The other day, I heard proof that my middle daughter really is mine.
The three oldest were playing an aleph bet match card game. Little brother insisted on turning over all the cards to see where the letters were. This compelled his sister to tell him, "Stop that. That defeats the purpose of the game."
Oh yeah! She's mine.
Out of the mouths of babes... come the words of their parents.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
What do I do with this?
So, we have the triplet thing out there. Now what? What do I do with this? I'm not even talking about processing the whole thing emotionally. I'm talking about how I define myself now.
Am I a mom of triplets? Do I refer to myself as such? I will never know the ins and outs of daily life with triplets, so I don't feel right doing that. It's like the woman who says, "I breastfed my children and I never breastfed in public." Then you find out she breastfed 2 or 3 times in the hospital and that was the extent of her breastfeeding experience. You define your own success, but unless you live the realities of it, you don't really understand the situation.
For the same reason, I don't think it's fair to refer to myself as such. Yes, I carried triplets, but only one survived.
At the same time, I want to acknowledge the babies. This is really the only forum where I can talk about this and I want to claim them as my own. I wasn't able to give birth to them, but we created them and I carried them. I feel the need to acknowledge them.
Do I refer to myself as a MoM (mom of multiples)? I have twins who survived (B"H) and, for a brief moment, I had triplets. What notation do I include in that?
Anyone have any suggestions? I just want to find a way to acknowledge the babies without claiming to be something I'm not.
Am I a mom of triplets? Do I refer to myself as such? I will never know the ins and outs of daily life with triplets, so I don't feel right doing that. It's like the woman who says, "I breastfed my children and I never breastfed in public." Then you find out she breastfed 2 or 3 times in the hospital and that was the extent of her breastfeeding experience. You define your own success, but unless you live the realities of it, you don't really understand the situation.
For the same reason, I don't think it's fair to refer to myself as such. Yes, I carried triplets, but only one survived.
At the same time, I want to acknowledge the babies. This is really the only forum where I can talk about this and I want to claim them as my own. I wasn't able to give birth to them, but we created them and I carried them. I feel the need to acknowledge them.
Do I refer to myself as a MoM (mom of multiples)? I have twins who survived (B"H) and, for a brief moment, I had triplets. What notation do I include in that?
Anyone have any suggestions? I just want to find a way to acknowledge the babies without claiming to be something I'm not.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
We shove more things up our noses before 9 am than most people do all day.
Some pretty heavy posts on here as of late. I figured we could all use a break, so I'd like to direct your attention here:
Shove It Up Your...
Despite the suggestion of vulgarity, it's actually about my kids and the ER. That was while dh was deployed. Stuff like this ONLY happens when dh is deployed. The baby I refer to in that post is actually my preschool-age son. Wow! What a flashback!
I can laugh about this now. I can actually laugh pretty hard at this whole situation now--3 years later. Hopefully, you can too.
Shove It Up Your...
Despite the suggestion of vulgarity, it's actually about my kids and the ER. That was while dh was deployed. Stuff like this ONLY happens when dh is deployed. The baby I refer to in that post is actually my preschool-age son. Wow! What a flashback!
I can laugh about this now. I can actually laugh pretty hard at this whole situation now--3 years later. Hopefully, you can too.
Did you know: Disposable Diapers
I found out about this when my twins were babies and I've realized that many are not aware of this little bit of information. So I'll share.
Did you know that if you use disposable diapers and have a problem (leaking, tabs breaking, etc), you can call the number on the package and get either a free package or a check (depending on the brand)?
Keep the package until all the diapers/training pants are done because if you have a problem, you'll need the phone number and the identifying numbers from the package.
It's usually a very quick call. They take your information, ask about the problem and then issue compensation of some form.
When my daughters were smaller, it was a much more detailed call. The phone reps asked the weight of the child, where the problem was specifically(if it leaked from the leg, the back, etc), if you had any suspicions about what caused the problem, etc. Lately, though, they just take your information, apologize and send either a free pack or a check.
We use cloth most of the time, but we use disposables at night and on some rare occasions. Plus TheBoy sleeps in disposable training pants at night. Usually, there are no problems, but when there are, we know what to do.
Did you know that if you use disposable diapers and have a problem (leaking, tabs breaking, etc), you can call the number on the package and get either a free package or a check (depending on the brand)?
Keep the package until all the diapers/training pants are done because if you have a problem, you'll need the phone number and the identifying numbers from the package.
It's usually a very quick call. They take your information, ask about the problem and then issue compensation of some form.
When my daughters were smaller, it was a much more detailed call. The phone reps asked the weight of the child, where the problem was specifically(if it leaked from the leg, the back, etc), if you had any suspicions about what caused the problem, etc. Lately, though, they just take your information, apologize and send either a free pack or a check.
We use cloth most of the time, but we use disposables at night and on some rare occasions. Plus TheBoy sleeps in disposable training pants at night. Usually, there are no problems, but when there are, we know what to do.
“We can survive functional illiteracy or shattered windows of vulnerability, but not the demise of The Decent Cup of Tea”
There's a military-related topic I've always wanted to blog about, but never have. Honestly, I have no idea why. So I'll do that now.
I don't think civilians have any idea how vulnerable military wives are when their husbands are away. We often have no family in the area and our husbands are gone for long stretches at a time.
