choice may have increased that risk.

I've been a breastfeeding supporter for years for oh so many reasons, but never before have they hit so close to home. This isn't some faceless person writing a newspaper article proclaiming her right to feed however she sees fit. This isn't a random commenter on a message board complaining about how there was no way she'd do something so disgusting. This isn't even a grumpy old man ranting about how no woman should ever breastfeed in public. This is my husband--the man I love, my children's father. This is a decorated veteran who has survived combat zones. This wonderful man is now more likely to die because of a feeding choice made more than 30 years ago.

Please don't bitch about a mother's right to choose a feeding method. Babies are born to be breastfed. Our healthcare system should do everything in its power to support that. It shouldn't continually undercut a mother's attempts to breastfeed. Your local hospital or pediatrician's office should NOT be a marketing haven for Nestle. Your baby's health is FAR more important than kickbacks and pizza parties. Offices should recognize, not necessarily a woman's right to breastfeed, but a baby's need to eat. Working moms need to either pump or have their baby make occasional visits so that they can eat. Why oh why do some businesses miss the fact that formula fed infants are twice as likely to get sick within the first year which then means mom is more likely to miss work which costs the company money? It is far more cost-effective for corporations to support breastfeeding. Stores need to shut the hell up about their damn puritanical insistance that breastfeeding is somehow indecent. If I were to vist my local mall, sit quietly outside Victoria Secret and nurse modestly under one of their indecent posters, what do you think someone would complain about? Would it be the half-naked (or in some cases damn near completely naked) women on display or would it be the baby eating?

If you were to frame the discussion by explaining, "You can do X and increase your child's risks of illness and death for the rest of his life," do you think ANY mother would willingly take that option? What kind of a choice is that?

We need to take this out of the philosophical realm. This is not a debate about Feminism (FTR, I'm a vocal Feminist). This is not about a woman's rights. This is about the child's rights.

This is about my husband's right to be afforded every protection possible. That was not the case. In fact, he was put even more at risk. My husband now has a higher risk of dying because of the feeding choices made decades ago, but hey, there are those out there who will fight tooth and nail for his mother's right to do this to him.

LOL Palin

see Sarah Palin pictures

Maybe you should have thought twice about this.

There are those who say Sarah Palin's daughter's pregnancy should not be fodder for the blogs. I agree in the respect that I don't think we should be wagging fingers at her, but I disagree because this IS related to the discussion.

In her wonderful piece that I have posted previously, Jane Smiley asks,

"If she's into "family values," I want to know what they are, and how the nanny views Palin's "family values." If she produced a child at 44, I want to know if she believes in birth control, because birth control is a political issue. I also want to know her views on the government's obligations to the disabled. Do the disabled children of rich people get special treatments that their parents can afford, while the disabled children of poor people get nothing?"

What ARE her family values? What is her stance on birth control? The final questions about children with disabilities can also be extended to include pregnancy. Since she doesn't believe in abortion, does she believe in providing care for disadvantaged teens who become pregnant or are only wealthy teens afforded prenatal care? Does she advocate cutting medicaid so that when these poor teens (who are far more likely to have premies) go into labor pre-term, they cannot afford the insane bills associated with a sickly baby?

Not only does this answer and then raise new questions about Sarah Palin, but it also puts a spotlight on some things Sen. McCain has done and how very out of touch he is.

McCain fought money on teen pregnancy programs

That doesn't even take into account the Republicans' newest push to define contraception as abortion.

What in the world were they thinking picking her? I've heard some argue that just seeing Palin and McCain standing together highlights the riskiness of this ticket. When you see the younger woman standing beside him, McCain's age is painfully obvious. When you see the elderly man standing alongside Palin, her youth and inexperience are impossible to ignore. Now too, when you see this family, you can't stop but be reminded of the failings of the Republican party and specifically the policies McCain supported and voted down.

Stunning photograph

I am in awe of this shot of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rosi.

Isn't that the most stunning image you've seen in a while?

