Keyword Analysis

While looking through my stats, I realized that someone found their way here in an attempt to discover, "Reasons why children shove things in nose."

Oh, hun, I have NO FREAKING IDEA, but yeah, I feel your pain.

Say what?

I just checked my stats and found some fun keywords that have brought people here.

anatomically correct love doll
Oh boy! That's not at all what I meant when I posted about the kids' anatomically correct doll. Although, I bet that person probably considered the cheese penis post a suggestion rather than simply a funny anecdote.

make a list of eight things to put on the spaceship
If you insist.
1. Alcohol
2. Chocolate
3. That aforementioned anatomically correct love doll
4. Bob Hope
5. Chilli
6. Charro
7. Gefilte Fish
8. The entire cast of The A Team

things ur husband does in target
I don't know who this person is, but oh boy do I want to. I want to have a long conversation with them too.
Random note: When I mentioned this particular phrase to dh, he was baffled and asked, "What did you write about me in Target?" When I assured him that I hadn't, he said, "I didn't think I did anything unusual there--at least not anything funny that you'd feel compelled to write about."

bath and body works intimate areas
Um...ah....WHAT?

my niece is irresponsible and pregnant
Apparently, I should start a club.

penises like dolls
This is another one to file under "WTF?" Is the searcher attempting to learn if penises have an affection for dolls or is he/she comparing someone's penis size to that of a doll? Either way, I'm baffled--highly entertained, but baffled none-the-less.

why do you need a license to cut hair
I have a photograph of a 4-year-old me with my bangs hacked off horribly short at the hands of my unlicensed mother that would help explain that regulation.

Oddly enough, these are some of my most popular entries:

Sorry For the Silence I have no clue what is in there that attracts people, but it's my most popular page

Nothing says, "Happy Chanukah" quite like ham.

It's not every day you get My Little Pony news. Yeah, I was excited by the news too, but I find it strange that it's one of my most popular entries when it's new. I guess people REALLY like My Little Ponies.

And, of course, Harry Potter and the Simulated Sex Act

Keyword analysis

Just checked my stats and saw one of the searches that directed people here.


my husband got me a stupid gift

Oh, you poor thing. How stupid? Golf clubs when you don't play golf stupid or a cat shaped pot-holder stupid?

army of dicks

I've got no words for ya, just lots and lots of laughter.

spaceship christmas songs

If such a thing exists, this is probably the last place you'll find it.

pic of my sister topless

This is not the first time someone has found their way here with that one. My only consolation is that when they get here, they find the story of how my pregnant sister threw up on herself.

quote: have fun storming the castle

Whoever you are, you rock.

too many stupid people

How true!

adjusting to mother in laws

I've been married for nearly a decade and haven't mastered that. If you find a way to do that, come back and let me know.

save me from my mother

Yes, please.

And perhaps I never should have posted this post because a whole slew of people have found their way there by using some very "interesting" search phrases.

My google hall of fame

I have the first-ever inductee into my google hall of fame.

Someone actually found their way to my site by searching for


how going pee inside a spaceship