When we had an exterminator come to our house during dh's first desert deployment, the exterminator looked at the photos on the walls and commented on dh being in the military. For a brief moment, I was terrified. Here's this stranger in my house and I'm one step away from letting him know I've been alone for months and will continue to be. I choose my words carefully and, while not outright lying, didn't mention the deployment and made it sound as though he was working at the local military instillation rather than carrying a full load of armor and guns in the desert.
I was sensitive to any sign that we were a military family. Anyone with even the slightest amount of common sense could put two and two together and figure out that we were defenseless and alone and would remain so for a long time.
Now, I'm a feminist. I don't need a man to take care of me. Still, when your husband is across the world, particularly when your husband is across the world and you have small children, you're left feeling very vulnerable.
I know many mothers teach their children to call 9-1-1, but there was an urgency and vulnerability to making sure my daughters knew how to call for help. Should something happen to me, the only way the world would know is if a set of toddlers could call for help.
When I went into the attic, I had to call my sister beforehand to let her know and instruct her, "If you don't hear back from me in 15 minutes, call to check on me." I sometimes wondered, if I got hurt, how long it would be until someone even noticed much less sent help. With three small children (at the time), that was far more frightening.
Another thing that leaves you feeling vulnerable is that you can't do anything for your husband. I recognized the signs of PTSD pretty early on in his last deployment, but there was nothing I could do. I tried every option I had, but in the military, there's a fine line between getting help and getting the spouse in trouble. Plus, even all these years later, PTSD still isn't taken seriously. I cannot tell you how many times I was asked how long we had been having marital problems during that whole ordeal. We weren't. It was the deployment that was causing problems. I can fix damn near anything, but when the higher ups choose to believe you're just a silly little dramatic wife, there's nothing you can do. You're a world away and completely helpless while you recognize the signs that your husband is morphing into someone very different. There's nothing you can do. Well, you can scream and cry, but you and your husband both are vulnerable to the system.
People have their own ideas about what it's like to be a military family. There's quite a bit of coverage on the news and in articles. Yet, I've never read anyone even touch on that vulnerability and that can be a very big part of the experience in oh so many ways.
I don't think civilians have any idea how vulnerable military wives are when their husbands are away. We often have no family in the area and our husbands are gone for long stretches at a time.
When we had an exterminator come to our house during dh's first desert deployment, the exterminator looked at the photos on the walls and commented on dh being in the military. For a brief moment, I was terrified. Here's this stranger in my house and I'm one step away from letting him know I've been alone for months and will continue to be. I choose my words carefully and, while not outright lying, didn't mention the deployment and made it sound as though he was working at the local military instillation rather than carrying a full load of armor and guns in the desert.
I was sensitive to any sign that we were a military family. Anyone with even the slightest amount of common sense could put two and two together and figure out that we were defenseless and alone and would remain so for a long time.
Now, I'm a feminist. I don't need a man to take care of me. Still, when your husband is across the world, particularly when your husband is across the world and you have small children, you're left feeling very vulnerable.
I know many mothers teach their children to call 9-1-1, but there was an urgency and vulnerability to making sure my daughters knew how to call for help. Should something happen to me, the only way the world would know is if a set of toddlers could call for help.
When I went into the attic, I had to call my sister beforehand to let her know and instruct her, "If you don't hear back from me in 15 minutes, call to check on me." I sometimes wondered, if I got hurt, how long it would be until someone even noticed much less sent help. With three small children (at the time), that was far more frightening.
Another thing that leaves you feeling vulnerable is that you can't do anything for your husband. I recognized the signs of PTSD pretty early on in his last deployment, but there was nothing I could do. I tried every option I had, but in the military, there's a fine line between getting help and getting the spouse in trouble. Plus, even all these years later, PTSD still isn't taken seriously. I cannot tell you how many times I was asked how long we had been having marital problems during that whole ordeal. We weren't. It was the deployment that was causing problems. I can fix damn near anything, but when the higher ups choose to believe you're just a silly little dramatic wife, there's nothing you can do. You're a world away and completely helpless while you recognize the signs that your husband is morphing into someone very different. There's nothing you can do. Well, you can scream and cry, but you and your husband both are vulnerable to the system.
People have their own ideas about what it's like to be a military family. There's quite a bit of coverage on the news and in articles. Yet, I've never read anyone even touch on that vulnerability and that can be a very big part of the experience in oh so many ways.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
On a quest for the perfect swaddle blanket
I'm on a mission, not from G-d, but an important one none-the-less.
TheBaby sleeps fabulously when she's swaddled. The problem is that, from a very early age, she channeled Houdini and got out of the blanket. So we bought the small cotton Kiddopotamus Swaddle Me wrap at Toys R Us. That worked well until fairly recently.
Now, TheBaby is too tall and her legs get cramped. She has also rediscovered her inner Houdini and can get her arms out no matter how tightly she's wrapped.
When she's swaddled, she sleeps through the night. When she's not, she's up every hour. You see why I NEED A FREAKING SWADDLE BLANKET.
Someone suggested the Miracle Blanket. Does anyone else have any suggestions? I'm open to any and all ideas right now.
TheBaby sleeps fabulously when she's swaddled. The problem is that, from a very early age, she channeled Houdini and got out of the blanket. So we bought the small cotton Kiddopotamus Swaddle Me wrap at Toys R Us. That worked well until fairly recently.
Now, TheBaby is too tall and her legs get cramped. She has also rediscovered her inner Houdini and can get her arms out no matter how tightly she's wrapped.
When she's swaddled, she sleeps through the night. When she's not, she's up every hour. You see why I NEED A FREAKING SWADDLE BLANKET.
