Stepping Off the Spaceship

Decisions, decisions

2010-12-15T00:13:00.001-06:00

I'm still here. This blog is still here. Yet I don't know if it should be.

Where do I go from here?

Fitting In

2010-07-25T20:52:00.006-05:00

When I was younger, I fit in anywhere. I could instantly find friends anywhere. I had no pre-conceived notions about who would/wouldn't make a good friend. Boys were not "Icky." Girls were not pretentious. I could slap a coffee filter on a G.I. Joe figure to have him parachute from the third story window immediately after cuddling my Cabbage Patch doll.

I knew what I believed, but was happy to hear everyone else's views. Many Sunday mornings, after sleeping over at my best friend's, you could find me with her in her Lutheran Sunday school class. I went to Catholic school. At lunch, among friends, I debated the value of Yom Kippur vs. Catholic confession (9-year-old me was quite certain one day of fasting and coming to terms with G-d myself was much preferable to cowering in a confessional being judged by a priest and 30-something-year-old me still feels exactly the same way).

So many people fear public speaking. Not me. I love it. I'm comfortable in front of crowds. I wanted to be an actress. I'm a born leader and I enjoy (almost) every minute of it. The best compliment I ever received from my mother was when she asked, "Why did you never become a rabbi? You know all this stuff. You've always been a leader. You would have been good at it."

Now, though, I find it increasingly difficult to fit in. Among most of my friends, being Jewish makes us the odd ones out. With one group of fellow Yids, we're too observant. With others, we're not nearly observant enough. With some people, we're the wrong religion entirely and therefore not even a candidate for friend. I have to bite my tongue around some friends so as to not make political comments that I know will tick them off. Many of my friends are far older. A number of those have grown children, so when I'm exasperated by the toddler tantrums, my friends look at me like I have three heads and go back to helping their daughters' plan their weddings. Others are young and single and are equally baffled when the toddler tantrums or the kindergartner insists on wearing his Batman mask, bathing suit and not much else. They're too busy planning their road trip with friends (from which they will post ten THOUSAND pictures to Facebook) to hear my explanation.

So it's nice that we have finally managed to find a little space in the world where we've collected people with whom we feel comfortable. I can randomly bust into song and not only will no one stare, but some friends will actually JOIN IN and sing along. One or two might even grab their guitar or play along on the piano. And that, right there, makes all the slings and arrows in life so much more bearable.

"You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can`t forget. Those are your friends." --Dana Scully "the X-files"

Are Libraries Cooler Than Cupcakes?

2010-07-20T20:05:00.002-05:00

I say, "Yes," and you know I love cupcakes, so that's a big deal.

I've posted before about how I do so love Children's Librarians. Then, today, a (librarian) friend shared this and so I feel compelled to do the same.

Why The Next Big Pop-Culture Wave After Cupcakes Might Be Libraries

I don't know about you, but I would find a way to watch a reality show about our local librarians. That would be some interesting stuff.

Rules that only morons need to hear: What Cannot Be Unseen

2010-07-14T11:33:00.007-05:00

Have you ever had to explain something to someone which really should be common sense, but for some reason, it wasn't for that particular person?

Don't speak loudly and in great detail at the gym about the best blow job you ever gave, particularly when there are elderly ladies on the treadmill next to you is one such rule.

I came across another one last weekend that needs sharing: While at a restaurant, do not EVER speak of anything you have seen on a television segment titled anything remotely similar to, "What Cannot Be Unseen."

This should be common sense, but it wasn't to the group of ladies a few tables down from us at a restaurant. After hearing about one such segment (again, in great detail), I had to put down my food because I had lost my appetite. Now, I don't have a weak stomach, so if even I was grossed out, you can rest assured what you just discussed (LOUDLY AND IN GREAT DETAIL) was completely inappropriate in an establishment where eating takes place (or at least DID before you grossed people out).

So, what other rules have you felt compelled to clarify for the morons?

Make new friends and keep the old (but only if they're Christian).

2010-07-13T10:00:00.010-05:00

I heard of such things, but I didn't believe they really existed, at least not among nice people. I figured the concept was just something people threw around to try to prove a point of bigotry. Sure, some bigotry exists, but I didn't believe it really existed in such an outright and confusing form.

People really exist who won't be friends with people who are not Christian. Please excuse me while I find my jaw and pick it up off the floor.

What's even "better," people--sweet nice people, won't be my friend because I'm not Christian.

The one in question (and I suspect now that there have been others) isn't some mythological awful vicious beast. She's nice. She's very sweet. She and I have a lot in common. I often invite her to parties and events and she always declines. I figured she was just busy with her large family and many commitments. Nope, she's just...Christian.

This blows my mind. I don't understand it at all. I tried discussing it with a (Christian) friend who laments that she's on the opposite side. She knows she has friends who are ONLY friends with her because she's Christian. She tried to explain the rationale to me as she's actually had this conversation with some friends including the one in question.

Turns out some people believe only fellow Christians can share their goals, beliefs and philosophies. I find this so odd because, for years, I recognized that my parenting style and goals were most similar to a fundamental Christian friend. Politically and religiously, we were polar opposites, but our goals in life (menschkeit, even if she probably wouldn't refer to it as such) and parenting were the same. We had a lot of fun together and we had some great discussions. She once called me, "Insightful," which, to this day, I think is the best compliment I've ever received. My life and my children's lives are richer because she and her children were a part of them.

In addition, I've been told that, some Christians basically have the idea that, "You're going to hell anyway and I'm not, so why bother getting attached?" Hold on. There goes my jaw again. Must go chase it as it rolls under my desk.

Now, I know many (if not most) branches of Christianity believe that faith in Jesus is the only way to heaven. Funny, though, many of those claim that their and only their exact interpretation of Jesus will drop you on the yellow brick road to heaven. Everyone else is either headed to hell's western shore or will have to renounce their beliefs in the end times. Honestly, I find that offensive. Go ahead and pat me on the head and say, "Oh, that's a cute little doily your son has on his head, but I'm right and you're wrong and in the end, you'll just toss that in the trash and hand him a 'Jesus Rocks' baseball cap instead."

Judaism believes it's actually EASIER to be a good person if you're not Jewish. We have 613 laws to follow. The rest of you have only 7 fairly simple ones (among others, don't murder people or eat a live animal and you're good to go).

In Judaism, we don't focus on the afterlife. Whereas Christian texts write extensively about heaven, we Jews know very little about what the world to come has to offer. That's because our focus is on the here and now. If we worry about our behavior here, the rest will take care of itself. So my concern is not who I'll share a booth with in the next life, it's who I'm sharing a drink with in THIS life and how I treat him or her.

I'm just stunned and in disbelief that this not only happens, but has happened to me and that it's done by otherwise nice people. What a shame! What an absolute shame!

The Moment I Knew

2010-07-05T18:49:00.008-05:00

I'm taking part in e.p.t.'s "Moment I knew" blog tour.

Just thinking about that moment when I first learned I was pregnant (we'd later find out it was with not one, but two babies) makes me grin like a big idiot (a happy idiot, though).

With our first pregnancy, we were ttc (trying to conceive) when my husband was sent away. We tried to plan visits around my cycle, but with no luck. Every month, my cycle got longer and longer, so every month, I took a pregnancy test only to be greeted with a great big honking evil BFN (big fat negative). I was heartbroken.

Then September 11th happened. My husband was away and I had just found out, yet again, that I wasn't pregnant (I visited him a few weeks prior in an attempt to catch ovulation). My lmp (last menstrual period) was September 8, 2001. During the awful chaos of the 9-11 attacks, I was thrilled that I wasn't pregnant and it made me question whether I even wanted to have children given all the uncertainty in the world. Dh and I discussed it in depth and decided we still did. We took comfort in the fact that maybe we could raise children who could counteract such hatred.

It was good that we came to that agreement because, when I visited him 3 weeks later, it finally worked. He came home for good (well, as "for good" as you can get in the military) a week after that and I kept joking that I was pregnant (Would you grab an extra piece of chocolate? Oh, it's not for me. The baby wants it.), but we just didn't know. I didn't have any of the usual symptoms. In that time, the military had given us orders to move almost immediately. So we planned one last trip to visit family in the area before we were sent across the country.

While visiting, we stopped to pick up an e.p.t. I tucked it away and we went to bed. In the morning, I woke up before Dh and took the test. I refused to even look at the test until a full 5 minutes had gone by. I was terrified that it would be yet another negative.

When I looked at the test, I was shocked. TWO LINES. I had never seen two lines before. I stared at it for a while trying to believe it. Then, when I was fairly certain this was really happening, I went back into Dh who was still sleeping. I shook him and whispered, "It worked." It took him a second, but suddenly he sat up straight and I handed him the test. He saw it too.

We decided not to tell the family right away, but we had a family dinner that night. We just about floated through that dinner. We were SO happy. Giddy as can be, we had to keep our news to ourselves and pass the potatoes. We couldn't hide our excitement, though. There are pictures of us at that dinner and you can see these huge goofy grins our faces in every single one.

I still have that test. I tucked it away and everywhere the military sent us, that test came too. Nothing in the world will ever compare to the early morning when I first saw two lines.

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of e.p.t and received an e.p.t. keepsake case and a $20 gift card to JustGive.org to facilitate my review.

You can find out more about e.p.t. products (including a keepsake bag which would have been ideal for toting my first test around the country) at testaccurately.com.

Coconut Oil and Randomness

2010-06-30T19:26:00.006-05:00

Tropical Traditions sent me a jar of their Certified Organic Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil last fall. I was just stomping through my archives and realized I never posted my review. Ack!

As luck would have it, I'm STILL discovering new uses for the stuff.

First and foremost, I cooked with it. It tastes absolutely amazing with sweet onions and tilapia. It adds just a hint of sweetness which makes for a much richer flavor then olive oil.

I tried baking a chocolate cake with it, but it wasn't quite my favorite. First and foremost, I need to say that I don't like the taste of coconut. When baked, it has that flavor. So it wasn't quite my style. Although, oddly enough, when I ate some cake the next day (after it was refrigerated, I liked it much better. The coconut flavor wasn't as strong the next day.

So, even if you don't particularly like coconut flavor, you may find that, like me, you really enjoy this with meat or vegetables.

I found the most random uses in addition to eating it. With the oil, Tropical Traditions included a little booklet that had lots of information and included some alternative uses.

One idea mentioned was using it as a moisturizer. I found this coconut oil was the only thing that worked to get rid of TheBaby's cradle cap. I rubbed it on her scalp and the next day, the flaky dry skin was gone.

I also made the most wonderful exfoliating concoction. I added used coffee grinds to coconut oil and kept it in a little container in the shower. I used it in the mornings. The smell was great and my skin felt very soft. I have oily skin, but using the oil on my face didn't cause any problems.

Unlike most other oils, this coconut oil is a solid at room temperature. So, you can add "Prop in a science lesson" to its resume'. This has proven to be endlessly fascinating to my kids.

Our vet recommended giving the cats some oil to help prevent hairballs, but we've never had any luck getting the cats to actually eat oil, though. The booklet mentioned that some pet owners just put a small scoop on their pets' food. Sure enough, we put a scoop in their food and one of our cats loved it. I must admit, one wouldn't touch it, but neither of these cats would eat any other type of oil. Our fuzzy boy happily licked this up right away.

Last weekend, I found the most bizarre use for this coconut oil. Would you believe it works wonderfully to cover scratches in hardwood flooring? Well, it DOES. Moving furniture left us with a big scratch on our floor. After panicking momentarily, I remembered reading that walnut oil was supposed to be good for such scratches. We didn't have any (and we had company coming very soon), but I did have a little bit of this coconut oil left. So I put some in the crack and rubbed it in. The kids and I were all shocked when we realized you couldn't see the scratch at all. I then cleaned the floor as usual with hardwood floor polish. A week has gone by and it still looks great.

The price on the oil seems a bit steep to me, but they have sales all the time--really good sales. If you sign up for their newsletter, they'll let you know what sales are happening and they link you directly to them. I've found that very helpful. They also list sales and blog giveaways via twitter.

Dancing Naked Men

2010-06-30T12:26:00.017-05:00

I have a chance to see dancing naked men tonight. I, however, am passing up that opportunity and instead will stay home with the family.

I want a freaking metal!

I know there are people out there who complain that the male body is ugly. I am not one of those people. In my opinion, the male body is gorgeous and worthy of longing stares.

But no! There will be no happy staring at ~~swinging bits~~ dancing men for yours truly.

My husband had better appreciate my sacrifice.

I can also think of a few other things he had better do.

FYI: I just created a "Dancing naked men" label for this post. How have I blogged for 4 years and not yet created such a label?

EDITED TO ADD: Here's my giggle for the day. I'm wading through my archives and I just found this post: Sexually Deprived For Your Freedom. I guess some things never change. Some things don't change one single bit. ;-)

My Bargain Brag

2010-06-29T11:29:00.004-05:00

Here's a tip for you: always check out the clearance. I don't care where you are, go find the clearance aisle and look. If you were at the store last week, check again.

I found some fantastic deals at Borders. I didn't even realize they had a clearance section, but when we were there for the Fancy Nancy party in May, I saw it. At the time, they had the Wallies Peel and Stick chalkboard designs for $4 (down from $20). I came *this* close to getting one or two, but decided we really didn't need them.

Then, when we were there about two weeks ago, I had to hunt down the children's clearance section. It was much smaller and was a completely different location. They still had those chalkboard stickers, but this time, they were 98 cents each.

For that price, I snapped them up. One package was a little too beaten up, so I let it go, but I got two packages of the plane and cloud designs and one of the house/tree designs. I figured I'll give one of the plane/clouds as a gift. I saved $60 and paid less than I would for the tiny chalkboard strips at the Dollar Tree.

They have excess in the packaging (like the borders on stickers), so I'm going to cut out some smaller designs too.

Oh and we're going to put one up on the front door so that we can leave notes to each other and reminders when we're on our way out. Another tip is to put one inside your cabinet door and that way you can write down items as you run out. We found it useful to do something like that on the cabinet door where we keep medicine. That way, when we gave the kids a dose of medicine, we wrote down who got what when. That was particularly useful with twins when we often found ourselves trying to remember who we got medicine last.

Back to the topic of unlikely clearance and great deals, I once found a big box of foam Chanukah stickers for $1 on a clearance table at Barnes and Noble. I don't think these are the places where most people even think to look for clearance.

No matter where you are, try to hunt out the clearance section. You might be pleasantly surprised. We certainly were!

An Ode to the Children's Librarians

2010-06-26T22:22:00.010-05:00

I love you. If I "swung that way" and wasn't already married, I would propose to you--all of you.

