Thank you, Sir, may I have another?

It just doesn't stop.

TheBoy was in fine form this morning. He's in this, "Mama do it," stage where he wants help from no one but me. That kind of sucks when I need to get stuff done. I asked the girls to help him and he threw a fit. When I tried to get him dressed, he hit me. Oh hell no! Completely unacceptable. He went into timeout and never stopped screaming.

After the gym, I was feeling much better. The kids, however, took a break from the bitchiness just long enough to stay at the nursery there, but then kicked back into brat-mode when I picked them up.

Long story, but we got back here only to find we needed to leave again. I was planning on staying in the rest of the day just catching up with the kids and giving the youngest of the brood a nap he obviously so desperately needs. Now I find we'll need to leave in order for everything to get done.

So I make plans with a friend, but when I tell the big kids where we're going, it's met with whining and complaining. "I doooooooooon't waaaaaaaaaaaaant to go there. Why can't we go to the poooooooooool?" Holy shit! Who are these kids because they're sure as hell not behaving like mine. My mantra is, "We don't get what we want when we whine." I'm pretty strict about that. So WTF is going on?

So I have to call to cancel which initiates this hugely dramatic scream-fest from Girl1. Dude, it's your fucking fault.

Let's not forget that our presence here means that things can't get done. That was the whole reason I even considered getting the hell out of dodge in the first place.

And the "fun" continues.

TheBoy scraches Girl2 in the face with sunglasses which initiates launch sequence for sobs.

Now the girls are trying to play with a game and TheBoy is objecting (loudly).

Holy shit! I need a fucking break and a drink. Send alcohol--copious amounts of alcohol, QUICKLY. Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaase. Pretty pretty pleeeeeaaaaaaase.

Two little words that can change your life.

Did you say, "Thank you," today?

I try to say it, but I realize I don't say it nearly enough. The next time someone thanks you, stop and think about what it really means. Don't think of it as a trite phrase, realize that it means someone has recognized you and they appreciate what you have done. When you realize that, maybe you'll use it more. Make sure you thank those around you. You never know what it might do for them. I can't find it now, but recently, I came across a postcard at Post Secret where someone admitted to wanting to kill him/herself, but nice strangers kept him/her from doing it. Someone else wrote in to say he/she was in the same situation.

To my husband who agreed to run around with us today even though he's sick, Thank you.

to the man who works the window at Starbucks even though he's deaf (he handles the face-to-face stuff at the window). Thank you for giving me the opportunity to show my children what people with disabilities CAN do. I hear so often, "He/she can't do that because he/she is disabled." It's wonderful to have a real-life example where I have the opportunity to show the kids that people have far more abilities than disabilities. Oh and thanks for signing with me (without laughing at my feeble attempt) even though I know my ASL skills are lacking.



Thank you to my big kids for all their help. Sometimes, I want to sell you on e-bay, but more often than not, I'm floored at how much you love each other and what you're willing to do to help out with your little brother.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU to my friends who were not only there for me when I needed it, but who even provided tchochkis great conversation and wine.

THANK YOU to 2 of the aforementioned friends who not only stepped up, but jumped at the chance to help when I had to go out of state for a funeral and dh couldn't get off work. We were frantic and had no clue what we were going to do, but two of my friends (including one who really didn't know me that well) watched the girls all day for 2 days. I will be forever in their debt. We have yet to come up with a proper way to thank them. If anyone has ideas, please let me know.

To that cashier at the store who let my daughters use the "Private. Employees Only" bathroom, thank you so very much.

To that teenage girl who raced after me in the mall in order to give me back my son's brand new and oh so adorable sweat shirt that had fallen, thank you. I hope I got across how much I appreciated it, but I'm afraid I didn't.

Thank you to a specific teacher friend who jumped at the chance to help me out with a reading question even though the two siblings I have who are teachers never responded.

Thank you to my niece who is absolutely wonderful and who is NOT insane. That's always a plus in our family even if it is rare.

To those who provide fodder for my funny bone as well as my deeper thoughts through their blogs, thank you. I'm constantly checking my Google Reader to see who has updated today. I admit that there are a specific few who always make my heart skip a beat when I see they've updated. Most of these people, I have never met, yet I eagerly follow along with their lives and their thoughts. Thank you for taking time from your day to blog. Whether your blog entry consists of a humorous account of those around you or an in-depth discussion of all things spiritual, I really do appreciate it. Sometimes, something you write inspires me to think differently or do something I never considered before. The fact that someone across the country or across the world can write something and create a change in me is astounding. Thank you.

To whomever created Frappaccinos, thank you.

To my sister and another friend who went above and beyond and took me to the amazing chocolate shoppe I've been wanting to try and then wouldn't let me pay for my order, thank you.

To my son who potty trained earlier than everyone insisted was possible, THANK YOU. Let me repeat that, THANK YOU.