Someone suggested the Miracle Blanket. Does anyone else have any suggestions? I'm open to any and all ideas right now.
3 It's the Magic Number. Then Again, Maybe Not
I've taken some time to process some information and I still don't know what to do with it. For the most part, we have decided not to share this with people we know IRL. I don't know why. I'm just not comfortable talking about this with most people I know in the real world (as opposed to my imaginary friends in the computer). I'm going to post about it, though, because I need to talk myself through this.
You remember my youngest daughter? She's the oh so adorable infant who came into this world in the most amazing fashion at home and completely changed our world. Remember her? Well, we found out that she was not a singleton.
She was a triplet. The other two, however, didn't make it past the first trimester.
Early on, I wondered. In the early days, this last pregnancy felt very similar to my twin pregnancy, only moreso. I was far more exhausted and nauseated than I was even with twins. Since I was so tired and sick, we put off getting an ultrasound until later than usual. We saw one baby on the ultrasound and breathed a sigh of relief. Now, though, we realize they were already gone by then.
When TheBaby was born, there was evidence of the other two. G-d bless the midwife, though, she didn't explain the signifigance of it. I had my suspicions (as dh later admitted as well), but I'm glad to have avoided the weight of that when I was busy cuddling a tiny newborn. Our amazing homebirth wasn't tainted by the knowledge of what we lost.
A few weeks ago, I asked the midwife about it. I expected her to tell me we were reading too much into it and that these things weren't an indication of other babies at all. Instead, she said, "Yeah, that's the only reason that would happen."
I had triplets. Well, I "had" them in the sense that, for a brief period, I carried them. I didn't actually give birth to them. I need to be able to own that. I need to be able to acknowledge that they were there. I can't do that much in real life.
I still don't know how to think or feel.
I know we never would have had the birth we did if I had given birth to triplets. TheBaby's birth was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. For the first time, I was able to give birth to a child in a way that did NOT put the baby or me at risk. The birth completely changed my world.
Could my body have carried triplets to term? All signs point to, "No." My daughters' prematurity was a result of my body's inability to provide for them. I never went into labor. They were cut out because I developed pre-eclampsia and my body put them at risk. Yes, midwifery care prevented the problem in later pregnancies, but my midwives couldn't have taken me on. A triplet pregnancy after 2 c-sections would have ruled out a homebirth and would have limitted the pre-natal care my midwives could have provided.
For oh so many reasons, having three babies would have been devestating.
I know full-well that this was for the best.
Still, we had triplets. For a little while, I carried two babies that we'll never know.
I'm torn between the logical and the emotional. I don't regret how things worked out. My daughter is a blessing. Her birth was a blessing. Still, I wonder.
You remember my youngest daughter? She's the oh so adorable infant who came into this world in the most amazing fashion at home and completely changed our world. Remember her? Well, we found out that she was not a singleton.
She was a triplet. The other two, however, didn't make it past the first trimester.
Early on, I wondered. In the early days, this last pregnancy felt very similar to my twin pregnancy, only moreso. I was far more exhausted and nauseated than I was even with twins. Since I was so tired and sick, we put off getting an ultrasound until later than usual. We saw one baby on the ultrasound and breathed a sigh of relief. Now, though, we realize they were already gone by then.
When TheBaby was born, there was evidence of the other two. G-d bless the midwife, though, she didn't explain the signifigance of it. I had my suspicions (as dh later admitted as well), but I'm glad to have avoided the weight of that when I was busy cuddling a tiny newborn. Our amazing homebirth wasn't tainted by the knowledge of what we lost.
A few weeks ago, I asked the midwife about it. I expected her to tell me we were reading too much into it and that these things weren't an indication of other babies at all. Instead, she said, "Yeah, that's the only reason that would happen."
I had triplets. Well, I "had" them in the sense that, for a brief period, I carried them. I didn't actually give birth to them. I need to be able to own that. I need to be able to acknowledge that they were there. I can't do that much in real life.
I still don't know how to think or feel.
I know we never would have had the birth we did if I had given birth to triplets. TheBaby's birth was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. For the first time, I was able to give birth to a child in a way that did NOT put the baby or me at risk. The birth completely changed my world.
Could my body have carried triplets to term? All signs point to, "No." My daughters' prematurity was a result of my body's inability to provide for them. I never went into labor. They were cut out because I developed pre-eclampsia and my body put them at risk. Yes, midwifery care prevented the problem in later pregnancies, but my midwives couldn't have taken me on. A triplet pregnancy after 2 c-sections would have ruled out a homebirth and would have limitted the pre-natal care my midwives could have provided.
For oh so many reasons, having three babies would have been devestating.
I know full-well that this was for the best.
Still, we had triplets. For a little while, I carried two babies that we'll never know.
I'm torn between the logical and the emotional. I don't regret how things worked out. My daughter is a blessing. Her birth was a blessing. Still, I wonder.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Leg Huggers Review
I was recently (okay, not so recently, but having a newborn makes getting a quick turn-around difficult) given the opportunity to review Leg Huggers.
Leg warmers like these are popular lately for good reason.
- Protect crawling toddler's knees.
Before TheBoy started walking, his knees used to be absolutely filthy after he spent time in the gym nursery.
- Great for Elimination Communication
A friend of mine who does EC pretty much only puts her baby in leg warmers, no pants because it makes it so much easier.
- They make potty training easier and more comfortable for everyone.
- Inexpensive way to help extend the life of certain clothes
- Great alternative to tights.
