or at least to scour the internet in an effort to provide you with a laugh.
Don't Make Me Come Down There and Rescue You
Police helicopter hovering with spotlight on suspect, over loudspeaker: Stop running. You can't get away. Just give yourself up. Stop running... No, don't go in the water. You won't make it across. No, don't-- Yeah, it's fucking cold, isn't it, dumbass? Just get out of the water!
American River Parkway
Overheard by: Ree
via Overheard Everywhere, Dec 17, 2007