I love that you seem genuinely happy to see my kids and to stop and chat with them. If, in reality, my kids annoy the hell out of you, I love that you're fantastic actresses.

I love that you know where the heck the Lauren Child books have gone. They were there for months, then suddenly, Franklin stares out at us from their place on the selves. Franklin doesn't hold a candle to Clarice Bean or Charlie, but a quick stop at your desk sends my children on their little yellow brick road to Lola-land.

I love that you love that hissing cockroach. I sure as hell don't want anything to do with it, but I'm thrilled that there's someone who's willing to show those nasty things to my kids while I'm ALL the way on the other side of the library.

I love that you believe my daughter when she reports that we dropped that book in the drop slot on Thursday, even though the computers still show it as checked out. I also love that you let her tell you all about how we know we brought it back on Thursday because we were there for the water cycle program, but we were a day early because it was really on Friday. So we came back on Friday and made these really cool water cycle crafts. And TheBoy even got to make one even though he's technically not old enough for the program, but they let him do it anyway. And we know we dropped that missing book in the book slot in the back of the building because we like to do that when we have a lot of books to return because it's just easier, so we use that and park in the side lot and walk a little farther to the side door.

After my daughter's big long explanation, you put a trace on the book so we won't be charged. Yet another reason to love you.

I love that not only do you stand up in front of a room full of over 100 people and sing a song which compels children (to the tune of "Merrily We Roll Along") to follow a number of simple tips including, "If you have to go REAL bad, REAL bad, REAL bad; If you have to go REAL bad, sneak out quietly," but you do so loudly, clearly and with no hint of embarrassment.

When my kids ask for your recommendations on teen graphic novels, I love that you check with the teen librarian (I didn't even know there was such a thing) and then you bring every single option back to me to look over first. I can't tell you how thrilled I was that, even though you don't have any kids, you knew to let me have a look first.

And you, the new young one, you have a cool literary-themed name. I think that's cool as hell.

I love that you do so much outreach in the community, both through the library and personally. I've gotten to know some local children's librarians and I'm floored at some of the things they do on their own time and with their own money to help out children in need.

My children make crafts and get the bright red corn syrup all over the tables and you don't even flinch. When I jump up to wipe it up, you assure me that's not necessary. For that, I could kiss you.

I love that, during story time, you can respectfully get a child to sit down, quiet down, stop breaking the blinds, climb down from the rafters, etc. And I also love that, if necessary, you're not afraid to find whoever came with that child to deal with it. I've always been amazed at the awesome balance children's librarians can strike with that. They're friendly and respectful, but not doormats.

You know my son is probably not going to stand up and do any of the dances, but you just let him be. Thank you for not making a big deal out of it.

I love that you offer neat craft ideas.

I love that you have whole stacks of ideas for audio books that we can take out and listen to during road trips. I also love that you were absolutely right about Stockard Channing reading the Ramona books. Those were loved by all during our last long drive.

I ADORE your summer programs. You can't beat free, local and air conditioned in the summer. Add the fact that they're educational and I know you bust your butts to set them up and run them and I'm just about ready to don a cheerleader outfit, grab pom poms (which my kids probably made at a library craft program) and create a cheer in your honor.

You are wonderful and for that, I thank you and because of that, I love you.

Oh Shit! I'm Becoming My Mother.

2010-06-25T18:15:00.004-05:00

My mother is very superstitious. She carries all her own old ethnic superstitions as well as others she's collected over the years. I can get behind one or two of them, but most of them just have me shaking my head and moving right along.

So, yesterday, when I noticed someone left the baby's shoes on the table (a HUGE bearer of bad luck according to my mother), I snatched them off and said, "That's bad luck." Wait. What? Who said that?

Girl2 turned to me and said, "You do you realize you sound just like your mother, right?"

Just you wait, child. Just you wait!

Old people rock!

2010-06-22T21:08:00.004-05:00

Today, an elderly couple stopped to chat with me. The woman mentioned that she has two great grandbabies. She saw my brood and asked if they were all mine (NOT in the usual condescending tone). When I confirmed they were, she smiled and said, "Four is a great number. It's a perfect size for a family." I smiled and said, "We think so."

I can't tell you how nice it was to hear something like that. So often, my gaggle of kids is met with wide eyes and a horrified, "Are they ALL yours?" I must point out that my kids are very well behaved. People make these comments while the kids are standing right beside me in the super market or are sitting on a bench with me at the park. It's not as though two are attempting to do a trapeze act from the light fixtures while one rolls around on the floor and the baby's busy pickpocketing someone's wallet.

So I was very grateful for the kind and accepting words of that woman.

She reminded me of Cleo, who lived across the street when we moved in. She moved to a nursing home years ago, but she was a lovely elderly woman in my neighborhood. Cleo was 93 and had eight children and more grandchildren and great grandchildren than she could remember.

When I was at my wit's end with colicky premature twins and a husband who worked the night shift when he wasn't deployed, I would pack up the twins and go for my daily constitutional. I'd pack them in the stroller and walk around the neighborhood. I'd stop to visit Cleo on her porch and we'd chat, mainly about babies (hers were born at home).

One time, I tried to make a hasty exit when the twins were particularly fussy. Cleo didn't even bat an eye. Whereas we always hurriedly left restaurants when the twins made so much as a peep which caused people's heads to snap around violently so that they could glare at us; it didn't bother Cleo in the slightest.

I told her they were hungry and started to rush away. After she asked if I was nursing and I assured her I was, she said, "Then just feed 'em. In my day, they got hungry and we fed 'em. No need to get up and go. You've got what you need. "

That was when I was still new to nursing and nursing in public was often a tricky fumbling disaster. So I was so relieved to hear her say such a thing. Not long after that, I became quite the pro at nursing in public and I think Cleo's reassurance played a big role in that.

Turn and face the strange cha cha changes.

2010-06-13T19:42:00.004-05:00

Times they are a changing!

Lots of changes, minuscule, monumental and everything in between going on in my world and I wouldn't have it any other way.

We're making lots of changes around here. New phone number. New social media outlets. New pets. New career for the husband. And, as early as August, a new address for all of us. Wahhoo. Yippeee! Hallelujah! And other such exclamations of happiness.

Then, just today, a great new volunteer opportunity was presented to me. It's birth-related and you all know that's something that's near and dear to my heart.

Something that hasn't changed is my family. I'm still happily married (for over a decade) to my husband who rocks. Our kids are great. Girl2 finished the entire Harry Potter series in 7 weeks. She has since moved on to the Septimus Heap series. We have to take two of the books at a time out from the library because she finishes them so quickly. Girl1 prefers the Graphic Classics. Thus far, H.P. Lovecraft is her favorite. They both taught themselves to ride without training wheels this year. TheBoy loves math, Ponyo, BabyMouse, Franklin, the Hulk kids' comics and any sort of attention. This kid has a future in sales because oh boy is he a charmer! TheBaby celebrated her first birthday, but before that, she took off running and climbing. She can make it to the top bunk on her own (much to my dismay). This kid doesn't sit still. She now has a head full of blonde curls. Her smile is absolutely adorable. And what a lover! She runs over to us just to give lots of kisses. That sweet face of hers does sometimes remind me of what we're missing, but that smile and those hugs and kisses help me heal.

Now, for some less-than-thrilling news; I've been re-evaluating blogging. Obviously, this joint isn't as jumping as it once was. I tried NaBloPoMo in hopes of once again lighting my blogging fire, but it just didn't happen. While it did inspire me to do some writing of which I'm proud, it just didn't lure me back to the blog side. So I've decided to leave this place and ride off into the bloggy sunset (blogset?).

I won't be going anywhere just yet, but I'm going to wrap this blog up in the not-too-distant future. This place will remain, but I'll be movin' on. I've written quite a bit here about military life, veterans' issues, homebirth, midwifery, c-sections, breastfeeding, babies, Judaism, children, twins, and just life in general that I'd like to keep available in the blogosphere. I'll leave comments opened as well, but I'll leave the current settings--older posts have moderation enabled to thwart the spammers.

My Favorite Picture Book: "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Book?"

2010-06-08T20:03:00.006-05:00

I have four children and more books than some libraries. So if I begin a phrase with, "My favorite," and end it with, "Book," you know it's gotta be good.

My children love Lauren Child's illustrations and her artwork is darling. She's the creative genius behind Charlie and Lola. I love the way her writing and artwork captures childhood. Both her characters and drawings are so sweet with a hint of mischief (or, in Lola's case, sometimes more than just a hint).

My twins made it their mission to take out all of Lauren Child's books from the library at least once. During that quest, we came across "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Book?"

I really can't quite describe this book in a way that will do it justice. In this book, Lauren Child introduces us to Herb who likes books. Although, Herb has used and abused one of his collections of fairy tales. As luck would have it, one night, Herb falls into this twisted fairy tale book. At one point, we find Herb falling into an upside room because he tore it out and glued it back in upside down when he was younger.

I love not only the story and illustrations, but the way it's told. In the upside room, the text too is upside down. At one point, characters climb up the text. It swirls and whirls and keeps your attention. There is absolutely nothing boring about this book.

I love love love love LOVE this book.

Sometimes, Kids Say Logical (and Hysterical) Things.

2010-06-04T08:28:00.002-05:00

The other day, we saw our small black dog sporting a bandanna. After a discussion with Dh, we realized the kids were responsible. When we asked them why, Girl1 replied,

"Because he stayed still long enough for us to do it."

About that weight loss thing...

2010-05-27T20:53:00.003-05:00

In case you haven't guessed by my complete and utter lack of any updates about that whole weight loss thing, I am failing miserably.

I fell off the wagon a while ago when life got super crazy. I stopped counting points and my days were far too hectic to get any exercising in.

I've been able to maintain for the most part, but I'm not losing at all and I'm feeling pretty low about it.

I saw video of myself last week and wow, what a shock! I didn't realize I was that big. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the camera adds 10 pounds, I know. If you told me it added 50 lbs, then I might be comforted.

I'm close to cancelling my WW online membership. I haven't had time to track points.

I know I need to get my motivation back. I know I need to start exercising again. I had plans to run in the evening after Dh got home, so of course he's working late and getting home at nightfall. I'm hoping he'll get back into his usual work routine soon, but until then, I'm just feeling stuck.

In case you can't tell, I'm heaving a big sigh over here.

What Motivates You?

2010-04-28T14:30:00.004-05:00

At Hebrew school, my daughters' class was asked, "Why are you here? What motivates you to come to Hebrew school?"

One girl said, "So my parents can go on dates while I'm here for 2 hours."

Another said, "So my mom can clean without us in her way."

My daughters both said, "So we can teach our parents because they've forgotten all the Hebrew they ever learned."

At the end of class they added, "And so we can read Torah."

Nice save, kids. And hey, thanks for not throwing us under the bus like your friends did with their parents.

The World Is Wonderfully Bizarre (or at least our closet is)

2010-04-13T20:49:00.005-05:00

Remember that little girl who taped a note to her closet for us to find? Well, curiosity (and my daughters) got the better of me. I found that little girl (now an adult) and have been chatting with her a little bit.

Get this: Her husband is in the military and she has twin girls.

Should I remind you that MY husband was in the military and we have twin girls?

Isn't the world wonderfully bizarre sometimes? I love it!

In the course of our chatting, I've learned some of the stories of this house. See, this is why I prefer older houses to new ones. Old homes have souls. They have stories to tell.

True, sometimes it may not seem so romantic. Sometimes, old homes just have issues that leave you muttering under your breath.

Why in the hell is that wall there? Who thought eggplant purple was a good color for a bathroom? In what world was a tree a good idea right there? Those bears on the wallpaper are terrifying. How in the world did the last owners sleep with scary bears glaring at them every night?

For every ugly wall color, baffling shrub placement or murderous bears on wall borders, there's a story. These are stories that new owners may never know, but that those who made them will never forget. From now on, whenever I find myself wanting to ask, "Why in the world did they do THAT," I think I'm going to simply announce, "I bet there's a story behind that."

Letters From the PastTucked Inside the Closet

2010-04-11T20:48:00.008-05:00

Yesterday, while getting ready for bed, Girl2 came to me and said, "There's an envelope taped to the wall inside our closet. Should I take it down?" She did and I opened it.

In the envelope was a letter from the girl who last lived in this house. I knew there was a young teenage girl here, but we never met her. Based on the handwriting and the letter itself, she was about 12 or 13 at the time.

She wrote about how this house had a lot of happy memories for her and a lot of bad as well. She wrote about how she hoped the new owners would enjoy it and how she hoped we would take care of her house.

This absolutely made my daughters' weekend. I thought it was pretty neat too. We've lived in this house for 8 years. How have we managed to miss that all this time? I'm glad we did, though. I'm glad it was my daughters who found it when they were old enough to appreciate it. How neat is that! This is the stuff of those sappy pre-teen novels.

Although, I must say, that note from a little girl written nearly a decade ago has me wandering our halls looking at our home with new eyes.

We planned to move years ago, but weren't able to for various reasons. Then, we were supposed to be gone this past summer, but the economy made that impossible. We find ourselves complaining about how we can't wait to move out. We have a long list of things we want (more than one bathroom would be phenomenal). We have wander-lust. We want out. We're anxious to move on. This house has become a relic from our past to which we're shackled long after it has outgrown its usefulness.

Since reading that letter, though, I find myself walking the halls and wondering if that little girl, now a woman, would recognize anything in this house. We've put so much work, so much time, so much love into this place. This was our first home.

All of our children took their first steps in this house. My children's heights are marked on the inside of the foyer closet door. My youngest was born in this house. A big "Welcome Home," banner was stuck in this front yard when Dh returned from his deployments. Hell, it was in the back office of this house where I started this blog 4 years ago.

Being a military family, we never felt at home. We moved from rental to rental, but those places were never, "Home." Some of them weren't even comfortable. This place, though, this has always felt like home. That's a huge deal, particularly to someone who lived for 20 years in the same house where four generations of her family had lived. There was never any doubt that that house was home and ever since I left, I found myself searching in vain for somewhere else that would have that same comfortable quality. This place was exactly that.

I want to thank that little girl for her note, not only because it excited my children, but also because it made me look at this house with new eyes. We're still ready to move on, but I can better appreciate that this house has a soul all its own. It was here before us. It was here for us and hopefully, it will prove to be not just a house, but a home for someone in the future.

My weekly weight loss update (a few days late and a few pounds short)

2010-04-04T21:31:00.005-05:00

Sorry I'm late with my posting this week. With Pesach and the news about my friend's mom, I've been so busy.