- Make great dress-up clothing
I got a chance to try the Leopard Pink print. Now, I must say, when I saw these online, I didn't think I liked the patterns. After seeing these super cute ones in person, though, I realize the pictures on the website simply don't do the prints justice. The print looks much cuter than it appears on the official site. The colors really pop.
These are made of bamboo which thrilled my little heart. The more I hear about bamboo, the more I love it. Bamboo can grow 15 feet in 7 days, so it's a sustainable resource. It's more absorbent than cotton (the cloth diaper community is raving about how much better bamboo is than cotton for absorbency). It's anti-bacterial. It provides protection from UV rays. Bamboo really does seem to be ideal for children's clothing.
I wondered how they would hold up after wear and washing. My kids did an awful lot of stretching, but these came through the wash looking brand new.
I compared these to a no-name brand of leg warmers I have and these were a bit bigger and MUCH softer. When compared to a major name pair of leg warmers, these were the same size and a bit softer, but these Leg Huggers kept the kids far more comfortable. The kids' legs quickly got over-heated with the major name alternative.
These aren't just for babies. I actually found these to be too big for my newborn, but my bigger kids loved them. My son is 38 inches tall and 30 lbs. My older daughters are 47-48 inches tall and 45-50 lbs. These worked great for all of them.
Here's a rumpled-looking Girl1 (the bigger of the two) wearing them with shorts.
Here, you can see TheBoy wearing one with shorts.
I really wish they had some more traditional boy patterns, but he really didn't care about that. He loved these just as much as his sisters.Leg Huggers is a part of the Free Hugs Movement. "Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives. In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal."
If you're on Facebook, you can become of fan of Leg Hugger's page where you can find news, deals and discounts.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Chick's Chat & I Laugh
I don't know how I missed this, but since I finally found it, I must share it with you.
Stesha (@iamstesha) is is one of the blogging moms I've found via twitter. At that time I "met" her, we were both pregnant. She was expecting twins. I was waiting for my singleton. Through twitter, I found her blog (Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha) which is hysterical.
Somehow, I missed this video entry from April. I found it today and I love it. First off, she looks fabulous. She had twins, people. Secondly, I love what she has to say and I adore her closing.
Go watch her video. It's quick and it will make you laugh.
Stesha (@iamstesha) is is one of the blogging moms I've found via twitter. At that time I "met" her, we were both pregnant. She was expecting twins. I was waiting for my singleton. Through twitter, I found her blog (Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha) which is hysterical.
Somehow, I missed this video entry from April. I found it today and I love it. First off, she looks fabulous. She had twins, people. Secondly, I love what she has to say and I adore her closing.
Go watch her video. It's quick and it will make you laugh.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Life, Death and Nourishment
Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding readers!
Make sure you take wander through the links to other carnival participants.
August 8 2009 edit: This post is being entered in the Breastfeeding Awareness Mommy Moment Contest.
Make sure you take wander through the links to other carnival participants.
August 8 2009 edit: This post is being entered in the Breastfeeding Awareness Mommy Moment Contest.
I've mentioned this experience in an earlier post and I considered mentioning this in the recent discussion about unexpected benefits of breastfeeding, but I thought this would be best explained in a post all its own.
On the first anniversary of my brother's death, I nursed my daughter while praying and I will be eternally grateful for that experience.
My brother was given six months to live. He never made it that far. Cancer stole him from us the day we found out we were pregnant with twins.
In the Jewish tradition, you recite the Mourner's Kaddish on the anniversary of the death of a loved one (the yarzeit). This, however, can only be done with a minyan. You cannot stay home to pray. Kaddish must be said within a community of Jews.
So, I struggled to sit through services with two tiny babies, but without my husband (the military sent him away for training). Just before Kaddish was said, Girl1 got fussy. My initial reaction was, "Why now of all times?" I was annoyed, sad and overwhelmed, but my baby needed me. She helped pull me out of my misery and forced me to focus not only on what I lost, but on the remaining blessings I held in my hands, literally and figuratively. When it was time to stand for Kaddish, she was still nursing. I stood, clutching my daughter, and prayed.
While reciting those words for my brother, I stared into that tiny face of the child he never even knew existed. He was gone. Nothing could change that. Yet, while mourning that loss, I was effortlessly nourishing this new soul. It was such a simple moment, yet so profound. I was reminded that the world continued. Yes, there was death and destruction to be feared, but there was also love, beauty, and sacred simplicity to be cherished.
Breastfeeding does so much more than simply nourish my child. In that moment (and in others since then), breastfeeding fed my soul.
####
For other great breastfeeding stories, visit these other Carnival of Breastfeeding Participants:
Hannah's Weaning at Strocel.com
Weaning a Toddler from Laura's Blog
How Breastfeeding Changed My Life at a Mother's Boutique
Sticking With It: Our Breastfeeding Story at So Fawned
Breastfeeding Failures and Success from Grudgemom
Flying Breastmilk at And All The Sazz
Baby Carriers Down Under by Kandy
Ben’s story: The best breastfeeding advice, from the least likely source at the Massachusetts Friends of Midwives
The “I Told You So” at Blisstree.com
Breastfeeding is not easy, but it's definitely best for baby at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom
Story week post #1: "They said the latch was fine." at the Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog
Breastfeeding Made Me The Mother I Am at Breastfeeding Mums Blog
Can Early Public Breastfeeding Sightings Shape One’s Future Breastfeeding Practices? Breastfeeding Moms Unite
Celebrating my...chest! Zen_mommy
A Found Memory by Crystal Gold
How Breastfeeding Saved My Life
No, it's not what you think.
