The only proper title for this is, "WTF?"

Maman et Bebe refers to this as It's Like My Super Sweet Sixteen On Crack which is also accurate.

What in the world are people thinking? The extravagance. The cost. The hoochie-mama clothes on tiny little girls. The attitudes.

WTF?

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Halloween is my favorite time of year. I can't wait to get out there tonight and see all the costumes. My kids are all eagerly awaiting it.

So, do tell. What is everyone dressing up as for Halloween? Has anyone seen any super cute costumes out there?

Is that the best use of your time?

This post says exactly what I've been ranting about lately: Is That the Best Use of Your Time?

I will warn those who don't wish to go there that it's a Planned Parenthood blog. There's nothing gory or anything like that (that's left up to the protesters). It's a blog kept in response to the 40 Days for Life thing. I have some friends who participate in that, so I just want to be sensitive.

That blog post questions whether standing outside Planned Parenthood is the best use of time when there's so many volunteer opportunities to help families.

Here's an excerpt that sums it up nicely, "It takes real commitment and diligence to sit on the sidewalk for 27 days, rain or shine. Think of all we could accomplish if their efforts went toward something we can all agree on -- healthy kids, families, women, and teens."

Videos to make you laugh and cry

First the bad news. People are idiots.



After you're done crying (or shaking your head in disbelief and disgust), here's one to make you laugh.

This was one of my favorite videos of all time. Now the lyrics have been redone. You must see:



Both links found at Fist of Blog.

Coffin update

I went past the same pawn shop on Friday. The coffin is still there. I tried to get a picture, but the light changed before I could.

Random baby stuff

This is completely random. Forgive me.

Recently, I noticed some odd coincidences. I specifically remember the date of the first time I felt TheBoy move during that pregnancy. On that date this year, I finally got pregnant.

That got me thinking about the first time I felt movement during my first pregnancy. I don't remember when it was, but I remember I was home alone (dh worked nights) watching CSI. With TheBoy, my water broke and I went into labor during CSI.

Hmmm...odd.

FTR, no consistent movement yet from the newbie. I may have felt movement during high holy day services, but I haven't felt anything since. I'm not one of those people who feels kicks early, so I'm not expecting anything until next month. I've been to the midwives and everything looks great. Heart rate was 134 this last time.

Halloween is scarier than I thought

I just stumbled across a collection of old costumes at RetroCRUSH. Oh my word! I had no idea what I was in for.

I had a bunch of these crappy plastic wonders.

• I vaguely remember Smurfette.
• I can never forget the freaky eye-less face of this Mini Mouse costume which sat in the box on the foot of the basement stairs for years and creeped me out every single freaking time I had to go down there. I don't believe I ever actually wore the costume, so I think maybe she was just used as a gargoyle to keep evil (or kids) away.
• I don't remember who in my family had this costume, but someone did. It's so freakishly familiar. If you never had the costume, your expected reaction is to run screaming. So even if you look at it and your initial reaction is not, "GO THE HELL AWAY," but rather, "Wait, I know you," then you MUST have had that costume at some point in time.
  
• Laura is another one that is so very familiar, but I don't know who wore it. I had an undying love of the t.v. show (never the books. Why my parents wasted time reading me crappy Disney books instead of Little House In The Big Woods when I so obviously ADORED the Ingles family is beyond me). I assume that if anyone had that costume, I did, but I don't remember ever wearing it.
• While I never had this one, I'm shocked by its very existence. Small Wonder? Really? I had no idea they had a Vicki/VICI costume. I adored that show, but that one is super scary. I'm not sure that I would have actually wanted that.

Why did we ever think these costumes were a good idea? They're horribly creepy. These aren't cute sweet cuddly kids' costumes. These are what Michael Myers must have worn.

My blog in pictures

While schleping through my archives, I came across a few pictures that I felt were particularly pertinent to my blog.

I started my little section of the blogosphere while dh was deployed to the Middle East. The date on my first batch of posts is May 9, 2006. Dh left early in the morning the day before. Since then, I've captured lots of bits and pieces of my life in here.

Among those pieces, are a scattered bunch of photographs.

Heartbreak isn't a particularly moving photo in general, but the circumstances surrounding it were. That's also my very first entry.

We have photos that randomly capture the beauty and oddity that is my everday life. A coffin at a pawn shop? WTF?

