I'm not getting any and it's all a fortune cookie's fault.

We went for Chinese tonight and, as is common in Chinese restaurants, we each got fortune cookies. I don't really like the taste of fortune cookies, but I do so love the fortune. I love everything about them. When my daughters each read their first ones by themselves, I took great delight. The ones that really resonate with me are kept and displayed. I got one in December that said, "Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you." My youngest daughter was born exactly 3 months and 1 day later. Sometimes they have bits of wisdom. Sometimes they're funny given current circumstances. Sometimes, they're freakishly true.

Today, my husband got this fortune:

Upon reading that, he screwed up his face, said, "Oh hell no," and then added, "I'm not touching you tonight."

Oh joy! I got a side order of abstinence with my moo goo gai pan. Dude, that was NOT on the menu.