For the longest time, I've wanted to create or at least buy a bumper sticker that says "Marriage = Love" to combat those annoying "Marriage = man + woman" stickers. After seeing that photograph, I think it would be perfect to have something that read, "Marriage =" preceding that picture.

On Sarah Palin

I didn't know what to write. I had no idea where to begin. Luckily, Jane Smiley did that for me.

Make Her Whine

If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.

CPSC Says Company Refuses To Recall Bassinets That Strangled Two Infants

WTF is wrong with this world?

I hope they lose more business over their heartless incompetence than they ever would have over a recall.

And now a few words from my son.

While at the zoo last week, we came across a big cat that I couldn't positively identify. I said to a friend, "I guess it's a leopard." I then pointed out the leopard to the kids. I picked TheBoy up for a better view and asked, "Do you see the leopard?" To which he replied, "Dat not Leopard. Dat Jaguar."

We walked around and found the sign and sure enough, the kid was right. He's 2 and he corrected me and was RIGHT.

Back story: my son is weaned. He hasn't nursed in over a month. While discussing that the new baby will have mama's milk when he/she/they get here, we had this conversation:

Boy: TheBoy want mama milk.
Me: The milk I had for you is gone.
Boy: Whyyyyyyyy?
Me: Because you weaned.
Boy: Whyyyyyyyy?
Me: Because you stopped nursing.
Boy: Whyyyyyyy?
Me: Because you're a big kid now, so you stopped nursing and the milk I had for you went away.
Boy: (peering down my shirt) Nipple came back.
Me: No, my breasts and nipples didn't go anywhere, just the milk.
Boy: Whyyyyyyyy?

You get the picture. It went on like that for a while.

Later in the evening, he tried to process it all. He pointed to everyone and asked if they had weaning (this included his sisters, the dog, the cat and me). When he got to himself, though, he said, "Not TheBoy. TheBoy not weaned."

Cold Chinese Food revisited

I got my cold Chinese food today. Yay.
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Yuck.

Churn churn bubble bubble goes the pregnant lady's stomach.

Cold Chinese food

I would kill for cold Chinese food right about now. I'm an odd duck. One of my favorite things about Chinese take-out is eating the left-overs cold. I like it better cold than when it's fresh.

Unfortunately, there is no Chinese food in our house which therefore makes cold Chinese food impossible.

GAH!

Awe-inspiring people

Have you ever been truly in awe of someone? There's so much stupidity around us, so when I find someone that amazes me (in a good way, not in a "Oh my stars and garters, these people have actually reproduced" way), I hold it dear.

About a year ago, I got back in touch with an old friend. In high school, we were just acquaintances. We had AP Physics together and he was nice, but we never hung out. I ran into him at a rest stop on my way back to college (we both went to school out of state--the same state, different schools) on more than one occasion and we stopped to chat then moved on.

Well, now he's a doctor, a pediatrician. And what is he doing with his time and talents? He's touring truly underprivileged places in the world providing care at his own cost. He's not advertising this fact as a way to get attention. He only mentioned it when I wrote to ask.

When my cousin passed away last year, this friend wrote me a quick note that was very sweet. I was truly touched. He didn't have to do that. We hadn't really kept in touch. Heck, I didn't even tell him about my cousin. He found out indirectly and went out of his way to write.

Mind you, we were never romantically linked, so don't get the wrong idea. He's a newlywed (his wife is gorgeous. They make such a cute couple) and I've been happily married for a long time. So it's nothing of that sort.

I'm just amazed at the person he has become. He's the type of person that you sometime doubt exists. To know that there are truly kind-hearted people out there really helps renew my faith in humanity. If you need a definition of mensch, he fits it perfectly.

Morning sickness is evil.

I'm still here. I am, however, very sick. Morning sickness hates me and refuses to leave. I'm so freaking exhausted all the time. I keep meaning to post, but it just hasn't been a priority. Sorry, all.

