Sister Sunshine: 5. Common sense: 0

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Let's say you continuously harass your family and friends with stupid "Get rich" e-mails.
Let's say one such family member asks if those have ever worked.
Let's say your answer to the aforementioned question is, "Of course not."

Then please, PLEASE, explain to us WHY YOU KEEP DOING IT?

Common sense, Ur Doeng it rong!

I've got all my sisters and me, but unfortunately, it appears one of us missed out on the common sense train.

For those keeping score:
Sister Sunshine: 3. Common Sense: 0

Yes, oh yes. I got ANOTHER theft or a religious idol in an attempt to gain wealth.

Oh yes. We've been here before.
Submitted for approval of the midnight society are exhibits one and two.

This e-mail contains a picture of the "Sacred Angel," (let me remind you, yet again: Me-Jewish. Sister Sunshine-Atheist) and promises

"If you have passed it on, your wish will come
True and money will come your way shortly. "

FTR, "Money" is highlighted in red in the forward. I didn't do that just to point out that, once again, we have an e-mail that bastardizes a figure from someone else's religion in the hopes of monetary gain.

I hope your wish isn't to keep your friends because forwarding crap like this will make them run screaming from you. I'm related to Sister Sunshine, so I don't have that luxury.

The chain mail urges you to

Send this to all your good friends online to show them
You are friends.

Sending this to all your good friends will not show them you are friends. It will show them that you are an asshole.

If you get this back from:
1 person - you are lonely
2 people - you have a couple friends, but not many
3 people - you have a few friends...
4 people - you have some friends...
5 people - you have several friends!!
6 people - you have many friends! !!
7 people - you are SOOOO loved!!!
Remember, no man or woman is a failure who has a friend!

You are, however, a failure, if you continue yanking the chain and send this thing on it's horridly lonely quest to Spamalot. If you get this back from 7 people, it's not proof that you are "SOOOO loved." It's proof that you are friends with idiots.

If I could sit on the porch with G-d, the first thing I would do is thank him for you....
Author unknown

If I could sit across the porch (from) you, I'd smack you and tell you to cut it out with the freaking chain letters already!

Sister Sunshine Proves My Point.

We have another in the long line of WTFable e-mails from everyone's favorite sister.

If you recall, I have already established that my middle sister is on crack. Let's check the track record here: in that entry, I pointed out that my (Atheist) sister sent me (Traditional Jew) a forward featuring an animated Jesus in an attempt "Hear what (she's) been waiting to hear." What the hell (no pun intended)? Sure, go ahead and steal a depiction of someone else's deity for your own personal gain.

But she wasn't done.


Wait for it.




Today, I got this:

From: SisterSunshine@WTF.com
Date: Tuesday, May 5, 2009 7:52 AM
To: Whole bunches of people who really don't want another stupid forward
Subject: (no subject) There's never a subject with her. I have no idea why.



Money Goddess
This is a Money Goddess Lakshimi. Pass it to 6 of your good friends, or family and be rich in 4 Days. Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days.
I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you delete it, you will never know!

SHE WORKS SHE REALLY WORKS

Oh my stars and garters!

I'm adopted. Please tell me I'm adopted. If I'm not, would someone PLEASE adopt me.

Commenters say...

Capri left an absolutely brilliant comment on my last post about my sister and her animated Jesus forwards.

"Well, that's further proof that chain letters really do act as a drug to people afflicted with forwarditis. They kill common sense and numb the part of the brain responsible for rational thought."

YES. That is certainly an accurate assessment of the situation.

And FTR, yesterday, I received another forward from the same sister. This time, it was the one that brags about Oliver North and his warning about Osama Bin Laden. I knew it was false because I checked it on Snopes a while ago. I replied with a link and a note about it being false with a reminder that Snopes exists for a reason. My sister's response was to tell me that I'm, "Always the one to ruin it."

If, I'm the one known to stop stupidity in its tracks, well, then that's a title I will gladly wear. :-) Quick, someone make me a little sash with that written across the front. I will gladly be crowned the "Common Sense Queen."

It's official, my sister is on crack.