Thank you so much to a friend's mother who, nearly a decade later, still raves about my wedding even when our own families hated it because it was so "different." And thank you to that friend for relaying that conversation.

Thank you to Kamrin for oh so much. From introducing me to the concept of simplifying, to always being there for others even when struggling through so much yourself, thank you.

I don't always appreciate the way my mother parented and I'm making different decisions for our family, but she was a strong female role model who helped shape my Feminist thinking. Thank you.

Thanks to my dad for being friends with everyone. Sure, sometimes it's embarassing when he insists on trying to speak what little bit of another language he knows (and loudly--oh so very loudly), but I think his openness and lack of fear towards others was a wonderful example for us to see growing up.

Thank you to the local radio station for offering free tickets to a kids' show and thank you to my husband for humoring me and calling on his cell phone even though I was already calling at the same time (I didn't win the tickets. He did).

I could do this forever, but instead, I'll end with a challenge. Make sure you thank at least one person every day--be truly thankful, don't just use the phrase in passing. Make a point of noticing when someone says, "Thank you," to you as well. Don't just brush it off. Realize that they're telling you how much they appreciate you.

That husband of mine is a good catch.

So, yeah, we have issues, but today, my husband scarfed down dinner quickly so that he could take the car--MY car to get the tire replaced. This is the same tire that I popped (don't ask because I'm not quite sure). This is AFTER he worked a full hectic day. This is AFTER I offered to go myself and he said, "No, you shouldn't have to sit there and wait with all the kids. I'll do it when I get home." This is AFTER he took the car somewhere else yesterday--a holiday, only to find they didn't have the tire we needed. This is AFTER he called around to find out who had it in stock.

When he came home, he came bearing alcohol for me. After the kids were in bed, out of nowhere, he came over and hugged me. He has not been the huggy type since before his last bout of PTSD.

He's trying. He's really trying.

Add that to the list of reasons I love my husband.

Bunnies, booze and sex

Kamrin left this wonderful comment:

"Bunnies are cute, but booze is better!"

Make sure we add, "Sex" to the list of things that inspire happiness.

Don't know if we're getting anywhere on the issue, but there was actually indoor sports being played in our room this morning. With 3 kids (including two who continue to get up loudly at the butt-crack of dawn), any action before 10 pm is a very rare occurrence.

Which is a shame 'cause it's one hell of a way to start your day. Plus it helps when dealing with the continuing lack of sleep. Once the kids are up at 2 or 4, even if they go back to sleep, I'm up for the day. I swear, I'm gonna stop taking Ambien and just give it to the freaking kids. It would probably work better that way.

But hey, I got no sleep, but I did get laid.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm pissed right now and I can't quite explain it. But you know what? I'm gonna try. This isn't for your benefit. It's more for mine. Although, please feel free to come along for the walk down WTF Lane.

While trying to get laundry washed and folded, my sister called. She's 9 months pregnant and her husband is being a pest. After I got off the phone with her, I called dh to rant about my BIL (Dude, she could have YOUR baby at any time. STFU and inflate the damn birth pool).

When I called, Dh was out with a bunch of people. I don't want to fault him for having a good time while he can, but DAMN IT, I'm jealous. I know I can kick into bitch mode pretty easily over stupid shit, so I tried to keep myself in check. When I had the chance to go away with friends, I went out and had fun too (although the only time I did that post kids was for a work function 3 years ago. Granted, it was with Kamrin, so it was cool as hell, but still, it was THREE YEARS AGO and it was for 2 days, not 20-some-odd days). Still, that's not dh's fault.

It is, however, his fault that he has had NINE FUCKING DRINKS. Dh very very VERY rarely drinks. He used to drink back in the day, but he hasn't had more than a few in about a decade. So this pisses me off on so many levels.

I was shaking when I got off the phone with him.

I don't know which part of the whole ordeal pisses me off the most.

#1. He had NINE FUCKING DRINKS when he hasn't had more than a few in ages. I don't mind drinking. Hell, I drink far more than he does. I'm mad that he had so many drinks all of a sudden. He's out of practice.

#2. He's doing this when I'm not around.
#2a. I'm not there. I know full-well that I don't need to be on patrol. He's a good guy. I don't have to worry about what he's gonna do, but still, I wanna be there anyway just 'cause I'm like that.
#2b. I'm not there. He even made the comment, "I'll do this now when I can and then I'll be back to my normal self when I come home." Why the hell does he have to be the straight-laced guy at home? Why can't we ever have a few drinks together when he's here?

#3. I'm stuck here trying to get all this house cleaning done, I haven't eaten dinner or lunch today because the kids didn't give me a chance, I'm trying to keep these kids alive, I'm scared about why MY FUCKING FACE, ARM, and TONGUE ARE NUMB and he's out drinking. WTF?