I'm inching closer to my second trimester and I'm hoping that once I get there, I'll feel a lot better.

Until then, I'll leave you with this bizarre, but cute encounter.

The other day, TheBoy was playing with a toy remote control while I watched the news. They featured a deployed Marine who, via web cam, got his first view of his 2-day-old daughter. The newborn little girl got TheBoy's attention. When the clip was over, he said, "Want see baby again." When I told him that wasn't going to happen, he came over to me, said, "See your baby. Hi, baby," kissing my stomach. He then held his remote up to my stomach and said, "Remote for your baby." He was very insistent that the baby was to have that remote. At one point he told me, "You hold wit two hands. Hold remote for baby. Hold for when baby here." I thought it was sweet.

Oh and when asked what we should name the baby, TheBoy offered, "Somebody Else."

Oh, btw

I'm pregnant.

Finding ballance

This parenting thing doesn't get any easier. Just when you adapt to one stage, a whole new set of subtleties and considerations go into effect.

How do you balance it all? Last year, we took a break and didn't have any sport-related classes. In the past, they danced for two years and took a break from that to explore karate. We tried Softball a while ago, but I was really put off by the whole thing. I was there for my kids to learn the game and have fun. Everyone else was there to prep their kids for the Olympics. We learned very quickly that it wasn't for us and we ran far far away.

Starting very soon, the big kids will have Hebrew school on Mondays. They'll have Sunday school too. We don't do sports on Shabbat.

I'm not the type who wants my kids to play 5 different sports. I'd like them to do one or two things to stay active and to learn what they're capable of. At the same time, religion is very important to us. I didn't have the opportunity to learn Hebrew. Dh just learned enough to read from the Torah for his bar mitzvah portion and he immediately forgot it all. Our children will have better.

I danced every week day and had gymnastics on the weekend. Dh's parents are VERY involved in local sports (my MIL is in her town's sports hall of fame). So that drives us, but so too does the love of Judaism.

We had to pass up the dance school where I really wanted to send the girls because the class for their age group is the same day/time as Hebrew school. They want to take gymnastics too, but we can't do it. I'm not comfortable with them shoving so much into the evenings. If I can find a homeschool class that meets during the day, we can do that, but once you're out of that pre-k age, it's difficult to find much during daytime hours.

Gah! How do you find the right balance? How do you resist becoming a stereotype one way or another? I will not be the parent who confronts the Hebrew school teacher demanding to know, "How is he supposed to improve at baseball when you want him here during practices?" How do we teach our children to value their beliefs and heritage if we so obviously value the physical over all else? Although, I also refuse to raise a mensch with absolutely no appreciation for his physical ability. Can you truly appreciate G-d if you can't recognize the power in yourself?

An update

My FIL has to decide between surgery or radiation. With one, he risks impotence. With the other, incontinence.

He seems to be in good spirits. He joked the whole time he was on the phone with dh. Yes, he spoke to dh even though he wanted to keep it quiet. I think now that he has some more information, he feels more comfortable telling the family.

I'm feeling a lot better about the situation, but I'm still shell-shocked. I've seen a lot of cancer in my family and I've never had anyone survive it. I know it's possible, but it's not anything I have any experience with. Even with dh, his paternal grandfather died of cancer. So survival is foreign to us. I'm looking forward to my FIL being the first.

Although, now this raises more questions and compels us to stand back and take a closer look at our lives and our lifestyle. From the research I've done, 5-10% of prostate cancer cases are hereditary. That comforted me until I found that having a close relative with it doubles my husband's risk. Should his brother or uncle (who has been estranged from the family for decades, so we wouldn't even have a way of knowing) develop it (G-d forbid), dh's risk increases to 5 times.

We're pretty healthy, but we can do more. Dh doesn't exercise at all and I have a penchant for eating out. We're going to have to evaluate things and come up with a concrete plan to be certain we live life in the healthiest way possible.

