Saturday, September 12, 2009

Yet another fortune cookie of abstinence
(aka: The Chinese Place Hates Me)

In addition to exclusively breastfeeding, we are now using condoms AND I'm temping in the morning in an effort to prevent pregnancy. Why are we going through all this trouble when getting pregnant has never been easy for us? Because a fortune cookie scared my husband. It could have been warning of a lottery-ticket-bearing Oompa Loompa*, but no, my husband feared it referred to a baby.

If you recall, there was a night last month (which turned into a whole freaking week because it terrified my husband so) where I didn't get any because of a stupid fortune cookie. At the time, I grumbled a little bit, but mostly laughed. Ha ha. That's funny how that can be interpreted to fit our current situation. By the end of that week, though, I wasn't laughing quite as loudly. It's just a freaking cookie. Get the hell over here!

A few days ago, we went to the same Chinese place and once again, we got fortunes. Girl1 and I both eyed the same fortune cookie, but she got it first. When she read the fortune out loud, my husband said, "Oh no. That one was meant for you."

Oh hell! So now, I'm beginning to seriously wonder if that restaurant has it out for me. Dude, WTF? And no, my husband has not touched me since that fortune.

Then, this morning, we opened the front door to find a box. It's yet another great big box o'WTF from my mom (see #9). It's a package, for my daughter--the one who actually opened that fortune cookie. Never in my life have I been so thrilled to get a random box of insane stuff that we neither want nor need. I don't know if that package will prove lucky for my daughter, but hopefully, it will for me. A big box of useless unnecessary stuff has fulfilled the pastry prophecy therefore leaving us free to enjoy some indoor sports. Game on!

*I'm borrowing the lottery-ticket-holding Oompa Loompa from someone on twitter, but I can't remember who said it. If you know, please post her name in the comments.


Melodie said...

This is halarious. My husband is soooo not superstitious. I think it's a rather endearing trait to have (being superstitious that is), but I can see how a week of no sex might squash that theory a little.

InnerWizdom said...

You know what I love about this? That YOU, the Mama, actually *want* to get some, even though you are breastfeeding! Awesome! If I was in this situation I would be happy with some non-intercourse F.U.N. until your partner feels more comfortable. You start and then see what he says!

Reiza said...

My husband is one of the least supersticious people I know. Which is why I was both amused and annoyed all at once. :-)

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Krissy said...

But it seems that each time has gotten easier and easier. Example: You got pg this time amidst major crapola in your life. I understand the paranoia. :-)