My mother misunderstands lots of things. High on her list are any sort of cliche or phrase. She mutilates them to the point where they are barely recognizable, but very funny.
You may "Kill two birds with one stone," but my mom does it "in one stone."
You may believe "Misery loves company," but my mom thinks, "Misery deserves company."
No amount of my reasoning or arguing will help admit that her versions MAKE NO FREAKING SENSE.
And so, she just keeps on keeping on with her ridiculous phrases.
When I saw the phrases mentioned here, I immediately thought of my mom.
She does use, "Kitten caboodle," "Taken for granite," and I swear the only reason she doesn't say, "Devil-make-hair," is because it has yet to dance across her mind. Give her a few years, though.