All I want is support. All I get is bickering.

About a year ago, a secular homeschooling list started in my local area. This was great news. I've been run off from lists that were supposedly inclusive, but wound up being Christian in disguise. On one particular group, I was horrified by some of the things posted. At one point, a lesbian mom received harassing messages both on and off list insisting she was going to hell for the "evil" way in which she "chose" to live her life and how she was essentially abusing her children.

So I left that group (which later dropped all pretense and announced it was now Christian only and then insisted people sign a "statement of faith" in order to join) and then bounced around looking for another. I'm on a few that really are Christian in disguise, but they're not chat lists, so there's nothing awful like the way that mom was treated. Granted, yeah, I do get annoyed with the posts about how folks need to report to the capitol to protest and protect marriage (Protect it from what, people who love each other and have lived in a committed relationship for far longer than most of their heterosexual counterparts? I think we've proven time and time again that marriage should be protected from us. And honestly, after some of the shit you see with young couples in the military, we probably should be protected from marriage), the completely inaccurate posts attributing all sorts of medical and moral ailments to abortion, and the random quotations about how Jesus loves you, but not YOU because you're different. Would someone please tell me what any of that has to do with homeschooling? I've never been able to figure it out.

When an acquaintance started a secular homeschooling group last year, I was thrilled. Even many of my Christian friends joined because they too were sick of the "holier than thou" attitudes seen on the Christian lists. All this time, I've been pretty happy with the group. I've asked for their opinions/suggestions on several issues and was thrilled with the responses I got.

I just left the group. A moderator raised a decent point, but, being one who loves the drama, she decided to make it all very dramatic. No one else suffers like her. No one understands what she's going through. No one appreciates her. Wah wah wah! For the past few days, the posts have consisted of people asking questions and her bitching about how much everyone sucks and how she's just going to take her toys and go home. Damn it. I joined the list for support, not drama. I unsubscribed.

DAMN IT! It was a great resource, but now it's been destroyed. Why do we have to play the one-up game? Why must we try to convince everyone else that our suffering is worse than everyone else's? Why can't we agree that we all have our own struggles and then band together to help work through them?

Hate the administration. Love the t-shirts.

I found political t-shirts that I just adore. If you need a gift idea for me, here ya go.

Wtf

Should Brave Men Die...

My child vs. my president

Osama still doesn't live in Iraq

I love the state shirts.

And dh and I both want this on a bumper sticker.

Homeschoolers are funny.

I love these kids!

Oh how I love homeschooling. Without it, I would not be scanning YouTube for "homeschool" and chanced to come across this gem. More importantly, without homeschooling, these kids might not have time to do this:

This is your mom. This is your mom on cliches. Any questions?

My mother misunderstands lots of things. High on her list are any sort of cliche or phrase. She mutilates them to the point where they are barely recognizable, but very funny.

You may "Kill two birds with one stone," but my mom does it "in one stone."

You may believe "Misery loves company," but my mom thinks, "Misery deserves company."

No amount of my reasoning or arguing will help admit that her versions MAKE NO FREAKING SENSE.

And so, she just keeps on keeping on with her ridiculous phrases.

When I saw the phrases mentioned here, I immediately thought of my mom.

She does use, "Kitten caboodle," "Taken for granite," and I swear the only reason she doesn't say, "Devil-make-hair," is because it has yet to dance across her mind. Give her a few years, though.

Out to lunch

If, by "Lunch," you mean, "Getting hopelessly wrapped up in the land of Harry Potter."

I finished on Tuesday, but then that meant I needed yesterday to recuperate and get all the work done that was ignored while I read the book.

I'm done and I'm not going to spoil anything for anyone, so fear not.

I need to run out in a little while, so no long posts from me, but fear not. I'll be back later and I have funny catalog pictures to scan, share, and mock. So stay tuned.

Add this to my list of super powers.

We've already established that I am the proud possessor of powers of the super variety.

Here's another one to add to the list of super powers.

I have the amazing ability to say completely inappropriate things about penises (penisi?) when random people appear. Then again, maybe they have the super power of appearing right at the most inappropriate moments. You be the judge.

While at a party this weekend, we got on the topic of inappropriate kid penis-related things. I started to tell a story and a friend even said, "Maybe we should close the door." So I did and continued on with my story. I explained how I thought it was funny/embarassing that every time the boy reaches for the boy parts, the girls insist on asking The Boy in sing songy voices, "Do you like your penis?"

Apparently, during my story, someone walked into the room behind me and I didn't notice until I heard the door close right as I uttered the word, "Penis," in the same sing-songy voice that the kids use.

Then we ventured off into foreskin stories. I shared one as yet another worker walked in. I forget what the story was exactly, but it was yet another in the list of mortifying stories that you don't share with anyone outside your circle of friends.