This week, I was 140.8. I have now lost 10% of my starting body weight. My goal was to be under 140 by Wednesday and maybe, just maybe, that will actually happen. I'm not sure, though, because that weight was at the end of the week, not my usual mid-week weigh-in. Plus I've splurged a little bit since then. I'm going to get lots of walking in tomorrow and Tuesday and then we shall see where that takes me.

The weather is so gorgeous lately. I'm going to grab the opportunity to be out in the sun as much as possible. I'm hoping I can start working in the garden soon. I'm not much of a gardener, but it's great exercise plus then we can grow our own healthy pesticide-free veggies. Plus it's always a homeschool lesson for the kids.

Tomorrow is another big meal night, but we're keeping it simple (fish, green beans [yes, we eat kitiniyot. Dh and I are Ashekenazi, but I'm Sephardic too, so Passover is the one time of year I pretend that other side doesn't exist] and mushrooms) and we'll have a little K for P wine.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can hit that weight goal by Wednesday. Of course, I have a scheduled lunch date with friends that day. We're going out for Chinese to celebrate the end of Pesach and the return of chametz. It's not even bread I'm craving (I'm actually hoping to stay pretty low-carb even after Pesach has "passed over"). It's the sushi and soy sauce. Yum!

More Bad News

2010-04-02T15:26:00.004-06:00

Do you remember that friend's mother I mentioned? The one who was diagnosed with cancer, was unresponsive to chemo and was moved to hospice care? She passed away last night. I've known this woman since I was five years old. I absolutely cannot wrap my mind around this.

Baruch dayan he'emet

Feeling Defeated Until My Pants Start To Fall Down

2010-03-25T20:05:00.003-06:00

I haven't lost as much as I had hoped and I've been feeling pretty let down about the whole thing lately. I was considering canceling my Weight Watchers online subscription and throwing in the weight loss towel.

Then I got dressed yesterday. The awesome super cute Target capris I got on sale were very loose--too loose to wear. So I put on a pair of jeans--real jeans, not the elastic waisted maternity ones. They were too big. *Gasp* Today, I put on the pair of jeans I wore to my oldest daughters' birthday party. Back then, I had to use my "sucker-inner" shapewear just to get them closed and even then, I had to hold my breath and lie down. Today, they closed without a problem and I was even able to get them down without unzipping or even unbuttoning them. *Double gasp*

I'm still heavier than I'd like, but this is the first time I'm actually seeing a difference in my body. I think this is the perfect motivation to keep going.

This week, I was down another pound. I'm just over 2 lbs away from having lost 10% of my starting body weight.

Pesach (Passover) starts soon. That's going to make doing WW kind of tricky (I can't find any Kosher for Passover WW foods) on one hand (counting points), but I usually lose a few pounds during Pesach just because my carbs are so limited.

I know it's going to be a stretch, but my goal is going to be 140 or less (I'm 143.6) by the time Pesach ends. Let's see how close I can get.

Bad news

2010-03-23T18:27:00.003-06:00

I'm still here. I just have bad news.

First, I found an old college friend has Cancer AGAIN. This is the third time he's been diagnosed with it. He has a wife and a baby. I feel absolutely awful for him. He's coming out swinging, but I can't even imagine how shaken he must be.

Then, I found out the mother of one of my oldest friends was undergoing chemo for Pancreatic Cancer, but it didn't work. She was just moved to hospice care this past weekend. I'm in shock.

Any thoughts or prayers would be appreciated for these friends and their families.

Like leprechauns, only with kippot.

2010-03-17T07:15:00.004-06:00

Proud to be an Irish Jew (Hello, Jim!)
Originally uploaded by Daniel Greene

Happy Saint Patrick's Day, everyone. Yes, we are Irish. Yes, we're Jewish. Yeah, we're a pretty rare breed, but we are not, however, alone.

Apparently, there are enough of us to warrant not only t-shirts, but even jewelery.

So, I wish a Happy St. Patrick's Day both to my fellow rare Jews of Irish decent as well as to those Irish not of the tribe. To those of you who aren't Irish, I wish a happy Wednesday.

In case you're wondering, my father's maternal grandmother was Irish. My husband, too, is Irish somewhere way down on his father's side, but we're not sure where.

I'm sure you're sick of my weight loss posts, but here we go again.

2010-03-11T14:10:00.003-06:00

This week, I was down about a pound and a half after being up last week. Not bad since I didn't count any points at all last week (it was super busy and I wasn't often home). I'm now just about 2 and 1/2 pounds away from losing 10% of my total starting weight.

Last week was wonderful for exercise. I was able to swim and walk like crazy. I loved it. Unfortunately, I no longer have access to a pool. That's such a shame because I absolutely loved it.

So I'm definitely going to try to mix things up a bit with the exercise. With swimming, I was able to routinely get 2-3 hours of exercise a day and I loved it. It kept us all entertained and even though I gained weight, I could see the difference in my body and feel the difference in the way my clothes fit.

With the weather getting warmer, I'm going to make an effort to get out more and play with the kids.

As far as food, I've been much better with throwing together lower points high veggie foods. Artichokes, mushrooms and portobello mushroom burgers have become staples in my diet. They're tasty, they're relatively easy, they're quick and they're super low in points.

Ohhhh, pretty crafts.

2010-03-11T14:09:00.001-06:00

This Cherry Blossom Branch is gorgeous. I'm dying to make that for my daughters' room.

From babies to big kids in 2 seconds flat

2010-03-07T22:04:00.006-06:00

It's so bizarre how our children grow up and we don't even see it coming. It should be obvious. Growing is what all living things do. It's common sense that our babies are going to grow up. We help them blow out an ever-increasing collection of birthday candles each year. We move them from our beds to their own. We complain when we realize those brand new pants that fit them just two weeks ago are now too short. We smile proudly when they learn to write their name, then sentences then page 200 of their 500 page autobiography.

So, the other night, when my kindergartener fell asleep in my lap, why was I shocked by how big he has become? I remember putting him to the breast for the very first time. I remember smiling at the toothless grin on that little boy who took to nursing so easily. That very first time, when he fell asleep at my breast, he fit in the crook of one arm. When he fell asleep in my lap a few nights ago, he took up half the couch.

In my experience, we see them grow up, but we often don't see them. I watch them grow, so there's rarely a big jump from one age to the next. It's not until I look back at old pictures that I realize how young they looked a year or two (or eight) ago.

My oldest daughters are no longer babies, but I find that particularly difficult to believe. They're the same age I was when I started wearing a bra. A BRA for goodness sakes! Oh. My. Stars! I can't even think about my first babies wearing bras. I swear they're still toddlers. I still think of them that way even though one is now working her way through all the Harry Potter books in record time and the other is plotting ways to start a business to raise money for a laptop.

I don't think anything prepares you for this. Before you have kids, you hear people marveling over how quickly it goes and you think they're just sentimental saps. When your baby hits his/her first birthday, you may marvel at how quickly it has gone or how much they have changed (unless you have preemies. Then, if you're anything like me, when you get to the one year mark, you think, "It's about damn time!"), but even that only gives you a glimpse into how much you will be absolutely shocked by how these children grow and everything they learn.

I wish there was some way to tell mom or dad up yet again, rocking a fussing baby to sleep at 2 am that in a much shorter time then they expect, they'll relish those moments when their baby is 30+ pounds bigger and, in a very rare event, falls asleep sprawled out across mom or dad's lap.

A friend of mine likes to say, "This moment is brief," in regards to parenting troubles. She then adds, "You can take that whatever way you want." Maybe you take that as a comfort that these difficult times will end soon. Maybe it serves as a reminder that all of these moments are far too brief and we'll find ourselves longing for them in the not-too-distant future.

Up up and a weigh

2010-03-04T22:53:00.002-06:00

This week has been a mixed bag as far as weight loss goes.

I was up just over a pound. That puts me back over my last goal. Humph! :-/ I'm not thrilled about that at all. There's no explaining it away. I ate too much of the high fat/high calorie foods. I went overboard with Purim. I know it. I probably won't be able to get myself back in check this week either because it's awfully crazy. I haven't counted points in nearly a week. I'm trying to make decent choices, but it's so hectic right now and I'm rarely home at all, so it's difficult.

The good news, though, is that I've been super active this week. Lots and lots of swimming and walking. When I put on an old pair of pants (which have been tight), they fit great. The last few times I wore them, they were tight, even after I started losing weight. So I know I must be losing inches if not pounds.

Before I started putting some weight back on, I saw a few pictures taken of me last weekend and I realized I'm finally at the stage where I don't cringe as soon as I see myself in pictures. That's a big deal. My face is one place where I put weight on almost immediately, so you can absolutely see it in my face when I gain weight. Seeing those pictures, I still look "fluffy," but not as big as I did just a few months ago. This thrills me beyond words.

Of course, I put weight on after that, so well, humph! I don't know.

I'm going to continue trying to make common sense choices and get as much exercise as I can until I can get back into my usual rhythm of counting points.

Sometimes Realization Slaps You In the Face

2010-03-02T08:37:00.003-06:00

I asked a friend for help in dealing with my mother. Mom is an odd one and even after 30+ years, I still can't figure her out.

That friend directed me here: Symptoms of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and I am absolutely floored. So many of those fit my mother. My jaw is hanging open. Yes, her father was an alcoholic, but so too was my father's father and my dad is the complete opposite of my mom. My mom doesn't often (really ever) talk about her father (he died from liver cancer decades before I was born), so while we all know he was an alcoholic, the details of her life with him are largely unknown. I never even considered that it would play a part in her personality issues (aka acting like someone out of their ever-lovin' mind).

These are particularly shocking for me (and right on the mark)

8 . When someone gets angry at you, do you shrivel inside?

9 . Does personal criticism make you feel as though you're under attack?

11. When things go badly, do you feel like a victim?

OMG! OMG! Go read this and then reread this little ditty: You Say You Are a Superstar. Get Off the Cross We Need the Wood.

I'm floored! This explains SO much.

Although, I just wish it would explain how in the world I'm supposed to deal with her. If every little criticism is seen as an attack, how in the world am I supposed to ever disagree with her without her hopping on the drama llama?

Parents Say the Darnest Things

2010-02-26T15:38:00.003-06:00

I actually said this to my kids the other day and as soon as it left my mouth, I thought, "I need to blog that."

My bum is probably not the ideal spot for P.J. Sparkles' birthday party.

Weight Loss and Bad Guys With Tasty Ears

2010-02-26T13:55:00.003-06:00

In health news, I'm officially down just over another pound. Well, I was when I weighed myself for my official weigh-in and when I weighed myself again today, I was down another pound from there.

My next goal was to be under 145 and I've made it. As a young teen, I hit 145 and for the first time ever, had high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I lost some weight, got everything back in check and swore I would never be 145 again. I have further to go, but I'm thrilled to have gotten here.

I've been playing around and managed to create a hamentashen recipe that's 0 points per serving. It's not fabulous, but not bad. It'll do. I'm going to try to play around with it some more, but it will have to be after Shabbat.

Purim starts very soon and I'm super excited. We're going to the Purim dinner after Havdallah on Saturday and the pancake breakfast on Sunday morning, so I'm going to need to plan accordingly.

The kids look adorable in their costumes. I think I look okay in mine. I didn't cringe when I saw pictures of myself in my dress, so that's a start.

Crafting for those who are NOT certifiably insane

2010-02-22T18:17:00.005-06:00

Like I said, in times of trouble, I look to crafts to distract me.

Cool Mom Picks just posted this. It's cute, but the price tag is completely uncalled for.

Am I the only one who thinks Cool Mom Picks has really gone off the expensive deep end lately? I find myself not even bothering to check that site because the things they feature are crazy. I did buy their featured Valentines to raise money, but that's about it. I used to check every day at least once a day. Now, though, I fear they've gone crazy, so I just don't bother.

Well, that pillow is cute, but I'm going to challenge myself. I believe I can recreate it completely free with fabric from my stash.

So stay tuned and let's see if I'm actually motivated enough to do it.

When the going gets tough, the tough get crafting

2010-02-22T17:14:00.005-06:00

Stained t-shirt recycled
Originally uploaded by ReizaRose

When I need a distraction, I tend to hit the craft blogs. I certainly needed that, so that's what I've done.

I just came across the El-cheapo Shirt Challenge and I love it.

It reminded me of this old shirt I made for TheBoy a few years ago. I took a stained t-shirt, dyed it, painted it and added outgrown legs from pajama pants to make it warmer.

It looked far cuter in person (wow, this is a really awful picture, isn't it? I'm sorry about that), but this gives you the idea. I paid a quarter for the t-shirt and everything else I had on hand.

FYI, there are lots of super cute shirts linked up, but this postcard one is my absolute favorite. How cute!

Breast Milk, Feeding Choice, Deep Thoughts, Cancer and My Husband

2010-02-21T22:39:00.007-06:00

I have ranted about this in the past, but recent events and The Feminist Breeder's podcast on Formula Falsehoods (to which I'm listening right now) have compelled me to write about this yet again.

When my husband's father was diagnosed with cancer, I wrote "What was that about feeding choice?" Since then, Dh has lost another close family member.

So I have already fought my way down this dark road. And it is a very very dark one.

We knew my husband had an increased risk of cancer because of the fact that he was formula fed. Now, that risk is even greater. There was another death in his family last week. Now, every single male on his father's side has been diagnosed with cancer. All but one has lost that battle.

This absolutely terrifies me.

As Gina pointed out on her podcast, there are benefits for mothers who breastfeed. I've always taken comfort in the fact that I have decreased my risks for various forms of cancer (including Ovarian cancer which killed my favorite aunt when she was only a few years older than I am). Even those women who did not receive the protections of receiving breastmilk as babies can still get some benefits from breastfeeding their children. I was breastfed and I have breastfed my children, so I have been blessed by the fact that we've avoided many of the dangers of formula-feeding.

My husband was never breastfed and obviously, he doesn't have the options afforded to me in regards to breastfeeding.

Really, you should just go read that original article. I made all the points I wanted to there. This is far too much for me to wrap my mind around. Things have just become a bit more bleak for us in the face of yet another victory for cancer and loss in Dh's family.

In that feeding choice post, I wrote this which sums it up quite well,

If you were to frame the discussion by explaining, "You can do X and increase your child's risks of illness and death for the rest of his life," do you think ANY mother would willingly take that option? What kind of a choice is that?

Our World Is Shaken.

2010-02-20T18:03:00.004-06:00

Dh's co-worker attempted suicide last week. He survived, but barely. The bullet traveled from one temple to the other. It has left him blind and brain damaged. He's in critical condition.

The man was in an unhappy marriage. They have three children. The kids were just told today about their father. The five-year-old daughter just keeps asking, "Where's Daddy?"

I never met the man. My husband didn't particularly like this man. Still, the more I hear, the more my world is shaken.