The Waiting Place

Ever read Dr. Seuss' Oh The Places You'll Go? The title is a reference to that.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

My father-in-law meets with the doctor today. I've been waiting rather impatiently all day, but we haven't heard anything. We don't want to call because we're not even supposed to know about it (my FIL doesn't want us worrying. My FIL has apparently never met me).

Please, G-d, let the news be good. Please let the treatment be quick, simple, relatively pain-free and successful.

And please let them call soon.

One of the many reasons we homeschool.

Principal Apologizes for “Excellent” Rating

Not again.

We've been asked to keep this quiet from family, so I'm only posting details here where that part of the family doesn't visit (at least as far as I know. Please, G-d don't let them know about this place).

My MIL called today to tell dh that his father has prostate cancer.

My initial reaction was absolute shock. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hug my husband. It didn't help that we were in the middle of Target at the time. Great place to raid the dollar spot or find a cute top, but not the best place for a breakdown.

Now, my thoughts are, "Not again. Please, G-d, not again."

Mi-sheberakh

Mi-sheberakh avoteinu v’imoteinu, Avraham v’Sarah, Yitzhak v’Rivkah, Ya’akov, Rachel v’Leah hu y’varekh et Ezra Ben Avraham v’yavi aleihem refuat hanefesh u’refuat haguf yachad im kol cholei amo Yisrael. Barukh atah Hashem, rofeh ha’cholim.

CNN loses its ever-loving mind.

Dear CNN,

I love you. When my husband was deployed, I damn-near moved in at Headline News. Now that he's home, I still regularly watch both CNN and Headline News. I find your reporting to be even-handed and fair. I may not always agree with what is reported, but it's presented in a balanced fashion. This is in stark contrast to your competition.

So I find it rather baffling that I need to compose a letter in which I tell you that a kangaroo kicking a zoo keeper is not news. It is normal animal behavior. Should you decide to show that video a handful of times during the day, so be it. I suppose it has its entertainment value. Although, under no circumstances should you air that footage EVERY FIVE MINUTES. You are a news network. That is not news. It's a kangaroo that kicks. This does not compare to war, famine, disease or even a freaking religious image burned into toast.

Any random idiot who happens to be holding a camera is NOT an "IReporter." They most certainly should not be refered to on the air as, "Our IReporter." They are not your hired staff. They are neither yours nor are they reporters.

While it is true that occasionally, an amateur will capture an astounding or truly important moment on camera, this is not one of those moments.

Please cut this shit out. I watch CNN and Headline News (both of which have been airing this video every 5 minutes) for the news, not to see some random kangaroo doing what kangaroos do.

13 going on 30

Forgive me for being absent lately. I'm stuck in a bit of a block.

So, instead of writing anything of substance, I will once again share kids' conversations with you.

My kids are young. My biggest kids are elementary school aged. So when they started asking me about colleges, I was more than a bit surprised.

Here, to the best of my recollection, is the conversation they had with me yesterday.

Girl2: Are there Jewish colleges?
Me: Yes
Girl2: Good. I want to go to a Jewish college. That way, I can find a Jewish boy there.
Me: Okay
Girl2: Are there Jewish colleges is Israel?
Me: Yep.
Girl2: Good. Then I'll go to a Jewish college in Israel and I'll find a Jewish boy who speaks Hebrew to marry.
Girl1: When we go to Israel for our bat mitzvah, we can look at colleges then to find one we like.

AHHHHHHHH. Wait. What? Where did these kids come from? They're far too young for this. Although, as a Jewish mother, I admit to being quite pleased with the conversation. I'm certainly not complaining. Complaining? No. Startled? Absolutely.

Quotation on parenting

I love this one and simply had to share.

"I would be the most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves." Anna Quindlen

Why can't they take perfection and run?

Girl2 is forever singing. She loves making up her own songs and singing some of her favorite staples over and over again. Among her list of career aspirations, you'll find "Mermaid," "Singer" and "Rabbi."

A local congregation just got a new cantor and suddenly it hit me, that would be the PERFECT job for that child.