Last night, my house may very well have burned down, but breastfeeding saved us all. Feel free to laugh at my expense and/or stand in awe of the power of breastfeeding.
TheBaby absolutely refused to wake up to nurse when I went to bed. I tried to sleep, but was too engorged. I grumbled a whole host of expletives while I hauled my tired butt out of bed to go get the pump. I had to go through the kitchen to get it. When I did, there sat our cheapy coffeemaker staring at me with one bright red eye.
Our cheapy coffee maker is not nealry sophisticated enough to have an auto off feature. It's also very different from it's more expensive counterparts in that, when left on, it does not continue to brew the coffee, it just burns. If left long enough, it has the potential to ignite. That single red eye, yeah, that was the "on" button.
I set it up to brew before I went to bed with plans of turning it off before I did. Unfortunatley, I forgot all about it. It had been on for over an hour by that point. If not for the necessity of pumping, the whole house could have burned down as a result of my need for caffeinated goodness in the early morning hours.
Now there's a benefit of breastfeeding I'll bet you never read about in text books.
Anyone else out there have any other "off label" benefits you've found to breastfeeding?
Last night, my house may very well have burned down, but breastfeeding saved us all. Feel free to laugh at my expense and/or stand in awe of the power of breastfeeding.
TheBaby absolutely refused to wake up to nurse when I went to bed. I tried to sleep, but was too engorged. I grumbled a whole host of expletives while I hauled my tired butt out of bed to go get the pump. I had to go through the kitchen to get it. When I did, there sat our cheapy coffeemaker staring at me with one bright red eye.
Our cheapy coffee maker is not nealry sophisticated enough to have an auto off feature. It's also very different from it's more expensive counterparts in that, when left on, it does not continue to brew the coffee, it just burns. If left long enough, it has the potential to ignite. That single red eye, yeah, that was the "on" button.
I set it up to brew before I went to bed with plans of turning it off before I did. Unfortunatley, I forgot all about it. It had been on for over an hour by that point. If not for the necessity of pumping, the whole house could have burned down as a result of my need for caffeinated goodness in the early morning hours.
Now there's a benefit of breastfeeding I'll bet you never read about in text books.
Anyone else out there have any other "off label" benefits you've found to breastfeeding?
Robots and toddlers and phone calls, oh my!
I must direct your attention to this blog entry because I have lived the exact same situation far too often myself (although, mine usually involves cursing).
Screw you, robot. Don’t you speak frazzled mother and toddler?
Oh, how I know that feeling! If you need a quick laugh (and to be reassured that you are not alone if you've ever been on the phone with a robot at the very same time a toddler demands your attention), head over there.
Screw you, robot. Don’t you speak frazzled mother and toddler?
Oh, how I know that feeling! If you need a quick laugh (and to be reassured that you are not alone if you've ever been on the phone with a robot at the very same time a toddler demands your attention), head over there.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday meme
My creativity is apparently on a long vacation. Unfortunately, we are not. I actually have a great product review to share, but every time I feel compelled to write it, someone cries or falls or needs something washed.
So, instead, I'm going to do a meme. I found this one here.
1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?
Here's the entry which inspired the title: Notes From A Former Military Wife.
In While They're At War, Kristin Henderson writes about returning to civilian life after the military,
"And then one day, you go back to Earth, maybe just for a visit, maybe for good, and as you step off the spaceship, all around you in the spaceport, you hear a Babel of voices, over the loudspeaker, passing you in the concourse, speaking in some strange foreign tongue, and all of a sudden, it hits you – that’s the language you grew up speaking. In conversations, you sometimes find yourself searching for a word, a word you should know. Sometimes, you dream in Martian. Your time on Mars has gifted you with a new way of speaking, a new way of looking at the world. And it has robbed you of the easy comfort you once felt in your mother tongue.” pg 131
2. What are your general goals for blogging?
Initially, I wrote to give people a fuller picture of what military life was really like. There was so much coverage of the goings to and coming from "War," but nothing that showed the horror and everyday issues that happen during deployment and after.
Now, even though dh is no longer active duty, I blog for the same reason. Although, I think my focus more recently has been on religion--teaching and learning.
My main goals are probably to connect with other bloggers and learn from them.
3. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous? How often do you post (x per week)?
Only a handful of people I know IRL are aware of this blog. I try to be as anonymous as I can be. My posting varies, but lately, it's 3-5 times per week.
4. How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?
Oh my word! I'm always reading other blogs. I have hundreds on my Google Reader, but lately, I have fallen WAY behind with those. I used to clear out my reader every day. Now, though, I rely more on twitter to stay connected to a few specific bloggers. I still check their blogs regularly, though.
5. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone?
Often, I find a focus with which I connect (breastfeeding, birth, Judaism, multiples, etc), but there are a few I follow simply because I love the writer's style.
6. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, 0r do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?
Haven't given this much thought. I wouldn't delete them, but I have no plans to bind them all together in a coffee table book.
7. What are the things you like best about blogging?
I love all the new people I've been able to "meet" through blogging. I also enjoy having a place in which to publish all the stories my children will probably hate me for sharing in 10 years or so.
8. What are the things you don’t like about blogging?
The fact that I have to try to stay anonymous. The internet seems to suck the empathy/sympathy/common sense from some folks. I would love to be able to share more details without the fear of someone being a PITA about it.