I have 4 sisters (plus 1 OBM). One of them is apparently on crack. I refer to the middle of my sisters as, "Sister Sunshine" or "PITA." Most of my friends don't even know her real name, but they instantly recognize who I'm speaking about when I use the nicknames.

She is one of the many black sheep of the family--always creating trouble. Mind you, she's in her 50s, so she should be WAY past this teenage angst stuff.

She just sent me what is quite possibly the most WTF-able e-mail ever.

Now let's remember three things: #1. I am Jewish. #2. My sister has given up on all religion and has been an Atheist for at least the past 30 years. #3. I HATE forwards with a passion.

So gather round and catch your jaws as they hit the floor over this gem of an e-mail forward from Sister Sunshine (e-mail addresses have been changed/removed, but that's it):

From: SisterSunshine@WTF.com
Date: Wednesday, March 4, 2009, 8:14 PM
To: Whole bunches of people who really don't want another stupid forward
Subject: (no subject)

It can't hurt - I'd rather be on the side of angels than not.
Let me know what happens to you the morning after you open this e-mail.
This is an unusual one. It actually gives you a time tomorrow.. Let's see if it works.

GUARDIAN ANGEL

Forward this message the same day you received it. It may sound ridiculous, but it is right on time. We believe that something is about to happen.. Angels exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends; you are one of them.. Something wonderful is about to happen to you and your friends. Tomorrow at 11:09AM somebody will address you and tell you some thing you have been waiting to hear.

Please do not break this. Send it to at least 7 of your friends!


And to that, all I have to say is, "Dude, WTF?" And yes, I realize Jesus has lost his animation. You'll have to trust me that he was making the sign of the cross. Blogger doesn't like animated gifs.

Odd coincidence or blood relative?

Have you ever met someone who reminded you so much of someone else? In high school, I met a guidance counselor who my mother swore bore an incredible resemblance to my grandfather. My mother once worked with a woman who looked so very much like my aunt (OBM) that my mother was speechless. I once met a girl my age who also reminded me very much of that aunt and even had the same rather unusual name. I had a dear friend who was often mistaken for a girl named Jade. We never did meet Jade, but on several occasions, we had strangers strike up a conversation assuming she was that girl.

I had one such experience this weekend. I met an artist who is very similar to one of my sisters. She looks similar. Her tone of voice was often very similar. Even her attitude was very much like this sister. She's even the same age.

The thing that makes this so striking for me is that my sister is adopted. We know her birth family (she was raised by her mother and my father adopted her when she was very small), but her birth father died years ago. We know he was an "interesting" man. He was wild and a convict (not even an EX-con. He was on the run from legal authorities when he dated my sister's mother). My sister met him later in life and had a hint of a relationship with him, but I never met him. I have no idea if this woman could be related to her.

It's such an odd position to be in. The resemblance could be purely coincidental. Then again, since my sister was adopted, this woman could be a relative. It's so bizarre to look at someone you've just met and think, "You could be related to my sister."

I could have taken part in this conversation.

More Women With Dirtier Minds Than Men
Girl #1, pointing to bag of peanuts: Are those your nuts?
Girl #2: No, they're Bob's* nuts.
[brief pause, then both girls begin laughing hysterically]
Girl #1, after a few minutes: That was the stupidest thing ever.
Girl #2: You know you liked it.
Overheard by: I laughed because I didn't know what was going on
via Overheard Everywhere, May 23, 2008

Why oh why am I sharing this with you?

Tag, I'm not really it, but I'm pretending that I was cool enough to be tagged.

As luck would have it, when I'm feeling completely uncreative, up pops a meme at Dirty Little Secret. Yay.

The rules:

a. Link to the person who tagged you.
b. Post the rules on your blog.
c. Write six random things about yourself.
d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
e. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.
f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

I've taken care of A and now B, so let's move on to C.

1. This one is related to JerseyGirl's #4. My father has another child about which I knew nothing. So technically, I suppose I'm the youngest of 8. He only revealed this a few years ago. He insists he told my mother years ago (this happened when he was a teenager, long before my mom), but she has selective memory to go with her selective hearing, so chances are she will insist she knows nothing about it. So my dad told me in secret. He remembers nothing about the mother (which freaks me the hell out because that is SO not my father), but she was relative of close family friends. He actually moved across the country to be with her when she was pregnant, but he was in the military at the time and they then sent him out of the country before he could find her. So my unknown brother/sister would be in his/her late 40s.