When another co-worker texted Dh with some gruesome details of his hospital visit, I ran to my husband and hugged him.

I'm constantly shocked by how many people around me are in miserable relationships. I've watched friends/family divorce. I've watched some fight and say horribly nasty things to each other. I've listened on the phone while some rant about what assholes their significant others are. I've been stunned at some of those stories, because, truly, their significant others are bigger assholes than I could ever imagine. I've had long discussions with friends who have just given up and insist they'll suck it up and go along because they promised "Forever" in their wedding vows.

Dh and I have our issues, but we're in such a different place. I'm not trying to hold our marriage up and say we're so much better than everyone else. We've had rough times too. But we've never been anywhere near with his co-worker is.

I just can't wrap my mind around it. The whole situation has absolutely shaken me. I find myself clinging to Dh and hugging him more than ever. I'm reminded of that Veteran's Day only days after he returned from his last deployment. When faced with the horror of what could have been, I hugged him and cried in his arms. This feels eerily similar to that.

That poor man! That poor family!

Attention Target Cashiers

2010-02-18T15:27:00.004-06:00

Dear Cashier,

I think I love you. If I wasn't already married (and it physically impossible since you too are female), I would like to marry you and have your babies.

The other day, my friend and I came to your line with our herd of kids. One of hers was not having a good day and was screaming while confined in the shopping cart (it is NOT a buggy. Shut up). Other employees stared wide-eyed with that look of terror. They may think I didn't see the relief in their faces when we passed them by, but they are WRONG.

You, however, gave no such look. You smiled sweetly and spoke to the screaming child. You spoke TO him, you didn't yell at him or mutter under your breath. You were pleasant the entire time.

When I came up next, you chatted with my kids too. Not only that, but you recognized that my eldest children are twins. For that alone, I could have kissed you. You didn't squint your eyes judgmentally and ask, "How far apart are they, anyway," in that, "Don't you know what causes that," tone of voice.

When you rang up my clearance item (yes, I did manage to shop at Target and only buy one thing. I know! I was shocked too), it came up as even less than labeled.

So, dear cashier, for those many reasons, I think I have fallen in love with you. When I handed you my $1.32, I believe I also handed you my heart. Please handle with care.

Sincerely,

Reiza

and the multitude of children

Hopping Back on the Wagon of Weight Loss

2010-02-17T11:03:00.004-06:00

I'm back on wagon that is weight loss and I'm feeling invigorated. I'm 146 which is a total of 10.8 lbs from when I started WW. I'm making myself exercise. I'm sore and I'm loving it. I love it when I hurt because it reminds me that I actually do have muscles in there plus I'm more likely to work out again when I'm sore because I know continuing to work out is the best way to ease the pain.

Yesterday, a friend said, "Your double chin is gone." I could have kissed her. I had been feeling kind of low since I didn't lose last week and I wasn't as consistent as I wanted to be with my exercise, but her comment was exactly what I needed. It motivated me not only to work out last night, but to exercise longer than I had planned. I only worked out 3 times last week, but I did it, I'm feeling the results and I'm going to keep doing it.

We have family coming out to visit in less than 2 weeks. I really wanted to be down below 140 by then, but I've had to adjust my goals since my weight loss slowed. So, now, the goal is to be at 143 by the time we have visitors. It's going to take some adjusting to keep the weight down because we usually eat out quite a bit when we have visitors. So I'm going to make a point of cooking home for everyone. I figure I can use some Weight Watchers crockpot recipes along with cooking larger portions of the healthier recipes we like.

Purim is only 10 days away. I LOVE Purim. It's one of my favorite holidays. Along with Purim, though, come hamentashen. Those cookies are my favorite Jewish food. The Apricot ones are my absolute favorite. Last year, I couldn't have them because I was pregnant and avoiding carbs. This year, I am so tempted to have a bunch, but I need to remember to do it in moderation. I want to see how much I can tweak the recipes to make them more WW friendly. The ones available at shul during the Purim carnival, though, are sure to be high in fat and calories (and yummy goodness. Yummmmmm. Pardon me while I drool).

So that will be my next challenge.

It's the Most Wonderful Time Of the Year.

2010-02-14T22:36:00.004-06:00

Valentine's Day is almost over. Do you know what that means? It's almost time for my favorite holiday of the year.

Happy half-price chocolate day, everyone.

Run, don't walk, to the nearest store to take part in this most wonderful of days. For those of us trying to lose weight, maybe we'll skip the chocolate this year. Then again, maybe we'll buy a giant box for a friend who is NOT trying to lose weight and who we know will be willing to share a piece or two.

Tomorrow also begins the wonderfully festive Stock Up For the Daughters' Birthday season. I love to grab the Valentine's Day leftovers to use as decorations and goody bag filler for the upcoming birthdays. I also love grabbing discounted Valentine's Day decor for the twins' bedroom. I saw some uber cute things this year that I'm hoping to be able to grab tomorrow.

I am seriously excited about this. I can't wait to head out tomorrow to see what treasures we'll find. I'll be sure to report back tomorrow. You be sure to pretend that you care. If you don't, well, I'll just talk to myself. That's nothing new.

Jokes From My Son

2010-02-14T17:13:00.003-06:00

My son has taken to telling me jokes. Here are two he shared this weekend.

First, a bit of background. My daughters love that stupid, "Why did the lady throw the butter/clock out the window" joke.

My son asked, "Why did the man stand under the window when the lady was throwing butter out?" The answer was, "Because he was hungry."

TheBoy also asked, "Why did the man get in his car and drive away from the house where the old lady was throwing butter out the window?" The answer, of course, was, "Because he wanted to get far away from the crazy lady throwing things out the window."

Works For Me Wednesday: Lather Up The Kids For Free

2010-02-10T20:45:00.004-06:00

I've never done the WFMW thing, but I have a tip I've been meaning to share, so I figure I'll jump in.

Once upon a time, I had a coupon for a free children's bath product. I have no idea where I got it from, but I used it on one of those foam pump soaps for kids with tear-free body wash inside. The soap is long gone, but I kept the pump. Pampered Chef also sells a version too, but it's cheaper if you buy the version in the kids' bath aisle (I found mine in the baby aisle). If you're worried about wear/tear, I can tell you ours has survived for several years and still works well.

You can often find $1 off 1 coupons for Johnson's Baby shampoo. Frequently, there are no exclusions on size. Many stores sell the travel sizes for 97 cents -$1.07. So, very often, my kids get free soap. One travel-size shampoo mixed with water will fill the entire pump. So, anywhere from free to 7 cents, I get an entire supply of tear-free soap for the kids.

For more great ideas, check out Works For Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family!

Zero is NOT my hero.

2010-02-09T13:06:00.004-06:00

After a birthday party this weekend wherein I ate far too much junk (I didn't think I was doing badly, but when I got home and calculated the points--OUCH), a few trips for fast food and very little exercise, I stepped on the scale for weigh-in today and found I haven't lost anything since last week. My weight loss is 0.

Ack!

I suppose I should be happy that I didn't gain. So I'll use this as a springboard for change. I'm going to try to avoid using any of my extra weekly points this week and see if that helps. I'm also going to make myself exercising more. I've been lazy and I know it. Time to get up and go.

Weight Loss: One is the loneliest number

2010-02-06T20:51:00.003-06:00

I forgot to update earlier in the week, but this week, I lost 1 lb. I know I should celebrate any weight loss, but I'm just not feeling it this week. My clothes feel tighter and my weight loss has slowed.

That being said, Aunt Flo did pay a visit yesterday, so that could explain the tighter clothing and this "Meh" mood I'm in about it all. I'm continuing to count my points, but I definitely need to up the exercise. We had snow and bitter cold here which had us cooped up for a while. Now, though, I need to do more. Yeah, I said that last week too. (sigh)

I weigh in again on Tuesday. I'm curious to see how I do. I've lost exactly 9 lbs. I would love to hit the 10 lb mark. We shall see in a few days.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

When Clouds Hand You SnowMake Snow Frappacinos

2010-02-01T11:26:00.003-06:00

Last night, we made snow ice cream with the kids. While enjoying it, I thought, "This is the same consistency as a Frappacino." Then a light bulb went off in my head. That light bulb was behind a sign that looked something like this:

I then made some coffee-flavored ice cream which could easily be turned into a Frappacino (just let it melt for a few minutes).

Here's what I'd suggest:

In a bowl, mix coffee the way you like it and add some milk. You can play around with this. I added some 1% milk in addition to the usual amount of flavored creamer. I suggest that if you use sugar, you add a bit more than you usually would with your coffee. If you want it sweeter, stick closer to the amount of sugar called for in the snow ice cream recipe (With liquid Stevia, I found the usual amount I used in my coffee worked, but with sugar, sticking closer to the snow ice cream amount worked well).

Mix it all together first in the bowl. I added bits individually and it didn't blend well. So mix coffee, sugar/sweetener (artificial sweeteners may not lend themselves well to this), creamer and milk together. Then get fresh snow and add and mix little bits at a time. You'll probably find you can add much more snow then you originally thought. For snow ice cream, we used two large sized pitchers full of snow. For my Frap, though, I used 1 and 1/4 pitchers. It depends on how much liquid you use.

Put it in a cup and depending on whether you have absolutely no patience or if you can wait a few minutes, you'll either have coffee-flavored snow ice cream or a super cheap Frappacino (for a fraction of the WW points that are in the Starbuck's version--a grande no whip Mocha Frappachino is 5 points. Mine came out to less than 1 point per serving when I used Stevia in place of sugar).

Wordless (day after) Wednesday: Reward

2010-01-28T21:50:00.004-06:00

I figured out how to reward myself for hitting my first weight loss goal. My last pair of casual sneakers (as opposed to gym ones) are in shreds (literally), so I went on a hunt for new ones. I found these at Target on clearance. I paid a whopping $4.98 for them. Go me!

Wordless Wednesday

Gooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!

2010-01-26T18:27:00.003-06:00

Today, I hit my first weight loss goal. I'm 148.8 lbs. My first goal was to be under 150 and I did it. Yay!

That meant my points were re-evaluated. I'm down to 25 points a day (I had 26). That's okay. Lately, I'm eating much less meat, so I've had an easier time staying within my points.

I still haven't gotten back on the Wii Fit (I really should, though. The last time I used it, I was pregnant and about 15 lbs heavier. I'd love to hear that little scale congratulate me for being down. Yes, I really do care what that stupid little scale says.). I haven't exercised as much as I'd like, but I've done something and my food choices have gotten better (and easier). So that's good.

My weight loss is slowing a bit, but that's to be expected. So I'm not heartbroken.

My next goal is to lose 10% of my starting body weight. That will be when I hit 136 lbs and that's only a few pounds away from my goal (I'd love to get down to 125, but I'll settle for 130. When I was at my lowest, when my twins were toddlers, I was 107 lbs. I was also in my 20s, though. I'm not as young as I was then, so I don't know if my body will let me get anywhere near there).

I'm happy. We've been able to balance eating out on occasion and still lose weight.

This week, I discovered that friends are a great resource for recipe ideas. Social networking is a huge help with that.

So, now, what on earth should I do as a reward for reaching my first goal? I have no ideas at all. I'm open to ideas, so suggest away.

Fathers Say the Darnest Things.

2010-01-25T15:04:00.005-06:00

Dh takes TheBoy to the bathroom every night before we go to bed. For those who don't have boys, I will explain that there's some penis tapping/shaking which occurs after such an event. The other night, I heard dh exclaim, "That's enough. It's not a guitar."

The next sound I heard was my own snorts of laughter.

Biology: Ur Doing It Rong

2010-01-19T19:49:00.005-06:00

For your Bio 101 lesson of the day, I want to explain genetics.

The child's adorable little dimple is NOT from you Great Aunt Olga. You cannot attribute the brown hair to the child's mother's brother. Well, you could, but then you'd be wrong.

DNA comes from the parents. Dad's brother had nothing to do with the creation of this child (well, at least we all hope). So no, that little girl did NOT get her straight hair from Uncle Isaac (unless there's something we don't know). She and Uncle Isaac may very well have inherited the gene that determines hair type from the same source, though, but there is no possible way he passed it along to her SINCE HE PLAYED NO PART IN HER CONCEPTION.

Now that I have shared this information with the world, there will be no reason I will have to refrain from smacking someone the next time one of my father-in-law's sisters says something like, "Oh, she gets that dimple from her great aunt." Knowing, after all, is half the battle (the other half is BEATING SENSE INTO PEOPLE).

While we're on the topic of biology, let Professor Reiza tell you that, in the case of twins, the mother is the only one who determines that. Don't go patting dad on the back for doing anything spectacular. It was mom who either released two eggs or provided conditions in which a single egg could split. Also, you can save yourself the trouble of inquiring as to whether or not twins run in the dad's family. See above. Although, a father can pass down that genetic tendency to his daughters if his mother had fraternal twins. However, if his father's mother had twins, then nope, no deal.

My favorite response to, "Do twins run in your family," is, "Now they do."

Professor Reiza would also like to remind you that, when the answer to, "How far apart are they," is "One minute," chances are that they're twins. Please don't stare at the parents with your brow furrowed completely unable to comprehend that any children could possibly be a minute apart. Please don't follow that question up with, "Are they sisters/brothers/cousins/guinea pigs?" And in the case of flustered parents of twins of any age (particularly newborn), please refrain from distracting them to ask questions of any type (particularly stupid ones). Smile at them. Nod. Then GET THE HELL OUT OF THEIR WAY.

Now you know. Go forth and share your knowledge with the world. Class dismissed.

Weight Loss update

2010-01-19T12:44:00.002-06:00

Here's the latest update from this member of the GREEN TEAM (you thought I was kidding about always typing it that way, didn't you?)

Before I lose my nerve, I'm going to post my weight right off the bat. I'm 150.8. I'm down 6 lbs total so far. Yay! I'm 1 lb away from my first goal (to be under 150). I can now fit into those pajama pants, but yeah, I totally have that fuzzy stuffed sausage thing going on. Not a good look for me (or anyone for that matter). But, hey, I can get them on now. That's one step in the right direction.

This past week was not a great one for me. We had fast food for the first time since I started this. My activity was limited too. I got more low-impact exercise in (lots and lots of walking), but not nearly as much higher impact stuff. So I need to make a point to combat that.

This week, I need to stop playing Wii Sports Resort and get back into the Wii Fit. I haven't used it since I was pregnant, but I had good results in the past. I think I need to have some more Weight Watchers-friendly crock pot meals ready so that I'm not tempted to go out to eat.

Does anyone out there have any great healthy recipes they've found that they really liked? If so, please share.

SHOES: I could do this.

