Feeling Defeated Until My Pants Start To Fall Down

I haven't lost as much as I had hoped and I've been feeling pretty let down about the whole thing lately. I was considering canceling my Weight Watchers online subscription and throwing in the weight loss towel.

Then I got dressed yesterday. The awesome super cute Target capris I got on sale were very loose--too loose to wear. So I put on a pair of jeans--real jeans, not the elastic waisted maternity ones. They were too big. *Gasp* Today, I put on the pair of jeans I wore to my oldest daughters' birthday party. Back then, I had to use my "sucker-inner" shapewear just to get them closed and even then, I had to hold my breath and lie down. Today, they closed without a problem and I was even able to get them down without unzipping or even unbuttoning them. *Double gasp*

I'm still heavier than I'd like, but this is the first time I'm actually seeing a difference in my body. I think this is the perfect motivation to keep going.

This week, I was down another pound. I'm just over 2 lbs away from having lost 10% of my starting body weight.

Pesach (Passover) starts soon. That's going to make doing WW kind of tricky (I can't find any Kosher for Passover WW foods) on one hand (counting points), but I usually lose a few pounds during Pesach just because my carbs are so limited.

I know it's going to be a stretch, but my goal is going to be 140 or less (I'm 143.6) by the time Pesach ends. Let's see how close I can get.

Bad news

I'm still here. I just have bad news.

First, I found an old college friend has Cancer AGAIN. This is the third time he's been diagnosed with it. He has a wife and a baby. I feel absolutely awful for him. He's coming out swinging, but I can't even imagine how shaken he must be.

Then, I found out the mother of one of my oldest friends was undergoing chemo for Pancreatic Cancer, but it didn't work. She was just moved to hospice care this past weekend. I'm in shock.

Any thoughts or prayers would be appreciated for these friends and their families.

Like leprechauns, only with kippot.

Proud to be an Irish Jew (Hello, Jim!)
Originally uploaded by Daniel Greene

Happy Saint Patrick's Day, everyone. Yes, we are Irish. Yes, we're Jewish. Yeah, we're a pretty rare breed, but we are not, however, alone.

Apparently, there are enough of us to warrant not only t-shirts, but even jewelery.

So, I wish a Happy St. Patrick's Day both to my fellow rare Jews of Irish decent as well as to those Irish not of the tribe. To those of you who aren't Irish, I wish a happy Wednesday.

In case you're wondering, my father's maternal grandmother was Irish. My husband, too, is Irish somewhere way down on his father's side, but we're not sure where.

I'm sure you're sick of my weight loss posts, but here we go again.

This week, I was down about a pound and a half after being up last week. Not bad since I didn't count any points at all last week (it was super busy and I wasn't often home). I'm now just about 2 and 1/2 pounds away from losing 10% of my total starting weight.

Last week was wonderful for exercise. I was able to swim and walk like crazy. I loved it. Unfortunately, I no longer have access to a pool. That's such a shame because I absolutely loved it.

So I'm definitely going to try to mix things up a bit with the exercise. With swimming, I was able to routinely get 2-3 hours of exercise a day and I loved it. It kept us all entertained and even though I gained weight, I could see the difference in my body and feel the difference in the way my clothes fit.

With the weather getting warmer, I'm going to make an effort to get out more and play with the kids.

As far as food, I've been much better with throwing together lower points high veggie foods. Artichokes, mushrooms and portobello mushroom burgers have become staples in my diet. They're tasty, they're relatively easy, they're quick and they're super low in points.

Ohhhh, pretty crafts.

This Cherry Blossom Branch is gorgeous. I'm dying to make that for my daughters' room.

From babies to big kids in 2 seconds flat

It's so bizarre how our children grow up and we don't even see it coming. It should be obvious. Growing is what all living things do. It's common sense that our babies are going to grow up. We help them blow out an ever-increasing collection of birthday candles each year. We move them from our beds to their own. We complain when we realize those brand new pants that fit them just two weeks ago are now too short. We smile proudly when they learn to write their name, then sentences then page 200 of their 500 page autobiography.