2. I do not like beer. I'm always up for trying one I've never tried before because I keep hoping I'll find one I like, but so far, no luck. In college, when my friends got 50 cent beers, I had to pay 3 freaking dollars for each bottle of hard cider. That stuff was good, though.

3. I don't like cherries. You can dip them in whatever you want, but I simply cannot stand them. I can't even stand anything that's cherry flavored (including lip gloss) or cherry scented.

4. Jersey Girl's #3 reminded me of something from my youth. I used to randomly stop and pose like the kids did in sitcom themes. If I was playing ball in the back yard, I would grab the ball, turn my head straight to the front, tilt it slightly, hold the ball and smile. I don't know what I thought I was doing.

5. I alter t.v. shows and books to insert characters for me to play. I once invented an extra sister for Just the Ten of Us (one whose age fell between the dumpy one and the young one who played the sax on Rags to Riches). I worked myself into the Anne books. I created an older daughter for Luke and Laura (who actually wouldn't be physically possible because they had no children when they were married in 1980 and I was born prior to that, but I just sent her to that magical boarding school where the soap kids age. Hey, Jason and AJ are about 10-15 years older than they should be. They attended that magical boarding school just like Victoria and Nicholas on Y&R).

6. This may be surprising after the references made in #5, but I don't like soap operas at all. There was a time when I was absolutely addicted to them. I subscribed to every soap opera magazine available and was completely obsessed. Now, though, I think they're absolute rubbish. The acting is horrible. The story lines are insane. They're just cheap and cheesy. That being said, I will never stop believing that Hayley Vaughan and Brian Bodine were the perfect couple. I had the biggest crush on Matt Borlenghi and I came very close to worshiping Kelly Ripa in the very early 90s. While I never met Ms. Ripa (despite much trying), I did once meet Matt Borlenghi at a mall meet and greet around Valentine's Day. I got an autograph and gave him this stupid wooden heart on a stick thing with ribbons hanging off. On the ribbons, I wrote, "I love you."

I am such a dork!

Now I'm tagging 6 people. I tend to tag the same 6 folks, so instead, I'll bust out the Google Reader and pick some folks that I read, but who are typically exempt from my games of tag.

Irim

Zoe

Leah

Hyphen Mama

Krissy

Ramblin' Educat

What the heck is Bah-Bux and other mysteries revealed

Here's the story behind the mysterious Bah-Bux. FTR, I had TheBoy say it for my sister today and her guess was "Mailbox."

Yesterday, I heard his car door close and told the kids, "Daddy's home." TheBoy went running to the open front door. That's when I heard him yell, "Bah-Bux," over and over again. Dh came in and TheBoy just kept saying, "Hi, Daddy. Bah-Bux."

That's when I asked Girl1 to translate for her brother. "He said, 'Starbucks'," she told me.

At that point, I jumped off the couch and ran to my lovely husband who held two Frappacinos in his lovely dear sweet hands.

Bah-Bux=Starbucks
Yes, my toddler can correctly identify not only the Starbucks logo (he will yell that when we pass one on the street), but also Frappacinos as well.

Here's more cuteness from my son.

Today, while donning only a shirt and socks, he announced, "Bye bye. Go out." I told him, "You can't go out without pants." To which he pointed to his bare legs and replied, "Ma-gin-erry pants." I didn't get it at first, but then he said, "Soos too," and pretended to put on shoes. Only then did I realize "Ma-gin-erry," is Toddlereese for, "Imaginary." I was quite impressed.

The other night, we got home late and dh put the big kids to bed. TheBoy was sitting on the couch with me starting to doze off. So I figured I'd buck tradition and just let him sit up with us until he fell asleep. Of course, he got his second wind and was wide awake. He tried everything to avoid bed. At one point, I told him, "You need to go to bed now." He said, "Nooooooo," in a sing-songy voice. He then looked up at me, reached towards my face and said in his cutest tone, "Pwetty eyes." He got another 10 minutes and lots of cuddles for that.