2010-01-19T12:38:00.003-06:00

I've told you all before that I cannot use a sewing machine to save my life (what type of situation, exactly would one find oneself in where a sewing machine would save one's life?). I, however, still love crafts.

I just saw this tutorial at Prudent Baby for baby shoes and I think I could hand sew these. I'm not a big denim fan, so I probably wouldn't follow exactly, but I could absolutely do these with other material.

Stay tuned because if I do manage to pull this off, I'll be sure to post pictures.

In honor of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

2010-01-18T09:59:00.003-06:00

Here are some quotations from MLK Jr. that I want to share.

Dr. King, your message lives on.

"Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better. "

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom. "

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. "

"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. "

"Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. "

"He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. "

"The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be... The nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists. "

"The time is always right to do what is right."

I'm going green.

2010-01-14T10:59:00.010-06:00

I am now a proud member of the Green Team as part of Blog the Weight Away. Also as part of the Green Team (which yes, I WILL always insist on writing that way) are Stacey and Ilissa (I hope I spelled that right). We've been randomly assigned to (wait for it) the super awesome wonderfully astounding Green Team.

My goal is to lose 25 lbs from where I am now. I would love to lose more, but 25 lbs will get me down to a healthy weight. I want more energy. I want to know I'm eating healthy and in reasonable portions. There are a number of diseases that run in my family and, by being overweight, I'm putting myself at a greater risk. I want to know I'm doing everything I can to keep myself healthy. I want to set a good example for my children.

One of my big goals is to donate these damn maternity pants. I would love to fit back into "real" pants so I could get rid of the last of my maternity stuff. Plus, my mother bought me super soft pajama pants for Chanukah, but she, living far away, not seeing me and not realizing I've gotten fat, bought me a size small. I was going to return them, resigned to the fact I would never be a small again, but then I signed up for Blog the Weight Away and now I'm keeping them with plans of losing enough weight to fit into them (comfortably. I don't want to look like a bright pink striped sausage in them). Of course, this might be easier if my mother would stop sending bags and bags of baked good mixes, but that's another post for another day (Holy mixed messages, Batman!).

I have never, in my life, done this, but I am going to be truly accountable and post my weight. Please keep in mind that I am super tiny. I know many normal-sized people would love to be my weight and would be within a healthy BMI at where I am. For Keebler elf-sized folks like myself, though, this weight is super unhealthy.

My starting weight from 1/3 was 157 lbs. This past Monday 1/11, I was 152.8. I cannot believe I just told you people that. My husband doesn't even know what I weigh. The only person I ever told what I weighed was my midwife (and even then, reluctantly so) and that's only when I was pregnant and expected to gain weight (FTR, I was 161 lbs when I delivered the first two times and I was only 9 lbs higher than my starting weight when my youngest was born. She weighed over 8 lbs).

I'm trying to find a before picture, but, as you know, I like anonymity and don't show my face on here. So I may need to work my magic with that.

ETA: Here you go. Here's my "Before" shot. I didn't even need to slap anything over my face (I was going to use a Kermit face--get it? GREEN) I cannot believe I'm sharing this with you. I detest this photo of me.

Much needed good news

2010-01-13T11:59:00.003-06:00

I got some bad news last night. I couldn't sleep and was just generally down. I'm still "in a mood" right now.

So I'm trying to rejoice over the little things to counteract that.

Good news:

I stepped on the scale and I'm down another pound and a half. Wah hoo! I'm SO close to my first weight goal. I felt good enough today to put on my regular jeans--not the maternity ones or the stretchy yoga pants I've been wearing, but real jeans that require me to be able to shove myself in AND zip 'em up (unless, of course, I want to leave the zipper open and have my gut hanging out which is OH SO SEXY). I have to wear a billowy top over them, but they close without a problem. Yippee. This morning, while TheBaby napped, I had time to dye my hair AND clean the bathroom. I even had time to blow dry my hair (which I very rarely d0).

The kids are making their own lunches (I love having bigger kids) and later, we're headed out to the park with some friends. It's a local park too. I live pretty far from most of my friends, so I often have to travel to meet everyone. This time, everyone decided to meet at a park just a mile from my house. Yippee!

WW Comeback World Tour 2010

2010-01-11T10:28:00.005-06:00

So, I finished week 1 of my WW Comeback World Tour 2010 (it's more exciting if I give it a cool title. It's even more exciting if I insist on saying it in that deep "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Monster truck voice).

Not bad. In some ways, it's more difficult with 4 kids (I have to rely on the online version since I just can't fit meetings in sans kids). The most noticeable is that fast food is no longer an option if we're out and about. In some ways, it's easier (not as much time to eat).

The news, however, is very good. There is slightly less of my fat ass. My eligibility window to apply for the role of Super Fat Ass is closing. There are four pounds less of me than there were this time last week. When I added that to my weight tracker, I found I'm just under 3 lbs away from my first goal. Yay!

Here's hoping I continue to rock on with my bad-ass self.

My wish for the New Year

2010-01-04T11:37:00.004-06:00

There are many things I hope 2010 brings those I love. I figured I'd take the opportunity to share them with you all.

In 2010, I hope...

The stupid people stay far away from you.

That if a few of those stupid people wander into your path (or if they live in your house, so you have no other choice), I hope you have a really big stick, a great aim and a complete lack of remorse.

Should you be unable to beat the stupid people senseless, I hope you have the perfect comeback for their stupidity and that, after you slap them with that witty retort, they either change their ways and stop being stupid or they read this and FOLLOW THE FREAKING RULES.

That your children are absolute angels

And that if that last one doesn't happen and you're in public, I hope there's enough room to distance yourself from them so that no one realizes they're yours.

If they disregard that angel part and you're not in public, I hope you have a padded sound-proof room to shove them into until they CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

You have TWO padded sound-proof rooms so that you have the option of locking yourself in one if need be.

Someone finds the secret for yummy calorie-free (kosher) alcohol and chocolate.

Someone perfects that whole, "Beam me up, Scotty" machine.

You laugh at an endless supply of truly funny lolcats.

That your kids continue to supply you with an array of funny phrases.

That when your kids say those funny things, they do so quietly and FAR away from church/shul.

That the vast majority of your days are wonderful and you have one bad (but not awful) day a month so that you can always truly appreciate those great days.

Those around you always let you know how awesome you are.

That you continue to rock on with your bad-ass self.

This Little Piggy Went to Weight Watchers.

2010-01-04T08:55:00.003-06:00

I sucked it up and joined WW online. *exhales* Well, here we go. Now there's no turning back. And hey, I lost .2 lbs from yesterday. .2 lb loss? Hey, I'll take it!

Bulking up to what? Fat ass? Super fat ass?

2010-01-03T20:23:00.006-06:00

Forgive me for the title. It's a South Park reference. It's a line that, for some reason, has stuck with me for years and I find a way to work into many conversations. Yeah, I'm weird. I know. And unless you're new around here, you should know that too. If you are new. Hi. Welcome. Pull up a seat and stare at the fat ass.

I saw pictures of myself from this weekend. I. am. fat. I don't fit into any of my clothes. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I went from being a gym rat who was in the best shape of her life to this. I am not pleased.

I ate well in my pregnancy and exercised. I didn't exercise as much as I would have liked (we let my gym membership lapse to save money), but I exercised more than I did in any other pregnancy (the yoga positions helped quite a bit with pregnancy pains). Our first real meal after TheBaby was born was pizza (I was so thrilled to have white carbs). It's all been down hill since then.

I don't know how much I'll be able to exercise in the winter with 4 kids, but I'm going to figure something out. I think I'm going to bust out the Wii Fit again and maybe my Pilates DVD's. Great blog reviews leave me wondering about EA Sports. I want to sign my fat ass up for Weight Watchers again. I've had good luck with WW in the past. I've never done it exclusively online which is what I'll have to do. I don't have time (or child care) to go to meetings.

So, there, I've said it and I've done so in a public forum. (stands up, looks around sheepishly) Hi, my name is Reiza and I'm a fat ass.

I need to lose 30 lbs (50 lbs ideally). I would love for my first goal to be to get me out of my damn maternity pants by February. Well, I mean I want to fit into something smaller than my strechy-waist-designed-for-having-another-person-inside-you pants (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER), not that I want to run around sans pants.

An RSVP Allergy

2009-12-29T20:17:00.002-06:00

I've heard of dairy allergies. I know people allergic to peanuts. My whole freaking family is allergic to Penicillin. Until recently, though, I never knew there exists an allergy to replying. Are people all over the world suffering from this or just people on my guest list?

I recently planned an event and used an online invitation service. It allows people to respond quickly and easily whenever they have a free moment. It provides a link with all the information on the event in the very same place where one can click to confirm or refuse.

I found myself in a mild panic when, just days before the event, the majority of people hadn't even opened the invitation yet and of those who did, very few had replied. I've e-mailed. I've sent reminders. I've sent reminders using social networking sites. I've tried calling. Still, people refuse to RSVP.

I had two people call/message me to say they were coming. Well, thanks, but I really wanted you to reply through the site because it keeps a running tally of kids and adults so I have an exact number. It took more effort to call and send me a message than clicking the link would have taken.

Another person told me face-to-face that she couldn't come, but the site sent a reminder to everyone who hadn't responded. This person than replied to that message and E-MAILED ME to remind me about her conflict. The message she replied to had the link RIGHT THERE where she could have clicked to just mark, "No." It took her longer to reply than to click the link.

I was shocked to find that a number of people who didn't RSVP actually plan on coming. I had assumed they simply couldn't come, so they weren't bothering to reply. Then again, most of them NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT THE INVITATION.

This has made planning the event very difficult. I didn't know who to expect or how many.

Is this common? Are other people experiencing this as well? Have we just forgotten how to RSVP? Are the expectations different in different parts of the country/world?

Santa is dead.

2009-12-19T22:11:00.004-06:00

Dear strangers,

Please do not ask my children if Santa is coming to visit them. If you should violate that first rule, then please, when they answer, "No," to your question, do not insist they must be wrong. When they politely, but firmly, continue to deny that a fat bearded strange man will break into our house, please do not insist that then my wonderful Jewish children must have been very naughty. Otherwise, I may be forced to teach my children to then loudly announce, "No. We haven't been naughty at all. Lying to children, however, is very naughty."

And yes, they would recite that and, knowing my son, recite it loudly.

Simple Pleasures

2009-12-19T20:58:00.004-06:00

I had such a neat Shabbat. Last night, I was up reading until all hours. When I heard the baby start to fuss, I got her, brought her back to the rocking chair with me, nursed her and kept reading. When she was done, I put down the book, took her off, rocked her and just stared at her.

It was a sweet moment. I was awash in the oxytocin. TheBaby is so beautiful. I kissed her little forehead a bunch and ran my hand over her hair. We've known all along that she would be our last baby, so I've been lucky enough to make a point to savor these moments. I held her, felt her weight, and realized how much she has grown. I remember the 8 lb baby I pulled up and rested on my chest. That delicate little newborn has grown. Now, she's wearing 12 and 18 month clothing. She has these adorable gigantic thighs that just begged to be kissed and chubby cheeks that make you smile.

I'm finding a balance between wanting her to hurry up and begging her to slow down. I quite like this little island of balance. Here, I can enjoy her without reserving her spot in an Olympic level gymnastics class and also without trying desperately to shove her back in the womb (did I mention she's the size of a 1 year old? Yeah, not gonna happen. OW!).

Last night was so sweet because I was able to just rock there, taking her in, breathing her in and enjoying her.

Another simple gift idea

2009-12-14T15:31:00.001-06:00

When I ordered my free prints for that photo calendar, I found myself with 2 extra photos. So I created a 4x6 photo with 2 wallet-sized pictures. I did two of those so I had a wallet-sized photo of each child. I planned on just sending them to a set of grandparents, but then I had another idea. We have TONS of magnets on the fridge. I keep all those advertising ones that come in the mail with intentions of using them for a craft, but I never do.

Well, now I did. I used double-sided tape (a thin layer of glue would be a more permanent solution if you have time to wait for it to dry), stuck the photos on and trimmed them all down. Now, we have wallet-sized photo magnets to send as gifts and they didn't cost a cent.

This is only a test

2009-12-14T11:16:00.011-06:00

The reason for the season

2009-12-14T10:56:00.006-06:00

This time of year, we tend to get overwhelmed by the crowds at the malls, the traffic, and the hectic nature of it all (we've barely been home since Chanukah started because we've been at so many different events).

So, this time of year especially, we feel it's very important to remember to give back.

Here's what we're doing this year:

We donated our old coats to our synagogue's mitten menorah. They asked for new or slightly used coats, mittens, scarves, etc. So that's where the outgrown coats went.

We donated bags and bags of clothes to a local Veterans organization. All my maternity clothes went there (fare thee well, old friends) along with a whole host of the kids' old clothes. They picked up about 5 big garbage bags of clothes.

Our kids give tzedakah at Sunday school, which, this month, is going to a local food pantry. They've given both money and cans of pasta sauce which they bought themselves with their allowance money (can't beat 25 cents a can).

In an attempt to simply, we instituted the rule that, for each new item, an old one must go. So, we're cleaning out toy and book bins and donating them to that same Veteran's group.

How about you? What are you doing this holiday season? How do you teach your kids to give back?

This blog post is written as part of the Twitter Moms Holiday blog prompt in association with Robeez.

Robeez will donate a pair of soft sole shoes to K.I.D.S. with every soft sole purchased through December 23rd

For anyone looking for a gift idea this holiday season, these are the Robeez I would love for my daughter.

BloWriNoMore

2009-12-04T08:46:00.000-06:00

Well, I failed that blogging every day for a month thing. I think I probably should have gotten right back up on that horse, but I lacked the motivation. I know I would have been disqualified anyway since I missed a day, but I still could have used the forced motivation.

Sure, I'm talkative, but I don't see a need to be someone who blogs every day. Still, I welcomed the opportunity to do it because I've really fallen out of the habit of blogging lately. Forcing myself to write did help motivate me to write some recent posts that I'm glad I had the chance to explore.

I'm disappointed in myself for failing. I am NOT the type who takes failure well. The fastest way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't.

So I'm struggling to figure where to go from here.

December is in full-swing now, so I'm a little late to the party as far as trying to blog for another month. Plus, December is a rough month with Chanukah and winter break and all that jazz. Still, I may try it from here and dedicate myself to blogging every day for 30 days. I just need to prove to myself that I can do it and I'd really appreciate the motivation.

Don't worry. I have no plans on making this every day thing permanent. Hello! Did you see how I struggled with just one freaking month?

Super simple gift idea

2009-11-23T14:54:00.002-06:00

Seehere is offering 100 free prints and free shipping to new users. I ordered cards from them, but haven't received them yet, so I can't yet give you my opinion on their prints or service. I'm hearing good things about them on the interwebs from others who have already received their cards, though.