The absurdity is unending, especially when you have children. And it's always my first instinct to grab for the camera.

I have an odd sense of humor and a camera phone. Good combination or bad? You be the judge.

I also have good friends, a screwy family and photoshop.

In this blog, there is exactly one photo posted wherein you can see my face.

When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate. And when life gives you ice, grab a camera and take pictures.

I haven't done any Thursday Thirteens in a while, but this was one I wanted to write about (and photograph) for a long time. Glad I got the chance.

Here's another TT that's just completely frivilous, but contains my very favorite cats in all the world (not counting the ones that live in our home).

Speaking of our cats, I've posted photos of them which still crack me up.

Sometimes, the pictures are proof that I really do care about my audience and am constantly thinking of them. There's a local bank with a sign that I simply must photograph for you. I haven't yet (I'm always the one driving when I pass it), but the sign reads, "For personal service, see Chastity Den." Every time I drive by, I think, "I need to get a picture of that for the blog." It cracks me up.


And thus concludes our quick trip through the blog in pictures. Hope you enjoyed it. If not, I'll be back with more in the not-too-distant future. When you refuse to post pictures of yourself or your immediate family, it makes it kind of tricky, but thus far, I've managed. I'll make more of an effort in the future, though.

Life Lesson #327

When using a neti pot, don't ever do so in a rush. If, you disregard my previous warning, do not, under any circumstances, in your haste, use FAR too much salt.

OH MY STARS AND GARTERS! The pain. The pain is searing and unending.

I learned this horrid lesson by experience the other night. I thought, "I've been doing this long enough. I know what I'm doing. It won't be a problem if I rush."

I'm an idiot.

I used way too much salt. My eyes burned for an hour afterward. My teeth hurt. Dude, my TEETH hurt. WTF? My cheek bones ached. My throat burned. My nose ran like a faucet and wouldn't stop. I wound up having to take a bath and immerse my head under hot water to get any relief.

Please, don't let my stupidity be in vain. Don't make this mistake. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

The religion of simplifying

I've been making an attempt to simplify over the past year or so.

I had no idea that one could mix religion and downsizing.

What a neat idea! I'll definitely need to say the blessing with the kids when we get rid of the big bag of too small clothes.

But the boobs get in the way.

I'm a big fan of altering random songs to better suit my needs (or odd sense of humor).

So lately, I've taken liberties with this little gem:


Just change the refrain to, "but the boobs get in the way."

I don't know how many sizes I've gone up during this pregnancy, but I know that DD bra I just got is a bit snug (DD is my usual nursing size).

At this point, I can still sleep on my stomach with some maneuvering, but damn it, the breasts are loudly protesting that position. My uterus can deal, but my breasts scream in pain. They can just shut the hell up, though 'cause I thoroughly enjoy sleeping on my stomach.

After my daughters were born, when they were still in the NICU, I got horribly excited when I realized I could once again lie on my stomach. Too bad I forgot about the whole surgical birth thing. I was fine in that position, but experienced excruciating pain when I tried to get back up. Dh worked nights and slept during the day, so my attempts to call for him were in vain. I wound up falling off the couch. Horrible pain and complete humiliation, those are two side effects of a c-section that no one ever warned me about.

Anyway, back to the boobs. My sister (who is under 5 feet tall and 90-some-odd pounds) went up to an H or an I while nursing. We used to laugh when we got those "Increase Your Bust Size" spam e-mails. I once suggested that we open one and follow the advice because then we could have our very own shelves right there under our chins and honestly, that could be very useful for a new mom.

I've always been larger during pregnancy than nursing, but I've never been quite this large this soon. Only time will tell where the boobage will take us.

Until then, I'll keep humming my own version of that little ditty under my breath. Feel free to join the conga line and sing along.

But the boobs get in the waaaaaaayyyyy.

And the award for "Most Wonderful Husband on the Whole Freaking Planet" goes to...

my husband.

G-d bless that man!

When it was time to pick the kids up at Hebrew school, I was in the middle of an in depth phone conversation with a friend. Did my husband interrupt to tell me it was time to get the kids (I usually pick them up)? No. Did he roll his eyes, sigh and play the martyr? No. What did my wonderful husband do? He went to get them without a word so that I could finish my conversation.

