Tell me what cha want, what you really really want?

I'm at a loss lately for writing inspiration.

Lend me a hand. What do you want to know? Is there anything you want to know about my funny little life?

Halp.

Kids say...

Happy Mothers' Day to all the moms, mums, mamans, imas, and mommies out there.

I'm so glad I'm a mother. If I wasn't, I would have had no reason to bust out laughing at Target today.

Dh took TheBoy to the bathroom. We noticed his pants were on backwards after his nap, but we didn't think much of it. Well, dh came out of the bathroom and told me that wasn't nearly the worst of it. Apparently, TheBoy must have dressed himself after his nap because in addition to the Kris Kross inspired style, he used his underwear as a torture device. Both legs were shoved in one hole and his penis was stuck up in the band. Ow.

While in the bathroom, someone in the stall next to them was making disgusting noises while using the facilities. Dh reported that after each bout of noises, TheBoy responded with a loud and shocked, "Woah."

Dh reports that the noises warranted it too.

That was one of those moments when I was so very glad I was a mom. Writers strike? What strike? I never really noticed it because my kids are on all the time. :-)

Don't tase me, bro.

Oh my word. The stupidity is hilarious.

In case you needed a reason to avoid tasering yourself, here you go.

Here's an excerpt to peak your interest:

The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, stupid, do it again!"

The world has lost another warrior.

Mildred Loving has passed away.

I'm very saddened by this. She was a true warrior. I have delusions of changing the world. She actually helped do that.

For no particular reason

see more cute dogs and puppies

Apparently, it's my day to throw random links at you.

I just found Lookybook through Tech Savvy Mama.

Lookybook allows you to access picture books for free over the internet.

Cool!

I'm filing that one away.

Replayground

Isn't this the neatest site? Replayground is chock full of some really cute crafts from recycled products. I'm forever looking at empty boxes and containers wondering, "What can I make with this?" Now I have some ideas.

Tell the world to simplify.

We have been making a conscious effort to simplify. So far, not bad.

Although, the sheer amount of crap that's out there is astounding.

So these "You don't need it" stickers are right up my alley.

They're gonna charge you for air

I just came across this at the Consumerist and it cracked me up.

The Future of Air Travel Fees

Why oh why am I sharing this with you?

Tag, I'm not really it, but I'm pretending that I was cool enough to be tagged.

As luck would have it, when I'm feeling completely uncreative, up pops a meme at Dirty Little Secret. Yay.

The rules:

a. Link to the person who tagged you.
b. Post the rules on your blog.
c. Write six random things about yourself.
d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
e. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.
f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

I've taken care of A and now B, so let's move on to C.

1. This one is related to JerseyGirl's #4. My father has another child about which I knew nothing. So technically, I suppose I'm the youngest of 8. He only revealed this a few years ago. He insists he told my mother years ago (this happened when he was a teenager, long before my mom), but she has selective memory to go with her selective hearing, so chances are she will insist she knows nothing about it. So my dad told me in secret. He remembers nothing about the mother (which freaks me the hell out because that is SO not my father), but she was relative of close family friends. He actually moved across the country to be with her when she was pregnant, but he was in the military at the time and they then sent him out of the country before he could find her. So my unknown brother/sister would be in his/her late 40s.

2. I do not like beer. I'm always up for trying one I've never tried before because I keep hoping I'll find one I like, but so far, no luck. In college, when my friends got 50 cent beers, I had to pay 3 freaking dollars for each bottle of hard cider. That stuff was good, though.

3. I don't like cherries. You can dip them in whatever you want, but I simply cannot stand them. I can't even stand anything that's cherry flavored (including lip gloss) or cherry scented.

4. Jersey Girl's #3 reminded me of something from my youth. I used to randomly stop and pose like the kids did in sitcom themes. If I was playing ball in the back yard, I would grab the ball, turn my head straight to the front, tilt it slightly, hold the ball and smile. I don't know what I thought I was doing.

5. I alter t.v. shows and books to insert characters for me to play. I once invented an extra sister for Just the Ten of Us (one whose age fell between the dumpy one and the young one who played the sax on Rags to Riches). I worked myself into the Anne books. I created an older daughter for Luke and Laura (who actually wouldn't be physically possible because they had no children when they were married in 1980 and I was born prior to that, but I just sent her to that magical boarding school where the soap kids age. Hey, Jason and AJ are about 10-15 years older than they should be. They attended that magical boarding school just like Victoria and Nicholas on Y&R).