I sit there for a moment, thinking I'm absolutely brilliant. I'm completely in awe of the genius that is my recent observation. Then I share my suggestion with her. Dh immediately agrees.

My daughter, the singer--the aspiring mermaid rabbi singer, responds with, "Nah. I don't think so."

WHAT? I have just handed you the perfect career and rather than, "Oh my goodness! Thank you, mother. I am once again floored by your brilliance. Yes, from this point on, I will go forth and work hard at becoming a fine cantor," her response was, "Nah."

Gah! These kids! What the heck am I supposed to do with them? Obviously, not mold them into cantors.

Fox News hits an all new low.

I didn't think it was possible. I didn't think Fox News could get any lower. Then I read this from Jews On First.

You can read more here and here. You really have to see the video because you don't fully appreciate their audacity/stupidity until you actually see the assholes in action.

They altered (poorly) images of a reporter and editor who wrote negative pieces on Fox News. The ears, hair and nose on the (assumed) Jewish reporter were enlarged in an anti-semitic fashion and his teeth were yellowed. His editor's forehead was enlarged so that his hairline appeared further back. Dark circles were also added under his eyes. This was not done in a joking fashion. These were aired as actual photographs.

I'm just stunned. This is an all new low. This is absolutely disgusting.

Video commentary on the matter

On lunchboxes and customer service

I have a good customer service story to share. I'm addicted to the Consumerist where you'll often find unbelievably awful horror stories about the customer service provided by some companies. So when there's a GOOD story to share, I'm all over it.

I ordered two of the Stephen Joseph Flower lunch boxes for my daughters from Amazon. They're adorable. The girls were thrilled.

Well, after using the lunch boxes for only three days, one got a tear in the lining. I contacted Stephen Joseph directly and they immediately offered to send another one right away. The rep was friendly and very helpful.

I'm impressed.

August 3, 2008 UPDATE: I forgot to post an update sooner, but the lunch box came a week after I posted this. The newer version has a sort of grid in the lining which appears to have made it stronger. I'm happy to report that the lunch boxes made it through the rest of camp tear-free. They're in great shape. I will definitely by from Stephen Joseph again.

Other people's kids say funny things too.

A friend called to relay a conversation she had with her son and I have to share.

He asked questions about why my kids don't eat certain things. She was trying to explain our religious dietary restrictions.

She explained that we don't eat pork because pigs are "Unclean."
So he asked, "Can't they just give them a bath?"

She called to tell me and I cracked up.

Deep Thoughts from Patton Oswald

Yeah, I'm surprised to see that combo of words too. Still, his speech to the graduating class of his old high school, while a bit long-winded (he spends too much time rambling before actually getting into the heart of the message), is very interesting (in a good kind of way).

And now, the actual speech

Need a feel good story?

I love these stories of big corporations actually doing the right thing. In this case, Costco went above and beyond.

Costco Saves Christmas...In July

The brief version of the story is that a woman sent gifts to her friend. They were packaged in a mattress cover box. Someone stole the box from her porch. The theif returned the box to Costco for $170. Someone else recently bought the mattress cover (or so they thought) and found the gifts inside. Costco went out of their way to track down the real owner of the gifts and offered to expedite shipping at their own cost.

How neat is that?

I know I sure as hell needed a happy uplifting, "See, not everyone and everything is evil," story. I figured you might as well. Enjoy.

Do you speak Jewish?

I first heard about this language survey over at Jspot.

I took it and I found it fascinating. Who knew that some of my speech quirks are Jewish-related? I realize the Yiddish/Hebrew is pretty obvious (although I have several non-Jewish friends, including a former nun who use Yiddish fairly regularly in their daily speech), but even the way I compose sentences is influenced by Judaism. I had no idea.

The survey was pretty quick (It suggests 15-20 minutes, but it took me about 10 minutes). They're asking for Jews and non-Jews to take it. Some questions were specifically Jewish, but there's always a "None," or "NA" response.