So, the other night, when my kindergartener fell asleep in my lap, why was I shocked by how big he has become? I remember putting him to the breast for the very first time. I remember smiling at the toothless grin on that little boy who took to nursing so easily. That very first time, when he fell asleep at my breast, he fit in the crook of one arm. When he fell asleep in my lap a few nights ago, he took up half the couch.

In my experience, we see them grow up, but we often don't see them. I watch them grow, so there's rarely a big jump from one age to the next. It's not until I look back at old pictures that I realize how young they looked a year or two (or eight) ago.

My oldest daughters are no longer babies, but I find that particularly difficult to believe. They're the same age I was when I started wearing a bra. A BRA for goodness sakes! Oh. My. Stars! I can't even think about my first babies wearing bras. I swear they're still toddlers. I still think of them that way even though one is now working her way through all the Harry Potter books in record time and the other is plotting ways to start a business to raise money for a laptop.

I don't think anything prepares you for this. Before you have kids, you hear people marveling over how quickly it goes and you think they're just sentimental saps. When your baby hits his/her first birthday, you may marvel at how quickly it has gone or how much they have changed (unless you have preemies. Then, if you're anything like me, when you get to the one year mark, you think, "It's about damn time!"), but even that only gives you a glimpse into how much you will be absolutely shocked by how these children grow and everything they learn.

I wish there was some way to tell mom or dad up yet again, rocking a fussing baby to sleep at 2 am that in a much shorter time then they expect, they'll relish those moments when their baby is 30+ pounds bigger and, in a very rare event, falls asleep sprawled out across mom or dad's lap.

A friend of mine likes to say, "This moment is brief," in regards to parenting troubles. She then adds, "You can take that whatever way you want." Maybe you take that as a comfort that these difficult times will end soon. Maybe it serves as a reminder that all of these moments are far too brief and we'll find ourselves longing for them in the not-too-distant future.

Up up and a weigh

This week has been a mixed bag as far as weight loss goes.

I was up just over a pound. That puts me back over my last goal. Humph! :-/ I'm not thrilled about that at all. There's no explaining it away. I ate too much of the high fat/high calorie foods. I went overboard with Purim. I know it. I probably won't be able to get myself back in check this week either because it's awfully crazy. I haven't counted points in nearly a week. I'm trying to make decent choices, but it's so hectic right now and I'm rarely home at all, so it's difficult.

The good news, though, is that I've been super active this week. Lots and lots of swimming and walking. When I put on an old pair of pants (which have been tight), they fit great. The last few times I wore them, they were tight, even after I started losing weight. So I know I must be losing inches if not pounds.

Before I started putting some weight back on, I saw a few pictures taken of me last weekend and I realized I'm finally at the stage where I don't cringe as soon as I see myself in pictures. That's a big deal. My face is one place where I put weight on almost immediately, so you can absolutely see it in my face when I gain weight. Seeing those pictures, I still look "fluffy," but not as big as I did just a few months ago. This thrills me beyond words.

Of course, I put weight on after that, so well, humph! I don't know.

I'm going to continue trying to make common sense choices and get as much exercise as I can until I can get back into my usual rhythm of counting points.

Sometimes Realization Slaps You In the Face

I asked a friend for help in dealing with my mother. Mom is an odd one and even after 30+ years, I still can't figure her out.

That friend directed me here: Symptoms of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and I am absolutely floored. So many of those fit my mother. My jaw is hanging open. Yes, her father was an alcoholic, but so too was my father's father and my dad is the complete opposite of my mom. My mom doesn't often (really ever) talk about her father (he died from liver cancer decades before I was born), so while we all know he was an alcoholic, the details of her life with him are largely unknown. I never even considered that it would play a part in her personality issues (aka acting like someone out of their ever-lovin' mind).

These are particularly shocking for me (and right on the mark)


8 . When someone gets angry at you, do you shrivel inside?


9 . Does personal criticism make you feel as though you're under attack?


11. When things go badly, do you feel like a victim?

OMG! OMG! Go read this and then reread this little ditty: You Say You Are a Superstar. Get Off the Cross We Need the Wood.

I'm floored! This explains SO much.

Although, I just wish it would explain how in the world I'm supposed to deal with her. If every little criticism is seen as an attack, how in the world am I supposed to ever disagree with her without her hopping on the drama llama?