A song, a dilema, and some catching up (not necessarily in that order) all while I avoid folding laundry

First and foremost, I present a song. While at the gym yesterday a song came on that made me think of dh. I'm not a huge fan of pop music, but I'm not ashamed to admit when a little ditty gets stuck in my head. I had long since forgotten about this song, but when it came on, I knew I'd need to post it on the blog. Yes, I am posting a Michelle Branch song on my blog. Let the flaming begin.

"Everywhere"

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're, you're never there
But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?

As for the update, dh e-mailed and called yesterday. It was good.

In the moments where I really let myself sit down, take a break, and reach out and touch the lonliness, I realize just how much I miss him.

The dilema is awful news I got from someone I love. She opened up and told me about things that happened in the the past. It absolutely crushed me, so I don't know how it didn't do the same to her. I've been thinking about her and about things related to her pain all night and all day. I couldn't sleep last night for a number of reasons (writing to her, the girls kept waking up, then the boy woke up repeatedly, then Girl1 woke up AGAIN) and today was rather trying too. The reality of it all just bounces around in my head whenever I quiet down.

The up side is that now she has someone to talk to about it. I'm the first adult she has told and I have every intention of being there for her any way I can.

It was also a big smack in the face that forced me to remember how amazing dh is. I wrote to her about a bad situation I was headed towards before dh and I started dating. It's frightening to think about where I would be if he hadn't jumped into my life when he did. He cared enough to reach out when he saw things that concerned him. And that caring very well may have saved my life. It certainly saved my sanity and my soul. I often let the reality of it escape me, but last night, I was reminded just how lucky and blessed I really am.

It also reminded me of the huge responsibility we all have. For now, I'm not going to worry as much about saving the world. I'll focus on loving those around me instead. I think if we all did that, we really would save the world.