The following day, when it was time to get them from dance class, I was once again on the phone deep in conversation with the same friend (I swear it's not a conspiracy). I had picked out a recipe I wanted to make for dinner, but didn't get to start. Dh found the magazine, figured out which recipe I was planning on, and started making dinner. When it was just about time to go get them, he mentioned it while he cooked. I got off the phone and asked him if he'd rather I went to get them or took over the cooking. He went with option A which was actually the easier of the two for me.

Remember, when it comes to Judaism, I'm the more traditional of the two of us. While we've been active at our current shul for a few years, dh hasn't gone to high holiday services there (the military had a way of always either deploying him during the high holidays or refusing to give him time off). This was his first year attending Rosh Hashanah services there and this shul expects men to wear tallit (women have the option as well). Dh has not worn tallit since his bar mitzvah. When I mentioned he'd need to wear them, he hopped online and found (and memorized) the blessing for doing so. Upon arriving at services, he couldn't quite figure it out. So when we dropped the kids off before services, he actually ASKED SOMEONE how to do it. Yes, a man was willing to ask for help. Aren't you shocked? And it was neat too. He asked an acquaintance of ours explaining, "It's been a very long time since I last did this." The guy said, "We're glad you decided to wear one today," and he went on to tell dh that he was, "Honored to be asked for help."

I, too, felt honored to be standing there next to him donned in tallit. We've been together over a decade and I've never seen him wearing tallit in person (I have seen the bar mitzvah photos). Aside from feeling privileged that he was willing to do it, I was in awe by the fact that he cared enough to do it for me even when I know it was awkward for him.

For these and so many more reasons, my husband definitely deserves an award of some sort. Oh and he also deserves my undying love and affection, but he already had that.

Reiza, this is your life.

I have a feeling that's how road trips are going to be for our family for the next dozen or so years.

Although, in my experience, there will never be only one who has to use the facilities. The second one, though, will not make that announcement until AFTER you return with the first. And none of them will say anything until you're all headed to your car ready to pull away from the bathroom spot.

Tossing chocolate frogs

I don't like the waste aspect of this and we don't really do chocolate, but this could easily be adapted.

Using chocolate frogs to drive good behavior

Brilliant!

Pregnancy update

I have lost more than 10 lbs on my midwives' nutritional guidelines. Before I got pregnant, I busted my butt to lose any weight with no luck. I went to the doctor, worked out 2 hours a day, watched what I ate all to no avail. I should have just checked with the wonder midwives back then and saved myself the time and trouble.

My uterus has popped. I've been showing, but now, I'm showing even more. Someone even said to me, "Hey, now you look pregnant." Yay!

Upon sending my mother the first belly shot (you know this is our 4th baby 'cause I didn't even take any belly shots until now), I was thrilled when her reply was, "I was surprised. You don't look bad." She didn't mean it that way, but my mom sometimes misses out on that whole tact thing. That was actually the best I could have hoped for from her. Last time around, when I was about 29 weeks pregnant and sent a photo, she replied, "So, you got fat."

I think I may have felt some movement in services yesterday (Shanah Tova to my fellow Jews), but I'm not sure. I didn't feel a kick (it's a little early for that), but more like the kid launched him/herself off one side and smacked into the other. TheBoy did that a lot during my last pregnancy, but not until much later. I'm still not certain if that really was movement, but I'll wait and see what I feel next.

I can now go quite a few hours between meals (yippee) and I'm not feeling nearly as sick. Although, that constant gagging has been replaced by actual vomiting. I've only thrown up 3 times this entire pregnancy, though and all of them between 10 and 13 weeks. I can deal with that. I'm still extremely tired, but it's getting better.

I ordered a birthing pool. It's a little earlier than I would have liked, but it's the best time for deals on pools. I found an inflatable kiddie pool that is often used as a birth pool on clearance at the Toys R Us website. It cost me less than $15. I used left over gift cards, so it didn't cost me any of our money. The same pool runs from $45-$100 on sites that specifically sell birthing pools. After the baby is here, it'll be a pool for the kids (once it's cleaned, of course).

Had some blood work run at my midwife appointment and it came back perfect.

I would love a little more patience. That would be lovely right about now. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be making an appearance. I'll keep working on it, though.

So far, so good.