How the hell did I manage to tell the stories right as people walked in EVERY SINGLE TIME? Each time, I attracted these people THROUGH A CLOSED DOOR.

I don't know about you, but my super powers amaze me!

Let's see Cicely Mary Barker paint a picture of THAT fairy.

I just checked one of my spam folders and saw the following title:
"Get a visit from the big dick fairy."

Now you'll forgive me while I roll on the floor laughing hysterically.

I hate spam with a passion, but that cracked me the hell up.

Random link Friday

That is one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Watch all the way to the end. When you think it can't get any cuter, it does.

I also came across the remix version:

What would Jesus do?

Dear obnoxious people,

The entire world is not Christian. Even those who are don't particularly enjoy those obnoxious "G-d will hate you if you don't forward this to 10,000 people" Christian e-mail forwards. People who are on topic-specific message boards don't enjoy getting said forwards when the message boards have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO with religion.

Please cut that shit out. WWJD? I'm pretty sure he'd beat you senseless.

Image courtesy of Chucklenut Shirts.

Decapitated monkeys and Nine Inch Nails

When Girl1 lost her first tooth, the Tooth Fairy left her not only a $1 coin, but also a small stuffed monkey. One hour after the kids woke up the next morning, Girl1 had already decapitated him. I've heard of those mothers who scream, "We can't have anything nice in this house and it's all because of you." Yeah, I understand that now. Give my kids a few hours and they can destroy anything. Often, it doesn't even take that long.

I found the decapitated monkey fascinating. Not only would it be a kickin' name for a band, but the visual is pretty neat too. See what I mean?


Doesn't he look sad about the fact that his head was violent torn from his body?


And now for more randomness. I've heard this song on the radio, but haven't paid much attention. It came on while I was in the car with dh yesterday and he recited the first two lines and told me he liked the song. I heard it again today and looked up the rest of the lyrics. Here they are:

Nine Inch Nails - Capital/Capitol G

I pushed a button and elected him to office and a
He pushed a button and it dropped a bomb
You pushed a button and could watch it on the television
Those motherfuckers didn't last too long ha ha
I'm sick of hearing 'bout the haves and the have nots
Have some personal accountability
The biggest problem with the way that we've been doing things is
The more we let you have the less that I'll be keeping for me

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded in my God for this one
He signs his name with a Capital G

Don't give a shit about the temperature in Guatemala
Don't really see what all the fuss is about
Ain't gonna worry bout no future generations and a
I'm sure somebody's gonna figure it out
Don't try to tell how some power can corrupt a person
You haven't had enough to know what it's like
You're only angry 'cause you wish you were in my position
Now nod your head because you know that I'm right—all right!

Well I used to stand for something
But forgot what that could be
There's a lot of me inside you
Maybe you're afraid to see

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded in my God for this one
He signs his name with a Capital G

Thank you, Krissy.

Got a comment last night that made me feel better. The compliment part was nice, but it's the last part that I loved. Yes! Someone gets it! Thanks.

You are a beautiful and amazing woman, no amount of words I can say can truly capture how much so. And no amount of words can take the place of hearing them from your dh. I'm sorry :-(

"I want to be cool, tall, vulnerable and luscious.I would have it all if I only had this much."

Short version of the long story:

See the title.

The last compliment I got from my husband was in September of '04.

I feel unattractive and unappreciated.

No amount of trying to rationally discuss it, working out, crying over it, or trying to avoid it all together seems to make a difference.

I've got nothing else in my bag of tricks. I have no idea what else to do. I'm really upset and that doesn't seem to matter.

I've got nothing more for ya. I've been avoiding blogging about it at all. I really don't know what to say other than, this sucks and I sure as hell hope something changes soon. While I'm hoping, I'm not betting on it.

Doll houses and recycling

In my parents' basement is a 3 foot tall doll house with working lights and tons of expensive furniture.

Although, I think I would have liked this better: The Perfect Dollhouse

I love that not only is it made entirely of recycled goods, but, if made the right size, it can slide right under a bed.

Look through the whole article. They have some great ideas for furniture and accessories.

I can see we're going to be busy around here. We have a home to build, decorate and furnish.

An open letter to the medical community

Dear doctors/nurses/other medical professionals who really should know what you're talking about (because it's your job and because you have an ethical obligation to do so),

Please do your research. I realize you probably only had an hour or so on breastfeeding during your education. I know more and more studies are constantly being released that show the negative effects of not breastfeeding. I realize you have busy practices and busy private lives, but please, I beg of you; our children beg of you; my sister begs of you, please be informed. YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO BE INFORMED.