In the Target dollar aisle (aka my nirvana), I found some calendars with spots for a 4x6 photo on each month. I saw "My family," and "My grandchildren," ones. We grabbed two of the grandchildren ones for both sets of grandparents. I plan to order my free prints and put them in the calendars.

It's an easy, quick and super cheap gift. When the year is over, the grandparents still have 12 prints too.

The bloggers were nestled all snug in their bedsWhile visions of blog posts danced in their heads.

2009-11-23T14:19:00.003-06:00

And then they woke up and EVERY BRILLIANT IDEA WAS GONE.

Why oh why does this happen? Lately, when I can't fall asleep, I have visions of future post ideas dancing in my head. I've had 3 or 4 that I thought were great and wanted to file away to work on this month. Yet, every single time, when I wake up, they're gone. I remember the gist of some of them, but not the specific ideas about which I had planned to write.

Why oh why does my brain do this to me? I needed those ideas, damn it! Give them back!

FAIL Blog

2009-11-20T13:33:00.003-06:00

[089/365] FAIL 3.30.9
Originally uploaded by daniela//amaya

I guess I failed at this blog every day thing. I've gone a few days without blogging, without publishing at least. I actually did start entries, but didn't finish them and didn't publish them.

Now what? Do I write extra posts to make up for the missed days? Do I just give up and go back to only blogging once in a blue moon? I have no idea where to go from here.

Jewish Meme

2009-11-17T22:30:00.006-06:00

Phyllis over there at Ima On (and Off) the Bima posted a Jewish Meme. I'll play along.

One menorah, or several?

Before we had kids, we had two--the beautiful silver one we picked out together after we were married and the electric one Bubbe gave us which we display in the window (see above). It doesn't fulfill the mitzvah, but the bulbs never die and it looks pretty in the window.

Then we had kids and those kids started attending religious school where, every year, they make new chanukiyot. They're cute enough, but they're unending.

Do you buy your children gifts for every night of Chanukah?

No, although they do get gifts for every night. Those gifts are just often provided by grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends. Oh and we prefer not to buy gifts at all. I love making as much as I can.

Do you and your spouse/partner or any other adults in your life exchange gifts?

We usually get gifts for our parents and we typically get a few things for each other. While that usually involves one fairly substantial gift, it often involves a few little things.

Special family chanukah traditions?

I don't know that we do anything particularly new or different.

Chanukah is one of the rare times the kids can have chocolate. They do so love chocolate gelt. So they get even more excited every Chanukah (and Purim which is another time they're allowed some of that lovely chocolately goodness) because they're allowed to have that. We light the plastic menorah in the window, but so do many others. We hang up whatever hand-made decorations have survived. We have a pretty cloth hanging that my oldest sister gave us which we always put up on the front door. Like I said, nothing very new/different.

Latkes or sufganiyot? If latkes, sour cream or applesauce?

Both, but I'm a bigger fan of latkes, but with nothing extra. No sour cream or applesauce for me, thankyouverymuch.

Favorite chanukah book?

One that does NOT play, "I have a little dreidle."

I can't find the book and I can't remember what holiday it was about, so it could be Chanukah, but I'm not certain. It's a children's book about a little Jewish girl in the city at a big party and there's a room where the adults can privately take or donate money. I really like that book.

As far as books whose titles I CAN remember and which I'm absolutely certain are actually about the correct holiday, I'd go with, "It's a Miracle! A Hanukkah Storybook" by Stephanie Spinner.

EDITED TO ADD:

I just remembered a book about the Shoah and a survivor and a potato that a friend got for my kids and I can never make it through that book without tearing up. Ugh. I can't find the book and searching online is proving to be useless. In the story, the grandmother (Rose?) is a survivor and each year, she repeats how she celebrated in the camps--she hollows out a potato and adds oil and string and lights it for Chanukah.

FOUND IT: One Candle by Eve Bunting.

Do you actually play dreidl? If so, what do you use for counters?

Yes we do. At home, we usually use animal crackers or pretzels. At the synagogue, they use M&Ms.

What relationship, if any, do you have with Christmas and all things Christmas-y?

We pretty much try to avoid anything Xmas-related. We even try to avoid the malls and all that jazz.

I do like to scour the ornament sales after Xmas to find cute ones that don't look at all like Xmas, though. There's nothing Jesusy about a pink glittery ballet slipper, but it does look awfully cute in my daughters' bedroom.

Oh and I do occasionally rewrite Xmas songs for my own amusement.

I don't know how many fellow yids I have as readers who haven't done this one yet. So if you haven't and you want to, consider yourself tagged.

The Anonymity of Fame

2009-11-16T22:15:00.009-06:00

Every once in a while, I start wondering if I could be a little less anonymous. I try hard to keep much of my identifying information to myself. Shhhh, it's a secret from the Blogosphere. I don't post pictures of my kids. I don't reveal names. You won't find our home state anywhere on this blog. I've never mentioned my husband's career or what branch of the military in which he served.

This, however, means that I must go to great lengths to keep my private life and my my little lovenest here in the blogosphere separate. Some days, I just want to tear those walls down and share with folks on both sides.

I think my kids are cute and I'd love to show you some of the adorable pictures I've taken of them over the years. I have video footage of my husband's homecoming that I wish I could post. I'd love to be able to make some videos for vlog posts. Heck, I'd like to be able to come out and say, "Yeah, that's me." I've skipped events for bloggers and twitter meetups because I'm fairly anonymous. I need to be careful so that the twitterverse and my personal life don't mix and that's very difficult to do.

Every once in a while, I go through a phase where I come *this* close to outing myself. Although, usually, when that happens, something smacks me in the face and reminds me exactly why I like my anonymity. My last outing phase came crashing down in flames when Gina at The Feminist Breeder had incidents with a stalker. That creep knew WAY too much about Gina and was harassing her. Well, that stomped all over my desire to let myself be known. Situations like that remind me exactly why I try so hard to keep my information private. On the internets, you just never know. This blog has gotten hits from all over the world. I find that both fascinating and frightening.

I can sense my inner pendulum swinging back the other way, though. I'm, once again, beginning to wonder about sharing more information.

What about you? How much information do you share? Have you ever regretted it? Has being known in the blogosphere ever helped you? Has it created problems?

Useful Insomnia, Just Add NaBloPoMo.

2009-11-15T00:22:00.002-06:00

I've found a previously unidentified use for this NaBloPoMo challenge. When one drinks far too much coffee in the evening and then tosses and turns in bed in a state that in no way resembles sleep, one can use that time to wrack one's brain for blog topics.

Through my mind last night raced various ideas--some I've been planning to blog about for months and some that just came to me in that moment where all I wanted was TO GET SOME FREAKING SLEEP.

Let's see if I have enough coffee left in the house so that I can counter-act that lack of sleep with enough energy to actually write those posts.

Shabbat Mornings = Perfection

2009-11-14T20:30:00.004-06:00

On weekday morning, my husband is up at the crack of dawn for work. He says his goodbyes and leaves. The kids get up to play and I try to sleep as long as they let me.

On Sunday mornings, dh usually gets up with the kids, so I can stay in bed a little bit. Still, I have to get out of bed at a reasonable hour so we can dash off to Sunday school.

On Shabbat mornings, though, everything is different.

This morning was absolutely perfect and I really needed that. I think we all did. TheBaby woke up, so I brought her to bed to nurse her. She noticed daddy was asleep next to her. After nursing for just a little while, she came off, smacked at him calling sweetly, "Dada, Dada, hi. Hi, Dada." He woke up smiling and held out his hand to her. While holding his finger, she went back to nursing for a little while. Then she came off again to smile at us both and crawl up to our faces where the chatting and smiling continued. The three of us stayed in bed like that for a while. It was so sweet and so calm.

It was exactly what we needed.

"More than the Jewish people have kept Shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jewish people "

I swear, my husband controls Twitter WITH HIS MIND.

2009-11-13T15:11:00.005-06:00

My husband wants a new t.v. For those who have been following, you may remember that we don't have a television. We have what was once a television, but is now a glorified monitor. We cancelled cable to save money (and oh howdy, have we!) before the digital switch and, since then we've had nothing but blue screens. We weren't interested in a converter box because we fell out of the habit of watching television and we like it that way.

We do have game systems hooked up to there, though and my brilliant husband found PlayOn which allows us to stream Hulu and files saved on our computers through those game systems on to our t.v. which really isn't a t.v. anymore.

He made lots of trade-ins and sales on Craig's List so that he could afford a PS3. Now, he's dying for a new t.v. on which to play and watch movies. Our monitor which was once a t.v. is pretty old and very frill-less (which should be obvious from the fact that it wasn't capable of handling the digital switch). He's been doing his research and has found some great deals. When asked what we should do for each other for Chanukah, he informed me that all he really wants is a new t.v.

So, when I opened my mail and saw, "LCD TV Deals (TheLCDTVDeals) is now following your tweets on Twitter," I stuck my head out of the office and yelled, "This is YOUR fault." He was baffled and asked me, "How?" Honestly, I have no freaking clue, but this has to be his fault somehow. My best guess is that he's somehow controlling Twitter WITH HIS MIND.

That's it. That's gotta be it. There really is no other explanation, right? Who's with me? Anyone?

"I am no superman. I have no answers for you. I am no hero oh that's for sure, but I do know one thing, where you are is where I belong."

2009-11-12T14:04:00.003-06:00

My thanks are extended to @Kblogger for tweeting lyrics to Dave Matthews Band's "Where Are You Going."

After yesterday's heavy post, I had no idea what to write. I don't want anything quite that heavy because, honestly, I'm STILL exhausted from writing yesterday's post. At the same time, I don't want to write about random funny things the kids said or product reviews or anything too frivolous.

That song, however, is one I listened to quite a bit during dh's deployments, so I'm using it as inspiration.

Yes, I stayed with my husband through the hell that is PTSD. I've been very open about the fact that I nearly left once. Well, twice, really, but the first time was after his first deployment to the Middle East and I didn't have this blog then.

I really do miss the man my husband once was, but I love who he has become. Yes, I liked my husband more before he was forever altered, but I admire him more now.

Where are you going
with your long face pulling down?
Don’t hide away like an ocean
But you can’t see, but you can smell
And the sound waves crash down

There was a long time after he came home when he wasn't himself at all. He lived inside his head. He still does this far more than he used to before he deployed. No, I don't like that one bit. He dealt with the physical distance by distancing himself. It's what he needed to do to cope. You can't just snap out of that after months and months, though. He's been home for years and he hasn't completely come out of that.

Yes, it leaves me feeling lonely. I've known loneliness when my husband was a world away. It's a far different type of loneliness when he's lying beside you at night, but isn't really there. I've told him, "I miss you," to his face. That is absolutely crushing.

I am no superman
I have no reasons you
I am no hero, oh that’s for sure
But I do know one thing for sure
Is where you are is where I belong

Still, he is there beside me at night. He could have decided he had no desire to stay with someone who pestered him to get help. He could have decided he had enough stress over there and could do without any from me. Family life is stressful as hell. He could have walked away. He didn't. True, he is far less patient with the kids than he was before he deployed, but every evening, you can find him reading bedtime stories to them all on one of their beds.

He does what he can. We just have to adjust our expectations of what he can do.

And above all, this line still rings very true for me,

I do know, where you go, is where I want to be.

It's been frustrating for me (and I say, "Me," not "Us" because the children don't remember what he was like before. I find that both crushing and comforting), but I've just had to be a support. I just stand by and watch. He's the one who has had to do the searching. He's the one who took the misguided drugs prescribed by the military doctors. He's the one who had visceral reactions to noises that reminded him of the desert. He's the one who still suffers physical pain.

Where are you going, where do you go?
Are you looking for answers
to questions under the stars?
If along the way you are growing weary,
You can rest with me until a brighter day
It's okay. You're okay.

No, he's not the same. He is better than he was in the months following his homecoming. Maybe some day he'll be more like the man I married over a decade ago. He's not the same, but he is "Okay." We're okay. Yes, I do mourn who he was and I feel lonely now and then, but I love that man! I love our life. Don't let my melancholy posts fool you. I love that man with so much intensity that it's overwhelming. We share a life. We share understanding. We share a deep love.

Tell me where are you going, where do you go?
Where? Let's go.

Veterans' Day: Every time we say, "Good bye," you're frozen in my mind as the child that you never will be again.

2009-11-11T10:09:00.013-06:00

First and foremost, I present my previous ramblings about Veterans' Day.

I've always taken issue with the use of the phrase, "Happy Veterans' Day." There is no such thing!

I don't often let myself think about how being a veteran has changed my husband. On this day, though, there is no hiding from it. Last night was one of the rare nights when I let myself break down and cry about how becoming a veteran has changed him. He, however, didn't notice I was upset. He doesn't anymore. If he did, he didn't say anything about it. He doesn't do that either anymore.

The changes in him caused by PTSD as a result of his deployments go by largely unnoticed. Every once in a while, though, I'm painfully aware of how very different he is. Last night was one of those nights.

When he deployed, I stood there in tears clutching small children watching as my husband filed onto a bus and pulled away for the airport on two different occasions. The first time, I fell to the ground screaming crying while I clutched two toddlers--each arm around one. A mother I had never met came up to me, said nothing, but hugged me tightly. I cried as my husband was taken away. I had no idea that I would never see that same man again. I worried that he would never come back alive. I had no idea he could return, but so very very changed.

I stood at the airport, not once, but twice and ran to him when he came home, but the arms that held me tentatively belonged to a man completely altered by war. Even after therapy and drugs, he's not the man I married. I can never express how grateful I am that he survived those deployments. I worry that some will think I'm being whiny and ungrateful. I am so very thankful that he is alive. I have Sheheyanu-ed many many times. Still, I mourn for the man he was.

I love this man. Despite the hell we went through, I love this man. I have a new respect for this man who came home and was willing to work through these problems not once, but twice. But you know what? I loved the man he was too. I liked that man far more.

I miss the man who would rub my back in bed. I miss the man who would randomly reach out and hold me. I miss the man who was more aware of the world around him. I miss the man whose main interaction with his children was talking to them or playing with them rather than screaming at them. I miss the man who had enough patience to deal playfully with his children.

When TheBaby was born earlier this year, I saw glimpses of just how sweet and gentle my husband once was. He cooed at her. He held her and refused to put her down saying, "The others had to be without me for so long. She doesn't have to, so I don't want to make her."

With the others, he has very little patience. Yes, he's a good father and he loves them dearly, but he can't deal with them the way he used to. The "War,"stomped all over anything remotely resembling patience that he once had. It takes very little to annoy him. I find myself pleading with the kids, "Please don't even ask Daddy. You know how he gets."