Tonight, I snuggled with him before bed and I told him, "You're beautiful." He said, "Boo-tee-full." Then he smiled, looked up at me and said, "Mama too."

You see that puddle over there? That's where my heart just melted.

Oh and he's funny at bedtime. He must say the Sh'ma. Well, someone has to say it. He's usually too busy covering his eyes to even try. If you forget it, though, he will yell, "Ma. Ma," while covering his eyes. He sleeps with a toy zebra. He has recently taken to covering his own eyes with one hand and covering the zebra's with the other while I say the prayer.

Atah meiveen?*

or
At meiveenah?**

Those of you in Israel, correct me if that's way off. The big kids and I are using a CD I found at the library to try to learn Hebrew, but unfortunately, that leaves me guessing at how the heck to spell things using the English alphabet.

How funny would that be if I screw up the title asking if you understand!

Today, the boy announced, "Bah-Bux." I've heard him say it many times and previously, I knew exactly what it meant, but for some reason, today, I couldn't figure out what he was saying.

Luckily, he is not an only child. I was able to ask his biggest sister to translate and she did (she speaks TheBoyish far more fluently than we do). We learned that trick years ago. That was one of the wonderful things about having twins. When we couldn't understand one, we asked the other and she would translate. The rare exceptions often involved a 2-year-old Girl2 with a very puzzled expression on her face, her hands out to her side (in that "I don't know" motion), her head shaking sideways to indicate, "No," and the announcement, "I do not know," in her sweet little voice. We used to joke that she was a cyborg because don't, can't, won't and the like were all absent from her vocabulary.

So, now, take your best guess. Do you speak Toddler-eese? What do you think Bah-Bux translates to in English?


I'll come back after Shabbat and post the whole story behind it. Until then, take your best guess. FTR, Bah-Bux is an English word.



*"Do you understand?" in Hebrew
**Feminine form of the same question

Two little words that can change your life.

Did you say, "Thank you," today?

I try to say it, but I realize I don't say it nearly enough. The next time someone thanks you, stop and think about what it really means. Don't think of it as a trite phrase, realize that it means someone has recognized you and they appreciate what you have done. When you realize that, maybe you'll use it more. Make sure you thank those around you. You never know what it might do for them. I can't find it now, but recently, I came across a postcard at Post Secret where someone admitted to wanting to kill him/herself, but nice strangers kept him/her from doing it. Someone else wrote in to say he/she was in the same situation.

To my husband who agreed to run around with us today even though he's sick, Thank you.

to the man who works the window at Starbucks even though he's deaf (he handles the face-to-face stuff at the window). Thank you for giving me the opportunity to show my children what people with disabilities CAN do. I hear so often, "He/she can't do that because he/she is disabled." It's wonderful to have a real-life example where I have the opportunity to show the kids that people have far more abilities than disabilities. Oh and thanks for signing with me (without laughing at my feeble attempt) even though I know my ASL skills are lacking.



Thank you to my big kids for all their help. Sometimes, I want to sell you on e-bay, but more often than not, I'm floored at how much you love each other and what you're willing to do to help out with your little brother.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU to my friends who were not only there for me when I needed it, but who even provided tchochkis great conversation and wine.

THANK YOU to 2 of the aforementioned friends who not only stepped up, but jumped at the chance to help when I had to go out of state for a funeral and dh couldn't get off work. We were frantic and had no clue what we were going to do, but two of my friends (including one who really didn't know me that well) watched the girls all day for 2 days. I will be forever in their debt. We have yet to come up with a proper way to thank them. If anyone has ideas, please let me know.

To that cashier at the store who let my daughters use the "Private. Employees Only" bathroom, thank you so very much.

To that teenage girl who raced after me in the mall in order to give me back my son's brand new and oh so adorable sweat shirt that had fallen, thank you. I hope I got across how much I appreciated it, but I'm afraid I didn't.

Thank you to a specific teacher friend who jumped at the chance to help me out with a reading question even though the two siblings I have who are teachers never responded.

Thank you to my niece who is absolutely wonderful and who is NOT insane. That's always a plus in our family even if it is rare.

