Bulking up to what? Fat ass? Super fat ass?

Forgive me for the title. It's a South Park reference. It's a line that, for some reason, has stuck with me for years and I find a way to work into many conversations. Yeah, I'm weird. I know. And unless you're new around here, you should know that too. If you are new. Hi. Welcome. Pull up a seat and stare at the fat ass.

I saw pictures of myself from this weekend. I. am. fat. I don't fit into any of my clothes. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I went from being a gym rat who was in the best shape of her life to this. I am not pleased.

I ate well in my pregnancy and exercised. I didn't exercise as much as I would have liked (we let my gym membership lapse to save money), but I exercised more than I did in any other pregnancy (the yoga positions helped quite a bit with pregnancy pains). Our first real meal after TheBaby was born was pizza (I was so thrilled to have white carbs). It's all been down hill since then.

I don't know how much I'll be able to exercise in the winter with 4 kids, but I'm going to figure something out. I think I'm going to bust out the Wii Fit again and maybe my Pilates DVD's. Great blog reviews leave me wondering about EA Sports. I want to sign my fat ass up for Weight Watchers again. I've had good luck with WW in the past. I've never done it exclusively online which is what I'll have to do. I don't have time (or child care) to go to meetings.

So, there, I've said it and I've done so in a public forum. (stands up, looks around sheepishly) Hi, my name is Reiza and I'm a fat ass.

I need to lose 30 lbs (50 lbs ideally). I would love for my first goal to be to get me out of my damn maternity pants by February. Well, I mean I want to fit into something smaller than my strechy-waist-designed-for-having-another-person-inside-you pants (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER), not that I want to run around sans pants.