6. This may be surprising after the references made in #5, but I don't like soap operas at all. There was a time when I was absolutely addicted to them. I subscribed to every soap opera magazine available and was completely obsessed. Now, though, I think they're absolute rubbish. The acting is horrible. The story lines are insane. They're just cheap and cheesy. That being said, I will never stop believing that Hayley Vaughan and Brian Bodine were the perfect couple. I had the biggest crush on Matt Borlenghi and I came very close to worshiping Kelly Ripa in the very early 90s. While I never met Ms. Ripa (despite much trying), I did once meet Matt Borlenghi at a mall meet and greet around Valentine's Day. I got an autograph and gave him this stupid wooden heart on a stick thing with ribbons hanging off. On the ribbons, I wrote, "I love you."

I am such a dork!

Now I'm tagging 6 people. I tend to tag the same 6 folks, so instead, I'll bust out the Google Reader and pick some folks that I read, but who are typically exempt from my games of tag.

Irim

Zoe

Leah

Hyphen Mama

Krissy

Ramblin' Educat

Cupcakes or buzzy toys?

While I'm busy making felt cupcakes, some brilliant creative person has made Dr. Goodvibes. Oh my goodness! That gave me my smile for the day. I hope it does the same for you.

I could have said the exact same thing.

2PM I Don't Even Try to Fit in Anymore

Coworker #1: Yeah, we should go ahead and fix that. Then, when we're done, we could dance around it like pagans.
Coworker #2: What? I don't even know what to say to you sometimes.
Coworker #1: Just stand back and pity my mother.

Washington, DC

via Overheard in the Office, Apr 23, 2008

What are you making?

So, all you creative souls, tell me, what are you making? I'm curious what type of craft/creative projects everyone is immersed in.

I made a few felt cupcakes. I tried a different pattern. These new ones look better than the truly odd one I made the kids for Chanukah.

How about you? What are you creating?

ETA: I had no idea that the blogger who posted that cupcake pattern was Jewish. I found the pattern the other night and used it. Then, I found it again via Google for you folks. After I posted the link here, I poked around at her links and found felt hamentaschen. AHHHHH. I think I'm in love. I MUST make those. We're a little late for Purim, but my kids need those regardless. I'll just skip the magnet part. How cute!

Do you see what I see?

I went to Target to kill some time and look around. I did not plan on Hannah Montana assaulting me with crude language (and an obvious lack of knowledge about basic anatomy).




Said the blogger to her audience: Do you see what I see? In that funky font, oh audience, do you see what I see?

We're off to see the Wizard...

to ask him why the freaking munchkins can't make their absolutely adorable shoes in sizes that fit my kids (or hell, even me).

At Kohl's last week, I annoyed the husband by drooling over these clogs. It doesn't help that I'm forever complaining about the price of children's shoes and how I would never spend more than $10 for most shoes. Then those pop up and I was almost willing to actually entertain the idea of getting them--at full price. Alas, they stop before sizes into which my children can actually fit.

While searching through Kohl's website in an attempt at sharing the cuteness that is those clogs with you, I came across yet another pair of munchkin shoes that are too freaking cute.

Alas, dear readers, please, I beg of you, in the future, NEVER let me search the internet for things to share with you.

Since those Kohls shoes are from Stride Rite, I headed over to their website to look around. You know I won't pay much for children's shoes, you should know I have never shopped there. I did once order two pairs when Amazon had a huge sale, but the pair for TheBoy was too small and the pair for me (yes, I can fit into kids' shoes) was a very different color than it appeared, so both were returned and I got a refund. I don't have much experience with Stride Rite, so when I looked around, the sheer cuteness almost knocked me on the floor.

You all suck! I want to share with you, but instead, I fall in love with things I will be forced to drool over from afar because I will never spend that much money on kids' shoes.

But damn it, these are some of the cutest shoes I have ever seen.

Let's not forget these, these (which are available in my size), and TheBoy would love a pair of shoes that are very much like his daddy's.