To those who provide fodder for my funny bone as well as my deeper thoughts through their blogs, thank you. I'm constantly checking my Google Reader to see who has updated today. I admit that there are a specific few who always make my heart skip a beat when I see they've updated. Most of these people, I have never met, yet I eagerly follow along with their lives and their thoughts. Thank you for taking time from your day to blog. Whether your blog entry consists of a humorous account of those around you or an in-depth discussion of all things spiritual, I really do appreciate it. Sometimes, something you write inspires me to think differently or do something I never considered before. The fact that someone across the country or across the world can write something and create a change in me is astounding. Thank you.

To whomever created Frappaccinos, thank you.

To my sister and another friend who went above and beyond and took me to the amazing chocolate shoppe I've been wanting to try and then wouldn't let me pay for my order, thank you.

To my son who potty trained earlier than everyone insisted was possible, THANK YOU. Let me repeat that, THANK YOU.

Thank you so much to a friend's mother who, nearly a decade later, still raves about my wedding even when our own families hated it because it was so "different." And thank you to that friend for relaying that conversation.

Thank you to Kamrin for oh so much. From introducing me to the concept of simplifying, to always being there for others even when struggling through so much yourself, thank you.

I don't always appreciate the way my mother parented and I'm making different decisions for our family, but she was a strong female role model who helped shape my Feminist thinking. Thank you.

Thanks to my dad for being friends with everyone. Sure, sometimes it's embarassing when he insists on trying to speak what little bit of another language he knows (and loudly--oh so very loudly), but I think his openness and lack of fear towards others was a wonderful example for us to see growing up.

Thank you to the local radio station for offering free tickets to a kids' show and thank you to my husband for humoring me and calling on his cell phone even though I was already calling at the same time (I didn't win the tickets. He did).

I could do this forever, but instead, I'll end with a challenge. Make sure you thank at least one person every day--be truly thankful, don't just use the phrase in passing. Make a point of noticing when someone says, "Thank you," to you as well. Don't just brush it off. Realize that they're telling you how much they appreciate you.

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart”-Kahlil Gibran

I've always thought my kids were cute. I'm their mom. I'm supposed to. It's natural.

Every once in a while, though, I'm struck by how stunningly beautiful they are.

There were times when I nursed TheBoy that I stared into his gorgeous eyes and just got lost. There I was nourishing his body, his soul and those wonderful trusting eyes stared up at me with such innocence and such love.

I had similar moments with my girls. Babies are at their most beautiful when they're at the breast. You see those sweet chubby cheeks bouncing and those big gorgeous eyes staring up at you brimming with contentment and love. With my twins, though, their first interactions with each other were at the breast. For the longest time, they didn't seem to realize they were separate beings. They never showed a conscious awareness of the other one. Then, one day, while I nursed them both on either side, one reached over and grabbed the other one's hand. Their gazes shifted from me to each other. While they continued to nurse, they flailed their little arms reaching out for the other.

Over the past few days, I've been overwhelmed by my children's beauty.

I recently got some pictures of them that I just adore. I looked at the photographs and was shocked by how gorgeous they are. I always thought they were cute, but I've gotten lost in those pictures and I've been left wondering, "When did you grow into such beautiful beings?"

Today, we went to story time and I was struck by it once again. The big kids made such a point of helping their little brother without ever being asked. They treated him so gently and so motherly. I have two sisters who have spent their entirely lives trying to physically injure each other, so I'm particularly thankful for and in awe of the connections I see between my children.

Earlier this morning, TheBoy took something that belongs to Girl1. I held my breath and waited for the eruption, but rather than scream at him, she spoke very sweetly to him and she let him have it without a fight.

I've made a point of pulling the big kids aside today to tell them how proud I am of them. And I am. They're absolutely gorgeous, both inside and out. I'm so very grateful for and so much in awe of them.

Just when you're about to throttle them, they do something like this.

Girl1 has had her third loose tooth for a while now. We actually found it was loose not long after the first one popped out, but it's holding firm and refuses to be yanked, twisted, or coerced out.

There's a carousel at a local mall. The kids have ridden on it a grand sum total of once and that was because my parents were out and they paid for it.