Our poor son has it the worst of all. Dh was gone for TheBoy's first year and you can absolutely see the detachment. They butt heads a lot and dh often has no idea how to parent him. TheBoy is a good kid. He's smart and sweet and very stubborn. Dh adored him as a baby, but by missing so much of our son's first year, it created a rift.

After the first war-time deployment, when dh came home to our twins, they were initially a bit timid, but in only a matter of moments, they excitedly, "Daddy! Daddy-ed," at him. With our son, I placed him in dh's arms and while TheBoy didn't fuss, he obviously didn't know who that man was. TheBoy was the only one of our children for whom "Dada," wasn't one of the first words (it was both the twins' first word). When he did start saying it, it meant, "Telephone," because that's all he knew of his daddy.

I feel badly complaining because my husband is still a great man. He parents. He helps at home. He supports me in our decisions. He's generally a nice guy. But you know what? The man I married was even better. The man I married was gentle. This man is gruff. The man I married was sweet. This man ignores. The man I married wanted to be a more attached and loving parent than his parents were. This man calls his children, "pain in the ass" behind their backs and is more likely to yell AT them rather than talk WITH them.

This man is a veteran. The man I married is gone. I hate Veterans' Day because today, of all days, I'm thankful for my husband's sacrifice, but I'm painfully aware that I traded the wonderful man who was my husband for this man who is so very changed--this veteran.

The title is from this song.

2009-11-10T22:10:00.000-06:00

courtesy of the Custom Receipt Maker

Manic Monday: Courage

2009-11-09T22:27:00.003-06:00

Manic Monday asks (among other things), "What does it mean to you to have courage?"

I don't think I had a good working definition of "Courage" until I had children. When my twins were probably around 2 or 3, Girl1 was afraid of something or other. I can't remember specifically what it was, but I do remember that she was willing to try whatever it was that scared her despite that fear. I remember telling her, "Being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid. It means that you ARE afraid, but you're willing to try anyway." I then pointed out that she showed real courage in facing her fears.

I've used that definition quite a bit with all the kids. When my son insists, "I can't. I'm afraid," I have a two-fold answer for him. First off, my children are repeatedly told that there's nothing they can't do without help. Instead of, "I can't," they say, "I need help," or "I don't know if I can, but I'll try." Secondly, I remind him that it's okay to be afraid, but asking for help and trying shows courage. "I know you're afraid. I know you can be brave too."

Do birds on wires wear kippot?

2009-11-08T22:39:00.006-06:00

bird on a wire
Originally uploaded by emmzies

My middle daughter has a fabulous story to explain the phenomenon of birds on wires. When she sees them lining up, she announces that they're waiting for fireworks. Apparently, birds have firework shows that only they can see. These are most likely to happen around dusk, but they can occur at any time. Our fine feathered friends line up before showtime to wait on fireworks. This information was first shared with us by our middle daughter one July fifth.

Apparently, birds line up for a variety of reasons, not just fireworks. Birds line up on wires for Hebrew school too. Of course, this information was shared with me by my eldest daughter while on her way to Hebrew school. I didn't think to ask if birds wear tiny kippot in their Hebrew school of wire.

I suspect we will learn about other reasons for birds on wires as we witness it more and more often on our way to other events.

One adult friend of mine swears they're alcoholics since she sees them lined up every morning on her way to work, not on wires, but on the sign for a liquor store. I think I'll keep that story under wraps for at least a few more years. :)

I love that! I love how my children can observe something seemingly mundane and can weave an elaborate tale around it--a tale which directly relates to their lives in a number of ways. I can't wait to hear their explanations for everything else they happen to observe.

And I love that my friends are smart asses too. :D

5 for 5

2009-11-07T23:50:00.006-06:00

In search of blog inspiration, I found my way here where I found this prompt: List 5 people you know. Then describe each of them in 5 words.

Dh
1. Quiet
2. Thoughtful
3 & 4 Easily over-whelmed
5. Misunderstood

Girl1
1. Quirky
2 & 3 Free spirit
4. Twin
5. Outgoing

Girl2
1. Stubborn
2 & 3 Loves reading
4. Twin
5. Talkative

TheBoy
1 & 2. Loves attention
3. Sweet
4. Loving
5. Unique

TheBaby
1. Chubby
2. Smiley
3 & 4 Gorgeous eyes
5. Determined

IMG_4419
Originally uploaded by Genna B

An open letter to the world in regards to this huge circus of people I call a family

2009-11-06T13:57:00.014-06:00

Dear world,

Yes, I know I have children. Yes, I know I have more than the 2.3 that has become the norm. Yes, I really do dare to step outside my home with said children. You've noticed. I know. What you may not have noticed, however, is we want, we adore and we are responsible for and with our children.

I'm sure you didn't notice that. How could you? You were far too busy gasping from shock at the sight of our gaggle of children. That sharp inhale of copious amounts of oxygen must have left you light-headed to the point where you missed that entirely. I realize the sight of four children is simply shocking. I apologize for not always having an extra person with me to catch the fainting folks who are so stunned at the sight of our gigantic reality-show-sized family.

I'll make you a deal. I'll try to be more considerate if you try to be less of a moron. What say you, world? Do we have a deal?

Sincerely,
Reiza (and the huge family you think should be featured on TLC)

Photo courtesy of Awkward Family Photos. I suspect this is how my family appears to most folks.

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.

2009-11-05T22:54:00.003-06:00

High school football

Originally uploaded by kbooth

Old friends have come barreling into my life lately at full-speed. Have you ever witnessed a high school football team run on to the field charing through paper barriers? Yeah, it's kind of like that.

I absolutely adore social media for this opportunity. I've been able to find people I considered best friends when I was younger. I've been able to find friends from dance class that I knew from the time I was a toddler. I've been able to reconnect with old neighbors who moved away. In some cases, I've been able to make friends of those I only considered acquaintances many years ago.

Just recently, an old friend rode the train of social media right back into my life. I've been searching for her for years with no luck. I always wondered what had become of her. I've wondered and worried. Many of us did. When she went off to college, she simply vanished. We never heard from her again. Now, many years later, I have found her and I'm thrilled. She's doing well, she looks very much like she used to and she has a little boy who shares the same distinctive eyes with his mama.

True, some people you find again only to discover that you've grown apart, but even then, just knowing that they're okay and getting a glimpse into their lives is so exciting and something we never dreamed of years ago. And then, there are those you rediscover and find you can pick up right where you left off.

"When somebody knows you, well, there's no comfort like that."

On my own, pretending he is beside me

2009-11-04T21:11:00.008-06:00

A friend recently said something along the lines of, "I should be in single-mom mode all the time. It's the only way things get done. Leaving things for my husband to do hasn't worked at all, but if I do them, it's less stress because I know they'll get done."

My sister is headed out of town for a pretty stressful event. She has to leave early in the morning. She told me she had to make sure to make the kids' lunches before then. When I asked why her husband couldn't do it in the morning, she said he made lunch for the kids once and screwed it up. So now she has to do it all the time.

I find myself struggling with my husband more so recently in regards to housework. Still, he does a portion of the work around here. He did a larger portion in years past and I'd like to find a better balance, but he does some work regardless. This is his home too.

My husband's lower level of help falls at "mildly annoying," on the "Giant Scale of Suckage." Sometimes, the refusal to help is absolutely vicious. A hugely pregnant friend's husband refused to do the one thing she needed help with around the house (and anything else for that matter. She did absolutely everything else), so after asking and then making it impossible for him to ignore, she had to do it herself (this was a big task and involved heavy moving/lifting) and wound up spotting in late pregnancy. She was fine and brushed it off, but I was absolutely furious. This was years ago, but it still makes my blood boil even now.

I don't mean to sound anti-male. I absolutely detest male bashing. It's just that many of my friends' husbands leave me ranging from baffled to absolutely fuming with their behavior. These are exhausted women who are busting their butts at home, with their kids, with various projects, with work outside the home, etc. So why do their husbands expect them to do it all alone? Why is it acceptable for their husbands to do so?

What on earth is going on? How is this acceptable?

Ruby Tuesday: Valentines Past

2009-11-03T11:28:00.004-06:00

I needed inspiration, so I found Ruby Tuesday. I then went on a brief hunt around the house and found those red hearts. They're on a Valentine's Day card my paternal grandfather gave my grandmother many moons ago (there's no date in the card, so I can't be certain of exactly how old it is).

That card sits on a shelf in my hallway. While my grandmother passed away long before I was born, I've been told I remind people of her. My mother swears my grandmother would have loved me.

My grandfather was an alcoholic. Both of them were actually. My mother's father drank himself to death (literally. He died of liver cancer alone in a pauper's hospital). My father's father straightened himself up and was sober for many years.

I've heard my mother rave about how my paternal grandmother suffered through her husband's alcoholism without a complaint. My mom always seemed to think this was ideal. I, however, never liked that one bit. My goal is to elicit change, not sit by placidly like a good little girl with my hands folded neatly in my lap.

Old photos of my grandmother show a lively spirit and quirky sense of humor that always spoke to me. I absolutely see myself in those examples. But the quiet little complacent wife? Not so much.

Then, my father (whose collection of family stories is unending) told me a tale that helped endear me to my grandmother more than ever before. Apparently, my grandfather and one of his brothers decided to play a trick on my grandmother. Quite some time after grandpa stopped drinking, he and my great uncle came staggering home pretending to be drunk. When my grandmother saw and heard them heading down the walk, she grabbed a baseball bat and chased them away, swearing the whole time and refusing to let them near the house if they'd been drinking.

Now THAT I can absolutely see myself doing. And I suspect that is a more accurate picture of my grandmother.

FTR, my grandparents were madly in love until the end. She saved some of her wedding flowers pressed in a memory book. She had a hope chest full of cards he had given her over the years. The first morning after they were married, he took a picture of the first meal she ever made for him. He photographed her often and in all those images, the love and awe he felt for her is obvious. More than 30 years after they were married, she suffered a heart attack while dancing in his arms and she died.

Under pressure.

2009-11-02T19:03:00.005-06:00

I'm tense. I have no idea why. It came out of nowhere. I was tired, but in a decent mood.

Then dh came home and he was distracted. I really just wanted him to take TheBaby, change her into jammies, and give me 10 minutes to rest, but he had to run back out again. So while he changed her diaper, he gave her right back. No rest for me. I nursed her and put her to bed and then did some other things around the house. At that point, I was in a pretty good mood.

Then dh came back and was snippy. When I asked him not to be snippy, he then got annoyed that I thought he was. Oh boy!

Dinner sucked. I'm exhausted. Husband's snippy (even if he is annoyed that I think so).

Not a good combination at all.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

How TheBoy Became My Favorite

2009-11-01T20:37:00.003-06:00

Today, dh joked with TheBoy about his hair.

"You look like Spock," dh told TheBoy.
"No I don't," he shot back.
I told TheBoy, "You're gorgeous. Tell Daddy, 'I'm gorgeous.' Go on. Tell him."
My son then announced, "Mommy's gorgeous."

Need a good laugh?

2009-10-28T19:36:00.002-06:00

Go read this. I'm crying from laughing so hard. Stupid people may piss me off, but brilliant people brighten my day. Brilliant sarcastic people are my very own ray of sunshine.

Head over to Deb on the Rocks and read about her e-mail battle of the wits. It's not too long, but it is hysterical.

Keyword Analysis

2009-10-26T20:52:00.003-06:00

While looking through my stats, I realized that someone found their way here in an attempt to discover, "Reasons why children shove things in nose."

Oh, hun, I have NO FREAKING IDEA, but yeah, I feel your pain.

Halloween: unexpected money-saving tips

2009-10-26T20:20:00.000-06:00

By now, you've seen all the articles with tips about making/borrowing/repurposing costumes to save money. I'm not going to waste your time with that. I'm going to share some tips about Halloween that you might not have expected.

1. Buy Halloween socks when they go on sale. In the days/weeks after Halloween, they can go down to as little as a few cents per pair (I spent 12 cents on a pair at Wal-Mart last year). They often come in dark colors, particularly black. This is VERY useful for kids. We bought a ton of them last year and our kids make sure to wear those when we go to indoor play structures. Those places often get their socks very dirty, but with black, no worry about stains.

2. Stock up on Halloween goodies for birthday party goody bags. Last year, we bought those tiny packs of crayons and some glow necklaces half price after Halloween. If we had waited, we could have gotten them even cheaper when they went down to 75% off. We gave them out in goody bags for our son's birthday party. Packs of pencils are particularly useful for this. You can sometimes find a pack of 10+ pencils for a quarter once they go all the way down. If you don't want the Halloween designs, have stickers available at the party and make decorating the pencils one of the crafts/activities.

3. Some Halloween shirts work year-round. I see Wal-Mart has some super cute "costume" shirts this year. They're things like rock star, pirate, zombie, etc. These are cute year round. Some t-shirts are very definitely Halloween, but if you don't mind, you can buy them on sale (they often go down to $1 each and even less) to use throughout the year. Some can be used at other times without being obviously dated. My son had some very "Punk rock" ones that just featured skulls and crossbones. They were Halloween sale finds, but he wore them all the time and lots of people told us how much they liked them.

4. Those color hair sprays are a quick and cheap way to prevent the, "I'm booooooooored," chorus. You can grab them cheap after Halloween. Our homeschool group brings tons of these to summer parties to let the kids go wild. I advise parental intervention and I will tell you that they can stain the skin, but if you're stuck inside on a cold afternoon, you could always head outside with a can of hair color and a towel to cover the kid's clothes and come in with super cute pink hair.

5. Once costumes are dirt cheap, grab some of the basics to use in the future. Black robes are always useful. Wings can be used in a number of costumes. We have a box full of them and I can't tell you how much use we've gotten from them. Capes work with a variety of costumes. Stay away from the trendy costumes (no Hannah Montana wigs or Borat bathing suits), but grab some basics if you can. That gives you the ability to throw together a costume next year cheaply.

6. Throw a Halloween-themed party at another time of the year. My son has decided he wants such a theme for his birthday party in the winter because he wants an excuse to dress up. Fine by me. I'll grab a punch of Halloween-themed party supplies when they go on sale and save myself a ton. This is useful for lots of different holidays. I buy Valentine's Day goody bags/party goods/trinkets to use for my twins' birthday party every year. This past year, I bought those huge packs of lip gloss/nail polish for a deep discount after Xmas, opened the package and split them up in goody bags. We got 25 lip glosses/nail polish bottles for $2 total.

What do you think? Will any of these work for you? What tips do you have to add?