If you have a moment, please go take it. It's pretty interesting. I'm curious about the results.

Does anyone find this aluring?

Why in the world would anyone want a bacon-flavored cupcake?

Ewwwwwwww.

Winner's rock!

I won a Land's End swim package from Superdumb Supervillain. It came right away and I think I'm in love.

It included a 2 piece bathing suit (the green watermelon one) which I adore. It's quick drying and it really does dry quickly. I tried a bit of a test. Girl1 wore her regular suit when we went swimming. Girl2 wore the Land's End one. Land's End's really did dry much faster.

The fit is wonderful. My kids are oddly shaped. They're low to the ground, but long in the torso. We usually don't do 2 piece suits, but I found some that provide adequate coverage this year and we had to get a size smaller than they usually wear. In one-piece suits, though, the kids need to go up 2 sizes. I checked the size chart on Land's End's website and held my breath when I opted for their actual size. It fits perfectly! It's comfortable for the kids to wear and it falls just right.

The package also contained what the website refers to as a "rash guard top". I call it a "Swim shirt." Dh calls it a "Surf shirt." They sent the bright yellow one. Unfortunately, it doesn't go with anything we have, but I don't really care. Girl1 has worn it paired with an existing bathing suit bottom and it's great. It also looks very much like their 12-year-old's cousin's bathing suit. They LOVE looking like her.

We also got a towel (the tye dye one featured). First off, it's huge. My husband, upon opening the box, referred to it as, "A big fuzzy thing." It's too big for the kids to fit in their camp bags, but it's great for a day at the pool. The colors are great too. Personally, I wouldn't have bought that one based on its photo, but upon seeing it in person, it's now my favorite towel. The colors are wonderful.

So I'm a very happy person. This package really couldn't have come at a better time. The girls needed at least one more suit for camp. I've been searching the stores, but haven't found anything I like. Honestly, I never would have bought a Lands End suit for the kids (I've been lusting after their adult suits, but haven't had the guts to buy one while I'm heavier than I'd like), but I want to now. It really is worth the price difference. I'm going to keep my eye out for a sale and grab up a few for next year.

Yet another post on kid quotations, cupcakes and fairies

Oh, oh, oh, before I vanish once again, I want to share this bit of wisdom from Girl1. A few nights ago, she lost another tooth (for those keeping score, the girls are now tied at 5 each). So we've been discussing the Tooth Fairy quite a bit. This morning, Girl1 announced, "We're all about the tooth fairy and cupcakes."

She then continued to announce that she wants a stick and some ribbon to use to make a toy for the Tooth Fairy. I informed her, "The Tooth Fairy is not a cat." My child had damn well better be captain of the debate team in a few years because, in her usual fashion, she immediately came back with, "But she can play with the cats with us using the toy I'll make."

FTR, my mother, husband and sister have no sympathy for me when I get into one of these discussions with my eldest wherein she has an answer for every possible angle of my argument. That little talent is proof that she is my daughter (as if the fact that I carried her for 7+months isn't sufficient).

Hello, hello, hello is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone at all?

I'm still here. I know I've been scarce and for that I apologize. Lots of chaos occurring at and around Chez Reiza. I still exist, though and I promise I will post something of more substance in the not-too-distant future.

Until then, here's a comment from the husband that struck me as funny.

"I don't believe this dog has to go to the bathroom. I think he just has a good memory and really wants pie."

Wise words from a very dear friend

I'm having a conversation (well, the internet equivalent thereof) with a friend of mine. She just told me something I consider blog-worthy. This bit of information simply must be shared with the masses. Here's the ever-so-slightly edited version,

"If I've learned anything about relationships, it's this--Choose your battles...and sarcasm goes a long way."

Oh how true!

More wisdom from the eldest

At the library today, Girl1 fell and then cracked up laughing. When her sister inquired as to her current state, Girl1 replied with,
"If I'm laughing, then I must be okay."

That elicited laughter from me and I told her that was a pretty good motto for life in general.