I would love to be a more spontaneous parent and let them do more fun stuff every once in a while, but their memories astound me and their expectations exhaust me. You let them do something once and they ask for it every single time after that.

That has been the case with that carousel. They last time they bugged me about it, I explained that they were more than welcome to use their own money to buy tickets.

Then, not long ago, Girl1 started putting more effort into freeing that loose tooth. While wiggling said tooth, she came up and asked me, "Do you tink da toof fahee ill ive ee ore oney if I ass?" Mispronunciations courtesy of the little fingers busy messing with the tooth. When I asked her why, she told me wanted enough money so that she could buy tickets for herself and her sister since her sister has yet to loose a tooth and it doesn't appear as though she will any time soon.

Awwwww.

Oh and today, we watched a kids' show about money. It focused on different ways in which we acquire money (work, gifts, allowance, loans, etc). When it was over, Girl1 came up to me and we had this conversation:

Girl1: They forgot one.
Me: One what?
Girl1: One way of getting money.
Me: And what would that be?
Girl1: The tooth fairy.

Thursday Thirteen: Random Early Edition

I'm only a little early.

I'm at a complete loss right now, so this week, my Thursday Thirteen will feature a random list of thoughts fresh from my stream of consciousness.




Thirteen Thoughts Rampaging Through My Mind Right Now



1…. I really really REALLY hope the military doesn't reactivate my husband.

2.....The speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec

3.....I memorized #2 when I was in the 7th grade on a field trip. It has actually proven to be very useful.

4.... Bamboo can grow 15 feet in 7 days.

5.....I learned that bit of information when the big kids and I were studying Tu B'Shevat for school.

6....Starbucks actually offers the Peppermint Mocha Frappacino year round, but they only put it up on the menu in December. Although, after December, you can't get those nifty little pink peppermint sprinkles on it.

7....The same is true of the Java Chip Frappacino. It may not always be on the menu, but you can get it anyway.

8....That last bit of information came in very handy after my sister had her baby (a homebirth, btw). I headed out to see her and asked what I could bring. Her only request was Starbucks, but she lamented the fact that the Java Chip Frappacino was not on their current menu. I was able to provide her with her chocolaty coffee goodness despite what the menu proclaimed.

9....I've never understood why Kermit sang, "Why are there so many songs about rainbows?" There aren't. There's ONE.

10....Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone. Although, in my head, it was the dead-pan talking version of the song, but I can't find that right now.

11....Long after our kids stopped watching Caillou, my sister and I will still randomly bust into the theme-song.

12....The Muppet Show is the kids' show that I think had the best theme.

13....I wish surfaces were all self-dusting.




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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Job titles for mom

My sister and I are in the process of listing all the job titles that would cover the jobs moms do.

Amid psychologist, nutritionist, fashion consultant, vet-tech, unlicensed practical nurse, chauffer and teacher (among others); I came up with

Finder-of-lost-things/Loser-of-found-things-that-are-way-
too-obnoxious

Okay, folks, feel free to jump in. We wound up with a huge list, but of course we didn't write them down. Think about what you do every day and tell me what job titles you think are accurate.

I seem to have misplaced my dignity, but I know exactly where the poop is.

Prepare yourself. This entry deals with potty-training. If you don't have kids, this may seem like one of the strangest things in the world. There is no way to accurately explain how much your conversations change once you have kids. Elimination (whether it be in diapers, potty chairs, toilets, clothing or all over the floor) regularly becomes a topic and it usually doesn't even gross you out in the least. Ah, the joys of parenthood.

The Boy pooped on the potty today. He later tried to pee on the potty, but it was still in the sink after being washed out from the aforementioned pooping. He grabbed himself and walked quickly in the direction of where the potty should have been, but was not. He left a line of small puddles in his wake. But hey, I'll take what I can get (and I'll mop up what I can't).

