Thursday Thirteen: Names for Toys

Thirteen Awesome Toy Names 1....YourNuts The Dog had a stuffed bear that he got after we had him fixed. Dh thought it would be funny to name the bear YourNuts. He was right. That way, we could throw the toy and ask, "Where's YourNuts?" This was particularly hilarious when you remember the dog had just been neutered. What was even better was when the dog tore a hole in the bear while dh was on the phone with his father. Girl1 ran in and yelled, "The Dog destroyed HisNuts." My father-in-law was horribly confused, but we were amused beyond words. 2....MyNuts Aka the rabbit we gave the dog to replace YourNuts. 3....Seizure Bear When my daughters were tiny babies, my parents gave them these horrible bears that laughed maniacally and shook like crazy when you pushed their stomachs (ala Tickle Me Elmo). We donated one and took to calling the other one Seizure Bear. 4....Hello Mr. Zebra The girls had this Zebra toy. I named it Hello Mr Zebra in honor of a Tori Amos song. I also call TheBoy's bedtime toy by the same name. Original? Maybe not. Addicted to Tori Amos? Hell yeah! 5....NoDoubt The girls have an anatomically correct stuffed boy doll. When asked what they wanted to name him, they insisted we name him Nodoubt. At the time, we had just gotten a copy of No Doubt's greatest hits collection and we spent much time dancing around the house to it, so I assume that's where they got that from. 6....Bob Girl2 just loves that name. Not sure why. I find a stuffed animal named Bob to be amusing. 7....Jew Bear This menorah-holding (formerly) music-playing bear wearing a kipah. He's from my parents. All the really annoying toys are. I joke that he's Pooh Bear's second cousin. You know they're related because they have the same last name. 8....Dopeadope When the girls were about 18 months old, they were given their first real doll. My mom and I asked them what they wanted to name her. Girl2 said, "Dopeadopeadope." And so, Dopeadope it was. 9....Ungodlyketchup Girl2 (the queen of odd names) decided one of her dolls' was named Ungodlyketchup. I still don't know why. 10....Notacat That's the middle name of one of Girl2's favorite toys. She insisted she wanted to name him Cat. I pointed out that he was not a cat. She then declared that would be his middle name. 11....Made In China My brother gave the girls plastic fairies last year for their birthday. When they flipped them over, they saw writing on the bottom. Girl1 asked, "What's that?" Girl2 insisted, "That's her name." It said "Made in China" and so, that was her name as per my daughter's decree. FTR, I unfortunately had to throw Made In China and her winged sisters away the other day because of the lead paint concerns. 12....Jesus When I was 5, I got a baby doll which I insisted on naming Jesus. My mother tried to talk me out of it, but I was persistent. 13....Treif While not exactly a toy name, the girls once had an animal picture book. As babies, I never taught them "Pig." Instead, I taught them that the cute little smiling picture was "Treif (not kosher)." They didn't learn the word "Pig," until they were 3 or so, but from the time they were a year old, if you asked them, "Where's the treif," they would point to the picture of the pig and smile proudly. As they got older, when you pointed to the picture, they would proudly announce in their little voices, "Treif." My mother got annoyed and said, "That's awful," to which I replied, "But accurate."

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