Let's review some important points: I have to wait 3 weeks for my appointment with a neurologist (which dh will NOT be here for). For those who don't know, we lost one of my brothers to brain cancer 5 years ago. No, I'm not trying to be dramatic. I don't think I have cancer. I am, however, TERRIFIED of WTF is going on. My body is out of control. My brain is doing strange things. I'm scared. And yes, I have explained that to dh. Until a few minutes ago (when I called my sister to rant), dh was the only person I told about how this scares me.

And my husband is out having 9 drinks.

WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK IS GOING ON?

You know what? I hope he wakes up with one hell of a hangover tomorrow and hopefully, when he does, he'll find some damn sense (hidden somewhere amid one bitch of a migraine).

Because I really need a positive spin right now...

we return to the Gratitude game.

I got the letter D.

1. Daughters: I adore my girls. I consider myself very lucky to have not only my girls, but kids of both sexes. I have friends who desperately wanted a child of one sex, but wound up with 3, 4, or even 5 of the opposite. I'm blessed to know both sides of the coin. Although, I consider the opportunity to raise girls to be a great one. Aside from the stereotypical cute girl stuff, I get the chance to teach our girls that they can make a difference in the world. Granted, I plan to teach our son the same thing, but it's a whole different ball game with girls. I have been given the huge responsibility and privilege of raising daughters in a way where they hopefully feel confident in their own skin and can excel in whatever they choose.

2. Diary: This thing helps me sort things out. It forces me to continue writing. It allows me to look back and see things in a different light.

3. Dance: It was my escape for so many years. It lead me to some of the most wonderful people in the world. I was raised believing that everyone is a dancer at heart. Then I met my husband who has no sense of rhythm. So now I can better appreciate all those long hours and hard work I put into dancing. The ability to do that really is extraordinary. I will never be able to explain how much magic dance brought into my life.

4. Darkroom: My grandfather was a photographer. He had very little formal education, but he taught himself so much about his photography. His pictures of family members are some of the only portraits we have. Without his pictures, I would never have known what many of them looked like. His touching candid portraits of my grandmother (for whom I'm named, but who died long before I was born) introduced me to her long after she was gone. We had the remnants of his darkroom in my basement when I was a child. When I was in high school, I set foot in a working darkroom for the first time and I was in love. Not only was I better able to realize a life-long passion (I got my first camera at 6-year-old and never looked back), but in that darkroom, I found a connection to that grandfather.

5. Deodorant: I work out for 2 hours every day. 'Nuff said. :-)

6. Dessert: Chocolate. :::drool::: Once again, 'nuff said.

7. Determination: I'm not the type who believes people when they tell me I can't do something. I'm stubborn as hell which can be a problem sometimes, but once I make up my mind about something, it's gonna happen. "Don't start with me. You will not win." That about sums it up. :-)

8. Dictonary: I was voted the top student in my AP English class by my peers. My award was a penny (long story) and the biggest dictionary I had ever seen. That award meant SO much to me. I still have the penny (framed) and I still have that dictionary.

9. Dreams: I'm thankful for dreams for two reasons. #1. You can always have a goal. XY and Z may be wrong with your life, but if you have a dream to become something, you have something to work for. You have a light at the end of the tunnel. #2. I'm a daydreamer, so I love flight of fancy dreams. While my body may actually be stuck in the car behind a long line of other cars moving at roughly 3 miles per hour, my mind could be wandering damn near anywhere and I assure you it's much warmer and picturesque there plus it smells a lot better too.

10. Drinks: of the alcoholic variety. Not only the drinks, but the friends with whom you go drinking. Don't worry, I'm responsible about it, but I just love having a drink (or an entire bottle of wine) with friends. It's so nice to get out with friends, have a few drinks and chat.

Friends + alcohol + boobs = fun

I have the best friends in the world.

Last night, for the first time in years, I had more than one drink. Actually, I had 3--two big-ass mixed drinks (which were probably the equivalent of 4 drinks) and then a glass of wine. I also had lots of great conversation and a friend who declared herself the designated driver. WOO HOO.

We hit one place and chatted while I drank (it's very strange to go out drinking when the person you're with isn't drinking. I was afraid of making an ass of myself). Then they closed and we went looking for somewhere else to frequent. We passed Hooters. I said, "I've never been to Hooters." She said, "I haven't either." Then we both said in unison, "Let's go to Hooters." And so we did.

Now, I don't do beer. I just can't stand the taste. And yeah, that's what Hooters is all about (well, other than the obvious). I felt like such a dork because I got a glass of white zinfandel. Although, I also got a plate of the hottest wings they have (and ate them happily. While good, they were far from too hot for me). So I guess that gives me back some cool points. :-)

I had a great time and while tired in the morning, I didn't have anything remotely resembling a hangover. Woo hoo!

So yay for friends, alcohol, hotwings, oh and breasts too. :-)