His sisters are being wonderful about this. Girl2 informed me, "I'm excited to potty train him all by myself." They both sat there and read him books to keep him entertained on the potty. After he pooped, the sisters cheered for him. Girl2 gave him hand sanitizer (my son is strange. He LOVES hand sanitizer. He even created his own sign for it.). We all danced around the house together in a conga line singing, "You pooped on the potty," which was met with grins, laughter and giggles from sir poops-a-lot. When they cheered for him, he stomped and clapped too. Having twins is harrowing when you're trying to potty-train two toddlers at once (by yourself when your husband is deployed), but it's so worth it when they grow into not one, but TWO bigger kids who actually want to help and do so quite well.

I often say, "Your dignity is delivered with the placenta." I also think there's teeny tiny print somewhere in those adoption forms that also notes that your dignity will quietly slip away in the night. I'm often heard singing, "Where oh where has my dignity gone? Oh where oh where can it be?" I can tell ya one thing, it's nowhere near my house today. Even if I had any shred left, I'd gladly trade it if it meant no more diapers to buy/wash.

Thank G-d for the sane ones.

We have established that my family is nucking futs. This is not news. I've been aware of this fact pretty much from birth.

Sometimes, all the dysfunction sucks the energy right out of you. You just want to bury your head in the pillow and scream or better yet, shake the screw-up in question and scream directly at them...loudly....with speech full of expletives.

So, thank G-d, every once in a while, you get a little beacon of hope. On occasion, you're reminded that there are family members who posses both sanity and common freaking sense.

It gives you hope for humanity. Maybe tikkun olam is possible. Not everyone is cruel and idiotic. Some people are genuinely nice and smart and sweet. And you know what? They actually give a damn about others and live their lives to reflect that.

I was reminded today that I have someone like that. That helps pull me out of the funk that is my family drama and say, "Hey, we're not all certifiably insane." That gives me hope. It also makes me think, "There must be a G-d and He must like me. We've got a fairly normal one. That's a miracle if ever I saw it."

I love my family. Even if I don't agree with the decisions, I try to be there for them to the best of my ability. Knowing that there's a drama-free zone, though, is a lovely thing. Knowing that someone came out of this primordial ooze that is our family as a genuinely good person gives me hope.

An open letter to the medical community

Dear doctors/nurses/other medical professionals who really should know what you're talking about (because it's your job and because you have an ethical obligation to do so),

Please do your research. I realize you probably only had an hour or so on breastfeeding during your education. I know more and more studies are constantly being released that show the negative effects of not breastfeeding. I realize you have busy practices and busy private lives, but please, I beg of you; our children beg of you; my sister begs of you, please be informed. YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO BE INFORMED.

I am sick and tired of trying to help moms fix what misinformed doctors have screwed up. I've gathered information for a mom whose baby suffered through nipple confusion because the pediatrician refused to follow the AAP's standard treatment for newborn jaundice. I've counseled moms in tears because their sleepy babies weren't gaining weight. When I shared the information with them from recent studies about the effects of epidurals on newborns, several moms told me, "But the L&D nurses/OB told me it wouldn't effect the baby." I've had to bite my tongue so as to not rant and rave over a doctor who recommended unnecessary supplementation of an infant whose weight was nowhere near the threshold for recommending such action. The mom hoped to supplement for only a day. A month later, she was forced to continue giving formula as her supply was drying up as a result. The baby's already "not quite right" latch got much worse thanks to nipple preference from the supplemental bottles of formula. And yes, I admit that I too suffered through almost unbearable physical pain as a result of how our breastfeeding experience was mismanaged in the hospital when my girls were born. After that, I had a pediatrician whose first line of defense was to supplement. When I refused, she reluctantly agreed that I could try nursing more often. I did and at a weight check a week later, they gained substantially more than was expected.

My daughters' first year had far too many of those moments. Each time, I provided the doctors with stacks of research. Every single time, they handed them back immediately. The most they ever did was glance at the paperwork. Being ignorant is one thing. Willful ignorance, however, is disgusting and can be devastating.

I have a soft spot in my heart for those moms who get awful medical advice in part because I was one such mom. I also have a particular disdain for medical professionals who are not informed. That is their job. They have a responsibility to the mom and baby.

