The truth is out there.

and it's in here too.


1. I once nursed a baby on the dance floor at a wedding while dancing (and no one knew).

TRUE. The girls were 9 months old when my youngest brother got married. At one point, I was nursing one of them when they called all the couples up for that, "If you've been married 1 year, sit down down. If you've been married 5 years, sit down now..." dance where you're left with the couple who has been together the longest. Dh and I got up and danced. One of my nieces suggested I let her sister hold the baby while we danced. I said, "She's nursing," to which my niece replied, "Oh, then forget it. My sister can't do that for you."

2. On our first date, my ex (who was on probation at the time after spending time in jail for dealing) took me into NYC with a friend of his to buy a dime bag.

TRUE. When I met my ex, he was on probation after serving a 3-year sentence for dealing drugs. He was clean at the time. During our first date, his friend called and asked us to go with him into the City. We did and while there, the friend bought a dime bag. Not long after that, my ex started using again and then we were done. I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend has had at least 4 more felony charges since then including one earlier this year for (big shock) cocaine possession.


3. While I speak only 3 or 4 words of German, a paper of mine on breastfeeding was published (in German) in a national (Germany being the nation) magazine.

TRUE. My German is limited to "Good morning" and "dog farts," but a paper of mine was translated and published in German about 5 years ago. The magazine editors found it online and contacted me about publishing it in German. I still have a copy of the magazine around here somewhere. I can't read a word of it, though and I wrote it.

4. My father was 11 when my oldest brother was born.

TRUE. I can't believe no one guessed this one. I usually throw people with this bit of information. My oldest brother is from my mother's first marriage. My mother is more than a tad bit older than my dad. So yes, my father was 11 when my oldest brother was born. My father, however, was NOT my oldest brother's father.

5. One year, for Halloween, I went as dead Britney Spears (No, I'm not THAT young. I was in college at the time).

TRUE. And there's a picture of me in that costume in the yearbook from that year. This was right when Britney was still fairly new on the music scene and "Hit Me Baby One More Time" was a big hit (and drove me insane). I wore an old school uniform with the skirt rolled all the way up, put my hair in pigtails, used stage make-up to draw a bloody slash on my neck, rigged a fake knife on a headband (ala Steve Martin's arrow through the head), made my lips purple and painted my face to look pale. It was a huge hit.

6. I took piano lessons for 11 years (and 3 months) and then broke my mother's heart when I decided I'd rather be the next free-spirited (sometimes dirty-mouthed) Tori Amos than a dignified classical musician confined to an orchestra.

FALSE. I took 2 years of "keyboard" lessons when I was in band as a kid, but that's it. Although, I would love to be Tori Amos. I actually stole this idea from my former sister-in-law (she and my BIL are now divorced). I once heard her (very overbearing and horribly obnoxious) mother ranting about how her daughter trained for years to be a classical musician and in the end, decided she only wanted to play "rock music."

7. When I was 13, I could not only name every single (daytime) soap opera that had ever been on the air, but I could put them in chronological order.

TRUE. I was absolutely addicted to soap operas when I was much younger. I have an addictive personality and a love of information, so I ate up every little bit of information. I could list every soap opera in the order of which it premiered. Of course, that was long before Passions and that General Hospital spin off that didn't last very long.

8. When I was 4, I wanted to be a priest (no, not a rabbi, a priest--a CATHOLIC priest. Yes, I knew you had to be male to be a priest, but I figured it was a stupid rule so it certainly didn't apply to me. Which, I might add, should be the case with all stupid rules).

TRUE. I still vividly remember that conversation with my mother. I was in the bathtub and we were discussing what I wanted to be when I grew up. I have no clue why I wanted to be a priest, but I remember being very offended when my mother told me women couldn't be priests. FTR, The Reform Jewish movement first admitted women to the rabbinical seminary in the 60s. The Conservative movement did around 1980.

So, okay, how did you do? Did any of these really shock anyone?