Breakdown

15 days

That's how long I lasted before my first breakdown.

The boy is teething something awful, so he hardly slept over the past few days. That, of course, means I get even less sleep than him.

It's been annoying, but not that bad. Then last night, he actually slept a decent span, so I did as well. I got about 5 consecutive hours of sleep which has been unheard of around here with the erupting of the teeth. That combined with the fact that those consecutive hours were the ONLY sleep I got left me feeling completely exhausted.

The boy woke up earlier than usual and refused to go back to sleep.

Then I changed a diaper and broke down.

The boy cried. I picked him up and he stopped. I put him back down to change him and he screamed again. I started changing his diaper and as part of Screamapalooza 2006, he slammed his feet into his dirty diaper.

Breakdown ensued. I finished changing him, grabbed him, and headed to the bedroom where I screamed and cried for a few minutes.

All I want is a few more hours of sleep, but no one will help me. I went through the mental list of friends praying I could find SOMEONE who would be willing/able to pop over to just watch my kids so I could go back to bed for a few more hours. This one is too busy. That one is too far away. Another one is too far away AND too busy. That one won't come.

I know I'm bad about asking for help, but at the same time, I know full-well that I'm not the only one in the world with problems. So I don't want to go asking people who I know are busy thereby making them feel guilty. It's not their fault they have their own lives/families/issues/etc. And no, for once, I'm NOT being sarcastic.

And now the baby's crying again. I'm SO FREAKING EXHAUSTED.