FAQs for morons

These are actual questions I've gotten lately. I've had the first question more than once, but one idiot even asked 1 & 2 combined.

1. Are they ALL yours?

What I said: Yes.

What I wanted to add: Three children do NOT constitute "All." Three is not a fucking excess of kids. When 2 of them come as a matched set (which is usually obvious because they like to match), then that's sure as hell not a lot of kids. Two pregnancies do not a huge family make (with some exceptions)

2. Have you figured out what causes that?

What I actually said: Yeah. For some of us, it's supplements and medications and medical procedures and doctor interventions.

What I wanted to add: Fucking moron!

The idiot at the mall who asked this combination of idiocy chuckled and walked away. So once again, I add: FUCKING MORON!