Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Sharing Time:
Victory in the mommy wars

There's been so much talk over the past few years about the "Mommy wars"--mothers judging one another. I propose we mount a counter-attack. Forget making that tongue-snapping noise of annoyance at other moms. Let's compliment them.

Don't look for the bad to complain about. Look for the good to praise.

I challenge you all to speak up and tell parents when you notice their kids doing something nice. Leave me a comment and tell me about the situation. Feel free to post the challenge on your blog with a link here. I want to hear lots of happy stories.

My sister and I have made a point of trying to do this for a year or two now. First off, when I read the first article about "Mommy wars," I wrote to a mom I've always admired and told her so. Then, when my sister and I went to the zoo and a little boy (maybe 6 or so) held the door for us, my sister ran over to tell his parents what he had done and to thank them. The boy was beaming and so were his parents. Another time, I noticed a girl of about 8 helping my kids in the playground. I went over to her family and asked, "Is that your daughter?" They admitted she was and I could just see they were bracing themselves for bad news. I explained how I saw her help my kids and how much we appreciated it. Once again, the family was very obviously thrilled. I heard them call her over and start to relay the conversation to her as we left.

So now, go forth and declare victory in the mommy wars. Screw this petty bickering. Keep your eyes open for kids doing something positive and make a point of letting the parents know that you appreciate it. Then come back here and tell me about it.

1 comment:

Krissy said...

A good friend of mine is a teacher and she is always stressing the importance of highlighting a child's good behavior in a group setting because then the others will be compelled to behave well to get praised. In addition to having kids behaving, you reduce the need for "negative discipline" by using positive reinforcement. Why not apply the same logic to parents?

I recently told a good friend that both Husband and I are impressed with her youngest child behavior and temperment. I also told her I aspire to be the kind of mother she is to her children. She said I made her day.

So I agree with Rose, go make someone else's day!! :-)