9. How do you handle comments?
I don't quite understand what the question is asking.
For negative comments, I prefer not to censor. I leave them here and take part in the discussion. I don't think I've ever removed a comment.
When someone new comments here, I try to repay the favor, but especially lately, I haven't been able to do that. That's a shame because I've found some wonderful blogs through comments left on here.
10. Do you have any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette?
Common sense, people. The use of common sense makes the blogging experience so much better.
11. Any desired blog features?
I could probably create a list that would go on forever, but I won't.
12. Have you suffered blog addiction?
Yes.
(slides chair aside and stands up) Hi. I'm Reiza and I'm addicted to far too many blogs.
FTR, Twitter just makes it worse. It's a gateway drug. I've found so many more blogs since I started on twitter, but since I'm on twitter, I don't have time to read as many blogs. AHHHHH, vicious circle!
So, instead, I'm going to do a meme. I found this one here.
1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?
Here's the entry which inspired the title: Notes From A Former Military Wife.
In While They're At War, Kristin Henderson writes about returning to civilian life after the military,
"And then one day, you go back to Earth, maybe just for a visit, maybe for good, and as you step off the spaceship, all around you in the spaceport, you hear a Babel of voices, over the loudspeaker, passing you in the concourse, speaking in some strange foreign tongue, and all of a sudden, it hits you – that’s the language you grew up speaking. In conversations, you sometimes find yourself searching for a word, a word you should know. Sometimes, you dream in Martian. Your time on Mars has gifted you with a new way of speaking, a new way of looking at the world. And it has robbed you of the easy comfort you once felt in your mother tongue.” pg 131
2. What are your general goals for blogging?
Initially, I wrote to give people a fuller picture of what military life was really like. There was so much coverage of the goings to and coming from "War," but nothing that showed the horror and everyday issues that happen during deployment and after.
Now, even though dh is no longer active duty, I blog for the same reason. Although, I think my focus more recently has been on religion--teaching and learning.
My main goals are probably to connect with other bloggers and learn from them.
3. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous? How often do you post (x per week)?
Only a handful of people I know IRL are aware of this blog. I try to be as anonymous as I can be. My posting varies, but lately, it's 3-5 times per week.
4. How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?
Oh my word! I'm always reading other blogs. I have hundreds on my Google Reader, but lately, I have fallen WAY behind with those. I used to clear out my reader every day. Now, though, I rely more on twitter to stay connected to a few specific bloggers. I still check their blogs regularly, though.
5. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone?
Often, I find a focus with which I connect (breastfeeding, birth, Judaism, multiples, etc), but there are a few I follow simply because I love the writer's style.
6. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, 0r do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?
Haven't given this much thought. I wouldn't delete them, but I have no plans to bind them all together in a coffee table book.
7. What are the things you like best about blogging?
I love all the new people I've been able to "meet" through blogging. I also enjoy having a place in which to publish all the stories my children will probably hate me for sharing in 10 years or so.
8. What are the things you don’t like about blogging?
The fact that I have to try to stay anonymous. The internet seems to suck the empathy/sympathy/common sense from some folks. I would love to be able to share more details without the fear of someone being a PITA about it.
9. How do you handle comments?
I don't quite understand what the question is asking.
For negative comments, I prefer not to censor. I leave them here and take part in the discussion. I don't think I've ever removed a comment.
When someone new comments here, I try to repay the favor, but especially lately, I haven't been able to do that. That's a shame because I've found some wonderful blogs through comments left on here.
10. Do you have any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette?
Common sense, people. The use of common sense makes the blogging experience so much better.
11. Any desired blog features?
I could probably create a list that would go on forever, but I won't.
12. Have you suffered blog addiction?
Yes.
(slides chair aside and stands up) Hi. I'm Reiza and I'm addicted to far too many blogs.
FTR, Twitter just makes it worse. It's a gateway drug. I've found so many more blogs since I started on twitter, but since I'm on twitter, I don't have time to read as many blogs. AHHHHH, vicious circle!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The dictionary of a 3-year-old
My son has given me his own definition for the word "Dizzy." I find it brilliant and funny. You may not agree, but it's my blog, so :-p to you.
Dizzy:
diz-zy [diz-ee]
-adjective
"I spin and spin and spin and then I stop and the room keeps spinning."
Dizzy:
diz-zy [diz-ee]
-adjective
"I spin and spin and spin and then I stop and the room keeps spinning."
Monday, May 11, 2009
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
I love twitter. I just asked there for tips on dealing with a situation we're having with family and someone there helped get to the bigger issue. Of course, I still don't know how to deal with the smaller symptom of the bigger issue. I'm open to any advice.
I need tips on dealing with my father-in-law. He seems bothered by the fact that we keep kosher. My mother-in-law actually called the Pesach restrictions, "Stupid," in front of my kids during Passover, but my father-in-law is more vocal and persistent about his distaste for keeping kosher. Yes, we do, but no, we don't beat anyone over the head about it. We've never asked my in-laws to do the same. The only thing we've ever asked is that they not bring treif in our house. We never discussed keeping kosher with them, but my FIL feels compelled to bring it up.
He often feels compelled to tell us, "You know, those rules only exist because pork wasn't safe to eat back then." This last time, he added, "If I told you not to eat something, you'd tell me to go to hell,' but if I say, 'G-d says you shouldn't eat something,' you do it." I replied, "Actually, no. You tell me G-d told me not to do it and I'm going to read up and consult with others who are more educated on the topic than me before I make a decision." Well, I started to say that, but he cut me off and talked over me.
