Monday, June 05, 2006

I can feel the distance getting close.

I've been lucky enough to talk to dh a few times recently, much more often than I expected. Speaking to him is difficult though. Well, I suppose it's not the speaking part that's a problem (my mother only half-jokingly says that once I said my first word, I never stopped). Listening to him breaks my heart, though.

He's already exhausted. In his voice I hear the fatigue, the disillusionment, and the anger. Today he told me, "I'm already ready to be done with this place." That really breaks my heart because he hasn't even been there a month.

I want him to know that I love him. I want to make sure he knows I believe in him in hopes that it will help him believe in himself again. I want him to know there's an empty place here just waiting for him to jump in and fill. I hope that will help him pull through, but it seems like so little when compared to the seemingly unending days of drudgery he has ahead of him.

2 comments:

Kamrin said...

Is there anything we can do to help him? I know we keep offering help for you, but what can we do to help improve his spirits? Love coming at ya!

Reiza-Mara said...

I'm not sure what could be done. I'm wondering if stupid/funny cards or things of the sort would make him smile. If anyone's up for sending out some laugh-inspiring cards, e-mail me and I'll pass along his address. Sorry, this offer is only valid for those who already know any of my e-mail addresses. I won't give his address out to anyone I don't know.