I am sick and tired of trying to help moms fix what misinformed doctors have screwed up. I've gathered information for a mom whose baby suffered through nipple confusion because the pediatrician refused to follow the AAP's standard treatment for newborn jaundice. I've counseled moms in tears because their sleepy babies weren't gaining weight. When I shared the information with them from recent studies about the effects of epidurals on newborns, several moms told me, "But the L&D nurses/OB told me it wouldn't effect the baby." I've had to bite my tongue so as to not rant and rave over a doctor who recommended unnecessary supplementation of an infant whose weight was nowhere near the threshold for recommending such action. The mom hoped to supplement for only a day. A month later, she was forced to continue giving formula as her supply was drying up as a result. The baby's already "not quite right" latch got much worse thanks to nipple preference from the supplemental bottles of formula. And yes, I admit that I too suffered through almost unbearable physical pain as a result of how our breastfeeding experience was mismanaged in the hospital when my girls were born. After that, I had a pediatrician whose first line of defense was to supplement. When I refused, she reluctantly agreed that I could try nursing more often. I did and at a weight check a week later, they gained substantially more than was expected.

My daughters' first year had far too many of those moments. Each time, I provided the doctors with stacks of research. Every single time, they handed them back immediately. The most they ever did was glance at the paperwork. Being ignorant is one thing. Willful ignorance, however, is disgusting and can be devastating.

I have a soft spot in my heart for those moms who get awful medical advice in part because I was one such mom. I also have a particular disdain for medical professionals who are not informed. That is their job. They have a responsibility to the mom and baby.

This rant is brought to you courtesy of my sister. She called me today from the doctor where she was being treated for an eye infection. The doctor informed her that she wouldn't be able to breastfeed while taking the Fluoroquinolone antibiotic eye drop he was prescribing for her. She called me while in the office to have me look it up in Hale's book to see what the alternatives were. I was floored when I saw it is an L2 which is "Moderately Safe." Ratings start at L1 and go up. To give you an idea of the ratings, Percoset, which is commonly prescribed for many nursing moms after birth is an L3. The eye drop he wanted to prescribe is listed by the American Academy of Pediatrics as "Maternal Medication Usually Compatible with Breastfeeding." Under "Pediatric Concerns," Hale notes, "None reported..."

Now, keep in mind, my sister has a family history of allergies to dairy and soy. Her daughter had severe allergies to both. So should my sister have decided to follow this doctor's advice and stop breastfeeding her infant son while on the medication, what on earth would she have fed the child? Why would she expose him to these potentially dangerous proteins when the drug is safe?

And this doctor she saw had never heard of Dr. Hale. Pardon me while I lift my jaw up off the floor. I have never known a doctor who wasn't familiar with the foremost authority on breastfeeding and medication. He, quite literally, wrote the book on it and he continues to do so. To not be familiar with Hale and continue to give erroneous information when such a wealth of the accurate variety is readily available is a violation of the hippocratic oath.

So, medical professionals, I beg of you to DO YOUR JOB. Be informed. Help your patients make accurate and informed decisions. I'm not asking you to develop any psychic abilities. I'm not asking you to take on the weight of the world. I'm simply asking that you make use of the tools that already exist for the taking. I'm asking you to do your job. Treat your patients. Don't spout misinformation and simply send them on their way. DO YOUR JOB!

"What the heck is G-d going to do with a dead dog?"

Dh and I both cracked up (I cracked up. He smiled. That's "cracking up" for him) over this comment from AndreAnna left at Motherhood Uncensored (see links):

How friggen adorable. My parents told my nephew that his dog Paige was dying and when she passed away, she'd go and be with God. Then, with a straight face, he looks at me and says "But what the heck is God doing (sic) to do with a dead dog?"

Like her nephew, my kid's never cease to amaze me with the wisdom, confusion, randomness and general hilarity that spouts from their mouths.

We already have the incredibly insightful comment Girl1 came up with after Sunday school (scroll down a little bit), some comments from them on Jewish identity, their ambitious plans for the future, and I still find the first announcement absolutely hysterical.

We can't forget everyone's favorite mispronunciation.

Well, this evening, my children informed me that I'm going to have a president for a son-in-law.

My kids don't like Bush. Wonder where they got that from. Tonight, at bedtime, Girl2 told me that she was going to send Bush "Over there, away from his wife forever and he can never come back." She explained, "He's mean to the soldiers, so I'm going to be bad to him." After a brief reminder that we can always try to behave well even when others are mean to us. Without a pause, Girl2 then explained her new plans. "I'm going to love Bush and marry him." When I expressed confusion about the sudden change of heart, she explained, "That way, I can love him and be nice to him and maybe then he'll learn to be nice to other people."

Gotta admire the simplicity, the optimism and of course the logic of childhood.