Wednesday, May 10, 2006

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year...Wish you were here.

I'm just floating here right now (not literally, although now THAT would be fun).

I don't have anything to do. I'm tired, but I want to put off going to bed as long as possible since I have to do so without dh. There's nothing on t.v. I want to watch. I'm not feeling particularly creative, so I have nothing to make. I'm just left hanging here not knowing what to do or where to go (although when you're the sole care-giver for 3 kids, there really aren't many destination options at this hour).

Haven't heard from dh. I desperately want to know where he is and what he's doing. I feel so far removed from his life when we get stuck in these no contact situations. You can prepare yourself (to some extend) for the physical distance, but it's this emotional distance that kills me. I can't e-mail him. I can't speak to him on the phone. I can't tell him about our day. I can't ask about his. On a particularly bad day, it's not all too uncommon to wonder if this elusive spouse even exists.

It hasn't been a horrid day nor has it been long at all since we last spoke. Don't worry. I'm not kicking into warp speed on my way to Freakoutville.

I'm not upset. I'm not worried. I'm just trying to figure out what to do with myself inside this abyss without my husband.

1 comment:

SLYM said...

What to do in the absence of the DH? COME TO CA!!!!!!! Please?>???