When I asked for advice on twitter, someone suggested not discussing it and showing respect. My first reaction was to be slightly offended. "But we TRY to show respect. We don't want to discuss it. My FIL just won't stop." Then it occurred to me that we do show respect, but my in-laws often don't. Oh, the stories I could tell you. There have been SO many times when they have done rude things and we just quietly let it go rather than creating a scene. When it's necessary, we speak up, but for smaller things, we try to be respectful and let it go. Unfortunately, that respect is not mutual. From what I've been told (by dh AND his parents), that lack of respect has always existed.
How do you deal with a situation where there's no respect for your family? We've tried having discussions with them. We've tried asking politely. We've tried getting the point across jokingly. We've tried ignoring it (which isn't really an option once you have children who can understand). There was one point where, at a family seder (before we had kids), I got up and left the table (they were making racist jokes AGAIN and I absolutely refused to sit there through it). I much prefer to deal with things less dramatically, though.
We're in an even rougher position because of my FIL's health issues. I can't stand to deal with the lack of respect, but at the same time, I'm now reluctant to get into anything because we never know when it could be the last time we see my FIL.
Luckily, they don't live nearby, so we haven't had to deal with this often. Still, I'm open to ideas and suggestions. How do we deal with this in general? Any tips on what to say to make my FIL stop voicing his distaste for keeping kosher? I'd also appreciate any tips on what to say to stop them from saying rude things in general in front of our children.
I need tips on dealing with my father-in-law. He seems bothered by the fact that we keep kosher. My mother-in-law actually called the Pesach restrictions, "Stupid," in front of my kids during Passover, but my father-in-law is more vocal and persistent about his distaste for keeping kosher. Yes, we do, but no, we don't beat anyone over the head about it. We've never asked my in-laws to do the same. The only thing we've ever asked is that they not bring treif in our house. We never discussed keeping kosher with them, but my FIL feels compelled to bring it up.
He often feels compelled to tell us, "You know, those rules only exist because pork wasn't safe to eat back then." This last time, he added, "If I told you not to eat something, you'd tell me to go to hell,' but if I say, 'G-d says you shouldn't eat something,' you do it." I replied, "Actually, no. You tell me G-d told me not to do it and I'm going to read up and consult with others who are more educated on the topic than me before I make a decision." Well, I started to say that, but he cut me off and talked over me.
When I asked for advice on twitter, someone suggested not discussing it and showing respect. My first reaction was to be slightly offended. "But we TRY to show respect. We don't want to discuss it. My FIL just won't stop." Then it occurred to me that we do show respect, but my in-laws often don't. Oh, the stories I could tell you. There have been SO many times when they have done rude things and we just quietly let it go rather than creating a scene. When it's necessary, we speak up, but for smaller things, we try to be respectful and let it go. Unfortunately, that respect is not mutual. From what I've been told (by dh AND his parents), that lack of respect has always existed.
How do you deal with a situation where there's no respect for your family? We've tried having discussions with them. We've tried asking politely. We've tried getting the point across jokingly. We've tried ignoring it (which isn't really an option once you have children who can understand). There was one point where, at a family seder (before we had kids), I got up and left the table (they were making racist jokes AGAIN and I absolutely refused to sit there through it). I much prefer to deal with things less dramatically, though.
We're in an even rougher position because of my FIL's health issues. I can't stand to deal with the lack of respect, but at the same time, I'm now reluctant to get into anything because we never know when it could be the last time we see my FIL.
Luckily, they don't live nearby, so we haven't had to deal with this often. Still, I'm open to ideas and suggestions. How do we deal with this in general? Any tips on what to say to make my FIL stop voicing his distaste for keeping kosher? I'd also appreciate any tips on what to say to stop them from saying rude things in general in front of our children.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mothers' Day
I hope all my mommy follower had a happy Mothers' Day. For any followers dealing with infertility who are not yet mommies, know you're in my thoughts and prayers.
This morning, the family brought me breakfast in bed--real breakfast cooked by the husband. So I was able to avoid the joy that is burnt toast. :-) Dh bought me the 7th season of Gilmore Girls. Yay. The absence of Gilmore Girly Goodness in my life has been very apparent recently. I miss the wit and wisdom shared by Rory and Lorelai (and the occasional great lines thrown in by others in Stars Hollow). There were a few episodes I missed, so I'm thrilled to get the DVD's. We went out to lunch and then got coffee.
I'm glad I have this blog, because it allowed me to take a walk down memory lane with the ghost of Mothers' Days past. Oh, I am SO glad that this year has been very different. Bigger kids (and a complete set of kids which I didn't know if we'd have back then), a husband who is not deployed, and sleep--GLORIOUS sleep.
"You ought to be happy a whole heaping lot for the places and people you're lucky you're not." Yeah, we're the same people, but I'm thrilled we're not in the same position.
Despite some frightening health issues, my mother is still with us. Bubbe's Alzheimers has worsened, but physically, she's healthy. Plus, I hear that now, she smiles all the time. She has moments where her old self shines through, but overall, she can no longer remember the past, which for her, means she no longer lives with her fear from Germany. This is a blessing.
This Mothers' Day, I'm thankful for the little things; hand-made cards and kisses and I'm thankful for the big things; health, memory, and home.