This rant is brought to you courtesy of my sister. She called me today from the doctor where she was being treated for an eye infection. The doctor informed her that she wouldn't be able to breastfeed while taking the Fluoroquinolone antibiotic eye drop he was prescribing for her. She called me while in the office to have me look it up in Hale's book to see what the alternatives were. I was floored when I saw it is an L2 which is "Moderately Safe." Ratings start at L1 and go up. To give you an idea of the ratings, Percoset, which is commonly prescribed for many nursing moms after birth is an L3. The eye drop he wanted to prescribe is listed by the American Academy of Pediatrics as "Maternal Medication Usually Compatible with Breastfeeding." Under "Pediatric Concerns," Hale notes, "None reported..."

Now, keep in mind, my sister has a family history of allergies to dairy and soy. Her daughter had severe allergies to both. So should my sister have decided to follow this doctor's advice and stop breastfeeding her infant son while on the medication, what on earth would she have fed the child? Why would she expose him to these potentially dangerous proteins when the drug is safe?

And this doctor she saw had never heard of Dr. Hale. Pardon me while I lift my jaw up off the floor. I have never known a doctor who wasn't familiar with the foremost authority on breastfeeding and medication. He, quite literally, wrote the book on it and he continues to do so. To not be familiar with Hale and continue to give erroneous information when such a wealth of the accurate variety is readily available is a violation of the hippocratic oath.

So, medical professionals, I beg of you to DO YOUR JOB. Be informed. Help your patients make accurate and informed decisions. I'm not asking you to develop any psychic abilities. I'm not asking you to take on the weight of the world. I'm simply asking that you make use of the tools that already exist for the taking. I'm asking you to do your job. Treat your patients. Don't spout misinformation and simply send them on their way. DO YOUR JOB!

People on this blog are much happier than they appear.

I know I tend to come across as quite the misanthrop on here. I swear that's not the case. To prove it, here's a list of things that make me happy.

1. Starbucks. More precisely, mocha frappacinos.

2. Kid giggles

3. Taking a break from my busy day to lie in bed and nurse the baby

4. animals. We came much too close to adopting another cat last weekend.

5. my pillow

6. music from the early 90s (think Liz Phair, Belly, the Breeders)

7. watching my kids work together

8. Chinese food

9. books, books and more books. To quote my sister, " If it has words and holds still long enough, I'll read it."

10. The designs here and here. No particular reason. I just like 'em.

11. the Internet

12. Old friends

13. cartwheels

14. Being in one of my moods. If said mood was induced by alcohol, this will most likely be combined with #13.

15. Blackberry Merlot

16. Someone who can finish your sentences and hear what you meant, not necessarily what you said.

17. When kids say/do things that may embarrass you at the time, but you crack up over later.

18. Photographs

19. Laughing. I don't care why I'm doing it, as long as I am.

20. Good company. Combine this one with #19 and I'm in heaven.

There ya go. That's my random feel-good post of the day/week/month.

I'm still here

Lots going on around these parts, but I haven't left you to fend for yourselves.

My parents are visiting. We're super busy. And then my sister went and had a baby. :-)

I have a new baby nephew and I'm so excited. The kids are too. They got to meet him. Well, the big kids did. The wee one got left behind to bond with the grandparents.

Oh, this should tell you a bit about my parents and why having them here is both lovely and stressful:

Earlier in the week, I had a meeting. My parents are staying at a hotel 20 minutes from my house. They planned on coming over before the meeting. THEY GOT LOST. They needed to make the first right out of their parking lot on to one highway. Then they needed to follow that one to just one other high way. It's super simple. They have made this drive before. I have lived in this exact same house for years. They. got. lost. WTF?

Not only did they get lost, they got lost the DAY AFTER I SHOWED THEM EXACTLY WHICH WAY THEY NEEDED TO GO. They got REALLY lost. They went in the opposite direction for about 1/2 an hour before they realized something was wrong. Get this--right way = amusment parks, churches, civilization; wrong way = wide open spaces and Indian reservations. HOW THE HELL DID THEY MANAGE TO GET LOST?

I almost missed the meeting and I spent lots of time shaking my head in disbelief and bitching to my sister (who had not yet had the baby).

Hey, I know I shouldn't bitch too much. They're sweet. They mean well. They try to help. And when all that fails, they provide fodder for the blog. :-)