Who decided to let me have kids? I was a shoe fiend when mine were the only feet with which I was concerned. With three wee ones, I have the opportunity to hoard 3 times the cute shoes. Is there a 12-step program for this?

More useless cuteness that only a mother could truly appreciate.

The kids' had this interaction today:

Me: Your daddy rocks.
TheBoy: Daddy rocks.
Me: Yes he does. Go tell him that. Go say, 'Daddy rocks.'
TheBoy: Mama rocks.
Me: Well, yes, but go tell daddy he rocks.
TheBoy: Mama rocks.
Me: Daddy rocks.
TheBoy: MAMA rocks.
Dh: Figures.

Just moments later, there was another discussion.

Me: Girl2 rocks.
Girl2: I rock.
TheBoy: Girl2 rocks. Rock. Rock. (pats her head) Pet rock.

Wouldn't that be a kick-ass band name?

On Yahoo, I saw the headline, Painful Fill-ups & Papal Trivia.

Am I the only one who thinks that would be a great band name?

So now you tell me, what random phrase have you heard that you think would be great band names?

My sister and I have a whole collection of not only bands, but also song titles and album names.

Chametz, let the countdown begin.

I've noticed that every year, during Pesach, companies just love to introduce their new chametz-filled/coated/composed entirely of foods.

Last night, I saw my first one. Keebler has come out with some sort of fudge-filled cookie dipped in even more chocolate.

Damn you advertisers and your timing.

They advertise (or even create) foods to make life easier on the Catholics. Every fast food joint around town offered some sort of deal on their fish sandwhiches and a few places introduced new seafood products just in time for Lent. Actually, after seeing a commercial for one such fish sandwhich dh said, 'It must be that Catholic holiday 'cause the fish sandwhiches are making the rounds."

Yet they seem to introduce new foods just to make life more difficult for us.

Although, this year, we found a local grocery store that was chock full o'Kosher for Passover foods, so we're much happier. I even found a Dannon coffee flavored yogurt that's specifically kosher for Passover. Although, it wasn't featured with the Pesach foods, but matzah meal that is specifically NOT kosher for Passover was on the table with all the safe foods.

Now that I've remembered that yogurt, I'm off to have some. Yum! You Keebler Elves can shove your new cookies up your beloved tree. I'd much prefer my coffee yogurt.

Life lessons from around the seder plate

We attended the second seder at our old shul today. While there, I was amazed at the kids. We sat with a little girl that my kids know from camp. I've seen the mom around and I know the little girl, but I'd never spoken with them and I had never met the dad.

Our kids got along fabulously. This little girl is a very outgoing cute little kid. At one point, she led my girls in a game where they all hid a pen and pretended it was the aficoman. Later, the kids took a piece of matzah and created their own aficoman which they "hid." When the rabbi announced it was time to search for the real one, they presented theirs.

Rabbi knew what was going on (because this little girl is quite talkative and told him all about their plan beforehand), but he was impressed with their ingenuity. I was too.

There's a life lesson for you: Searching for someone else's aficoman can be fun, but being the mastermind (and seeker) of your own is just as rewarding. Sometimes more so because you don't have to waste time looking for it.

As a reward, the kids got Pesach stickers which are now plastered all over the place. I myself, was covered in 2 glittery frogs, 3 sparkly pieces of matzah and a disturbingly flashy pitcher of blood.

My love of felt food is unending

My obsession with felt food is well documented. So when the Opinionated Parent offered an extra entry for Lilly Bean felt food (my very favorite) if I blog about it, I jumped on the train to selloutville.

They're giving away some super-cute felt food from Lilly Bean and I want it!

New study proves my point.

The drug/nursing dilemma is a big problem. I've known people who weaned because a doctor told them to in order to take a certain medication. In several cases, they have had me check Hale after the fact only to find the drugs they were on were actually very safe.

Let me say that the majority of drugs are safe for nursing or have a safe alternative. Yet we're being lead to believe otherwise. Apparently, many doctors and pharmacists believe otherwise as well.

I have ranted about this before.

Now the Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog brought a new study to my attention.

"For 75 percent of drugs that are considered unequivocally safe for breastfeeding, pharmacies were inappropriately advising mothers to stop nursing."

GAH. I could say so much, but instead, I'll just say GAH.

I said more in my last post on the topic, so I'll just direct you to that post.