This morning, the family brought me breakfast in bed--real breakfast cooked by the husband. So I was able to avoid the joy that is burnt toast. :-) Dh bought me the 7th season of Gilmore Girls. Yay. The absence of Gilmore Girly Goodness in my life has been very apparent recently. I miss the wit and wisdom shared by Rory and Lorelai (and the occasional great lines thrown in by others in Stars Hollow). There were a few episodes I missed, so I'm thrilled to get the DVD's. We went out to lunch and then got coffee.
I'm glad I have this blog, because it allowed me to take a walk down memory lane with the ghost of Mothers' Days past. Oh, I am SO glad that this year has been very different. Bigger kids (and a complete set of kids which I didn't know if we'd have back then), a husband who is not deployed, and sleep--GLORIOUS sleep.
"You ought to be happy a whole heaping lot for the places and people you're lucky you're not." Yeah, we're the same people, but I'm thrilled we're not in the same position.
Despite some frightening health issues, my mother is still with us. Bubbe's Alzheimers has worsened, but physically, she's healthy. Plus, I hear that now, she smiles all the time. She has moments where her old self shines through, but overall, she can no longer remember the past, which for her, means she no longer lives with her fear from Germany. This is a blessing.
This Mothers' Day, I'm thankful for the little things; hand-made cards and kisses and I'm thankful for the big things; health, memory, and home.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Sister Sunshine Proves My Point.
We have another in the long line of WTFable e-mails from everyone's favorite sister.
If you recall, I have already established that my middle sister is on crack. Let's check the track record here: in that entry, I pointed out that my (Atheist) sister sent me (Traditional Jew) a forward featuring an animated Jesus in an attempt "Hear what (she's) been waiting to hear." What the hell (no pun intended)? Sure, go ahead and steal a depiction of someone else's deity for your own personal gain.
But she wasn't done.
Wait for it.
Today, I got this:
From: SisterSunshine@WTF.com
Date: Tuesday, May 5, 2009 7:52 AM
To: Whole bunches of people who really don't want another stupid forward
Subject: (no subject) There's never a subject with her. I have no idea why.
Money Goddess
This is a Money Goddess Lakshimi. Pass it to 6 of your good friends, or family and be rich in 4 Days. Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days.
I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you delete it, you will never know!
SHE WORKS SHE REALLY WORKS
Oh my stars and garters!
I'm adopted. Please tell me I'm adopted. If I'm not, would someone PLEASE adopt me.
If you recall, I have already established that my middle sister is on crack. Let's check the track record here: in that entry, I pointed out that my (Atheist) sister sent me (Traditional Jew) a forward featuring an animated Jesus in an attempt "Hear what (she's) been waiting to hear." What the hell (no pun intended)? Sure, go ahead and steal a depiction of someone else's deity for your own personal gain.
But she wasn't done.
Wait for it.
Today, I got this:
From: SisterSunshine@WTF.com
Date: Tuesday, May 5, 2009 7:52 AM
To: Whole bunches of people who really don't want another stupid forward
Subject: (no subject) There's never a subject with her. I have no idea why.
Money Goddess
This is a Money Goddess Lakshimi. Pass it to 6 of your good friends, or family and be rich in 4 Days. Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days.
I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you delete it, you will never know!
SHE WORKS SHE REALLY WORKS
Oh my stars and garters!
I'm adopted. Please tell me I'm adopted. If I'm not, would someone PLEASE adopt me.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Mothers' Day gifts
On the radio today, I heard a number of moms call in to share either their favorite Mothers' Day gift or what they want this year. The answers ranged from a house keeper to one mom's wish to watch her favorite t.v. shows at the actual time they're on rather than having to record them to watch later.
It doesn't take me any time to decide what my favorite Mothers' Day gift is.
When my daughters were in the NICU, we went to visit them on Mothers' Day and found notes taped to the top of their incubators. The nurses there had left gifts for all the moms. They typed up a poem on pretty paper and stamped each babies' feet on the side.
This was a time when I didn't feel like a mother at all. I wasn't able to parent my babies. The doctors and nurses made all the decisions and did all the baby care. We were only able to hold our children twice a day. I wore my hospital ID bracelets long after I was released because they had given me one for each of my babies to identify me as their mother. I had to leave without my babies. Whereas other moms around me pushed babies in strollers, wore them in slings or carried them in their arms, my arms were empty. Those bracelets proved I was a mother since I had no babies with me to do that.
So that little poem was even more important for me. I needed to know that people saw me as a mother. I needed to be reminded that my children still relied on me as their mother, even when I couldn't do the typical motherly things.
That gift cost nothing, but I don't think any Mothers' Day gift will ever be more important or more profound.
It doesn't take me any time to decide what my favorite Mothers' Day gift is.
When my daughters were in the NICU, we went to visit them on Mothers' Day and found notes taped to the top of their incubators. The nurses there had left gifts for all the moms. They typed up a poem on pretty paper and stamped each babies' feet on the side.
This was a time when I didn't feel like a mother at all. I wasn't able to parent my babies. The doctors and nurses made all the decisions and did all the baby care. We were only able to hold our children twice a day. I wore my hospital ID bracelets long after I was released because they had given me one for each of my babies to identify me as their mother. I had to leave without my babies. Whereas other moms around me pushed babies in strollers, wore them in slings or carried them in their arms, my arms were empty. Those bracelets proved I was a mother since I had no babies with me to do that.
So that little poem was even more important for me. I needed to know that people saw me as a mother. I needed to be reminded that my children still relied on me as their mother, even when I couldn't do the typical motherly things.
That gift cost nothing, but I don't think any Mothers' Day gift will ever be more important or more profound.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