The Borrowers: Tips and Tricks for Keeping Your Sanity (and your stuff)

2009-10-19T14:48:00.006-05:00

Do you loan things out? How often do you get them back ruined? How often do you never get them back at all? Do you borrow things? Do you find you can't remember where you put those shoes your sister loaned you for your baby? Have you ever given back a crib covered in vomit? Have you ever simply not returned things you borrowed?

I have been very blessed in that I have friends who have passed along items to me. It has saved me thousands of dollars. More often than not, those items are given to me, not loaned, but I do occasionally borrow things from friends. It can really be a life-saver. It can also, however, cause much frustration.

I often find myself loaning things to friends/family. Well, I DID. I don't know if I will any longer. I've had a few negative experiences (and one AWFUL experience where my entire maternity wardrobe was thrown away) and at this point, even though some of my friends/family have been wonderful about the things they've borrowed, it's just not worth it.

Since there seems to be some question about what to do/not to do in this situation, I'm compiling a list of the do's and don'ts. Feel free to add your own.

1. Know the difference between loaned and given. If you're being given something, ask, "Do you want this back?" If you're loaning something, be absolutely clear that you will need that item back. Don't mince words. I suggest, in addition to asking/telling in person, double-check via e-mail. That way, if you're borrowing the things, there's no question. If you're loaning the things and people later claim they thought it was a gift, you can pull up that e-mail.

2. Do no loan things with sentimental value. If someone tries to loan such things to you, do NOT take them. From both sides, you never know what will happen. So while it is a lovely gesture to loan that adorable Halloween costume you made for your child's first Halloween to a friend, I advise against it. Family may be a different story, though. Yes, wearing mom or grandma's wedding gown is a wonderful tradition.

3. Be specific about when you need something back. When loaning a too big shirt to a friend because her child is a size bigger than yours, make certain you say, "I'll need that back when my child is in a 6." That way, hopefully, you can avoid seeing that child's younger sister sporting that exact same loaned shirt once yours fits into a 6. *

4. If you destroy it (or don't get it back to them in time because you did pass it along to another child), you MUST do something. Talk to the person who loaned it. How you make it up to them is really up to them. You can't just buy something else and call it good. Maybe they prefer if you repair the piece. Maybe they'll offer to repair it themselves. Maybe they'll want it replaced. Maybe they'll tell you not to worry. It's up to them, though.

5. If you loan something that is destroyed, be reasonable. Yes, they have an obligation to do something about it, but you don't necessarily have the right to demand they replace that 5 year old dress with an expensive brand new one.

6. Return something in at least the same condition you received it. If you've ripped it, set it on fire, doused it in oil, used it as a litter box, hosted a flea circus on it, etc, do NOT simply pack it in a box and pass it back. Let the person know and then see #4. Please, look over items carefully before you return them. If things like being used as a littler box or a site for a flea circus are normal for you, they're probably not for other people. A good rule is to always thoroughly clean things even better than you would your own.

7. Do NOT pass along borrowed things to others without permission.

8. Ask people first if they even want to borrow your items in the first place. On the flip side, if someone is offering you something that you really don't want/need, tell them. If you get a box of children's clothes and find you only plan to use a few items, pass the others back immediately. That can help prevent problems (see #9).

9. Know where loaned items are. Don't pack them away with your things in the attic. Don't shove them in the back of the closet. When you're done with them, PASS THEM BACK asap.

10. Be realistic. Items will have some wear and tear. Although, scribbling all over something with permanent marker falls outside the definition of, "Normal wear and tear." Be prepared for some wear. If you're not comfortable with that, don't loan the item. If you know someone is a perfectionist about clothes and will notice the slightest loose thread (aka: my mom), it might be best to politely decline if they offer to loan you something.

How about you? Do you have any guidelines that you think could help? Have you had a bad experience? A great one? Leave me a comment. I'm always curious to hear.

*Yes, I'm speaking from experience. No, don't worry. If you're reading this, you can rest assured this is not about you.

It's been called a, "Handful," but never an, "Honor."

2009-10-12T23:20:00.003-05:00

I have four children. That's what we always wanted. During my last pregnancy, people apologized to me for the fact that I was having yet another one. Everyone wanted to tell me how rough it would be. People just love to ask, Have you figured out what causes that?" The most common phrase people use when they see us all out is, "You sure have your hands full!" They've been saying this ever since my twins were born and they were my first (and second) children. I usually bite my tongue because you never know what other people are going through, but I always think, "Better full than empty."

We don't consider our family to be all that large, but others seem to be absolutely shocked that we have oh so very many (insert eye roll) children.

So, on Simchat Torah, when we were HONORED for bringing the most children rather than ostracized for it, I felt wonderful.

I love Simchat Torah--love it. It's one of my very favorite holidays. This year, was probably the best yet. My oldest daughters did Israeli dancing with the adults and they sang with their Hebrew school (and did so wonderfully. My oldest daughter really surprised me with her poise and her knowledge). TheBaby fell asleep in my arms after nursing. She slept through all the singing and dancing, but I danced around with her in my arms anyway. TheBoy grabbed flags and ran and danced around with the others. My husband slunk back and tried to hide because he's not a big dancer and doesn't much like the spotlight (yes, it's true what they say about opposites attracting).

Before all the singing and dancing, though, the rabbi announced that the family with the most children in attendance would be called up to open the ark. That was us. So we all went up to do that. It was so nice to honored rather than pitied.

Dinner in a flash.

2009-10-05T09:14:00.002-05:00

TwitterMoms and Samsung asked for at least 3 tips for getting dinner ready in a flash. I may be the last person you want to ask about that. I CAN cook, but I'd rather not. I figure, I'm not alone, though, so here are what works for me.

1. Have your husband cook. Who cares if it's done quickly? You don't have to do it. Feel free to do whatever else needs to be done while your oh so adorable and oh so skillful husband whips up a delicious dinner in the comfort of your own kitchen. I lucked out. My husband is a fantastic cook and doesn't mind (or at least doesn't complain) cooking in the evening.

2. Use the crockpot. It doesn't seem quick since it takes all day, but you can throw everything in in the morning and come home to an already cooked meal--no prep time necessary. This is great for me because it also eliminates my cravings for eating out. If I know dinner is ready at home, I'm less likely to suggest going out.

3. Hit the local farmers' market. I realize this won't work for everyone in every climate (at least not year round), but we've found that having fresh (and gorgeous) produce available helps make for a quick meal. I'm far more likely to be willing to cook (see #1) when we have fresh produce on hand.

4. Tilapia Tilapia Tilapia. I LOVE tilapia and it's pretty quick and easy to prepare. Keep some on hand. You can buy a good-size frozen bag (we get 4 lbs) at a decent price. Then, just sautee some onions and throw some tilapia in the pan. It's quick and easy.

5. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. That's our go-to staple when we're in a hurry and have no idea what to make. Scrambled eggs are super quick and can be altered depending on what you add.

6. Anywhere other than here. When in doubt, go out. I like to go out even when not in doubt. :-) Go somewhere else and let THEM cook for you. Then it doesn't matter how long it takes because, once again, you don't have to cook it.

Mommy Moment Winner

2009-10-03T21:37:00.003-05:00

I signed back on after Shabbat to find great news.

Woo hoo. I won. I won.

Future Mama over at Baby Makin Machine has a "Mommy Moment" contest each month (although not this month because she has quite a bit going on with her MOD fundraiser. Go help save babies.).

I entered my post "Restoring my Faith in Humanity" for September and I WON. Yay. Yay. Yay.

This month, the prize was a a diaper bag and matching changing blanket from Couturière. The timing on this couldn't be better. You remember my husband's cousin who is now due ANY DAY? The one who lost her job and was evicted? She bought a diaper bag from someone on Craig's List, but it fell apart before she even got a chance to use it. Things have gotten worse for her and she absolutely cannot afford a diaper bag even though her little boy could arrive at any moment. So I'm going to pass this along to her.

A huge thank you to Future Mama at Baby Makin' Machine and to Kayce from Kayce's Doula Journey who was this month's judge. When I saw, "Doula" in the title, I knew her blog would be right up this birth advocate's alley and I was right. I just added myself to her list of followers.

Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. What a fabulous way to begin the week!

Parenting Dilema: What Would You Do?

2009-10-03T21:04:00.007-05:00

My twins have a shared e-mail address. They really only use it for a select few friends and family members. We monitor it.

Girl2 recently sent an e-mail to her grandparents (dh's parents) asking when she could see them again (they live far away). Their grandma responded that maybe they could fly out for Chanukah and ended with, "Ask your daddy if that's okay, but don't tell anyone else."

Does anyone else have a problem with this?

I have a pretty good relationship with my in-laws. We're not best buds, but we get along pretty well. I'm not the type who would pitch a fit and insist they couldn't come.

Dh thinks his mother probably meant not to tell MY parents. You see, my parents have this awful habit of insisting on being here every time my in-laws are. My mother must do everything bigger and better than everyone else.

Here's just one example that explains it perfectly. When my mother saw the check I was giving my husband's brother when he got married, she insisted on writing a larger one from her and my father. Mind you, my BIL is no relation to her at all, was in a very comfortable financial situation and that check was TRIPLE what she gave HER ELDEST DAUGHTER when she got married (and my sister was not nearly as comfortable financially when she got married. My mother's financial situation, was the same through both of those weddings). So my in-laws VERY rarely get time here without my parents coming along as well. Dh thinks that's probably what his mother had in mind.

I completely agree on that stance and would love for my in-laws to have some one-on-one time with the kids without the other set of grandparents interfering.

You remember, my FIL has been battling cancer. I want him to have as much time as possible with his grandchildren without interruption. He has NEVER seen his grandchildren without my parents also being here. So I would absolutely agree to an exclusive visit from my in-laws.

Even if that was her intention, I have a big issue with any adult asking a child to keep something secret from an adult. My MIL specifically told my daughter to ask her father--not her, "Parents." Which would imply that she wasn't to tell me. That bothers me not just because she might want to keep it from me, but because I don't think it's appropriate for a child to be told to keep something from a parent. It sets a frightening standard.

I've always told my kids that if an adult asks them to keep something from their parents, the adult is doing something wrong.

I'm interested in what the internetz think. Do you think my reaction is inappropriate? Do you see my point? Should something be said to my MIL?

One reason to move to Israel

2009-10-03T19:40:00.003-05:00

In Israel (at least in the religious neighborhoods), I doubt you'd have a construction crew right outside your bedroom window insanely early on Shabbat morning TEARING UP THE FREAKING CURB.

This, of course, is AFTER I was up all night with a vomiting little boy (not sick, but something he ate at oneg after services upset his stomach) and was so looking forward to sleeping in.

Food, Glorious Food

2009-09-21T09:32:00.004-05:00

Twitter Moms, along with Horizon Little Blends have asked how we parents sneak fruits and veggies into their kids' diets.

I don't.

I was raised hating fruits and veggies. If it was healthy, I wanted to run far and fast. The closest my snacks came to healthy was the name "Fruit" followed by "Roll-ups." In my adulthood, I realized I actually like a wide variety of fruits and veggies that were either never offered, or never cooked in a way I liked (i.e. broccoli was always cooked until it was mush and slathered in butter).

So with our kids, we have always made a point of offering a wide variety of fruits and veggies prepared in a number of different ways. We keep apples, bananas, nuts (plain or lightly salted), whole grain cereal, sliced peppers, carrots, raisins, plums, peaches and grapes in the kids' reach. And you know what? They actually eat them--happily. We never started them on the sweet sugary snack thing, so they don't miss them. We don't have to argue with them.

After a brief interview, here are my kids' favorite foods:

Girl1: Sushi
Girl2: Apples
TheBoy: Bananas

My biggest tip on food is simply--don't start down the slippery slope of mount sugar. You never have to break the habit if you never start it.

Through the Twitter Mom contest, I found another great link on Getting Kids to Eat Healthy & I must share. She has some fantastic points. Have I mentioned that my children (particularly Girl1) like jalapenos? Hey, you never know unless you try.

Bending Toward the Sun

2009-09-16T23:22:00.010-05:00

I recently received a copy of Bending Toward the Sun which is written by Leslie Gilbert-Lurie with her mother Rita Lurie. The book is a memoir that shows how true events of the Holocaust altered the lives not only of those who survived, but their children and even grandchildren.

From the official site,
"Rita Lurie was five years old when she was forced to flee her home in Poland to hide from the Nazis. From the summer of 1942 to mid-1944, she and fourteen members of her family shared a nearly silent existence in a cramped, dark attic, subsisting on scraps of raw food. Young Rita watched helplessly as first her younger brother then her mother died before her eyes. Motherless and stateless, Rita and her surviving family spent the next five years wandering throughout Europe, waiting for a country to accept them. The tragedy of the Holocaust was only the beginning of Rita's story."

My husband is the grandson of German Jews who made it safety to American shores from Nazi Germany, so this book particularly resonated with me. Even though my entire family was safely in the U.S. by the time the War began, I am a daughter and I have daughters, so it spoke to me on that level as well.

This book is utterly fascinating. It's unlike any other book on the Shoa I have ever read. The jacket describes it quite well,
"A decade-long collaboration between mother and daughter, Bending Toward the Sun reveals how deeply the Holocaust remains in the hearts and minds of survivors, influencing even the lives of their descendants. It also sheds light on the generational reach of any trauma, beyond the initial victim."

I was astounded to find that this book begins where most books on the topic end. We find the Gamss family leaving their hiding place on page 53, the beginning of only the fifth chapter. The rest of the book focuses first on Ruchel/Rita Lurie's story in her own voice and then her daughter Leslie takes over. There's even a portion written (fascinatingly well) by Leslie's 12-year-old daughter Mikeala (I laughed out loud when she referred to Adolf Hitler as a "Power-hungry man with unfortunate facial hair"). I think this was a fantastic way to work this complex story. We get to really see the complexity of the trauma as it weaves its way through the different generations.

This was one of those books that I picked up and didn't want to put down. I was up until midnight last night because I found myself so hungry for more of the story. What happened next? I had to know. Even when I forced myself to put it down, I couldn't sleep because I kept wondering what more I would learn about Ruchel as she traveled around Europe and then headed to America where she began her transformation to Rita.

I picked it up again today and didn't put it down again until I had read it cover-to-cover. I became completely absorbed with the entire family in the beginning and never lost that interest or concern for them. The account left me wondering what would become of each aunt, uncle and cousin and the book answered my questions (in addition the official website has a fledgling "Where Are They Now" section which appears as though it will feature profiles of family members when it's completed). It was fascinating to first read Rita Lurie's account of growing up with her family and then to see those same family members and even their children through Leslie Gilbert-Lurie's account.

Leslie opens the book with an account which illustrates that her daughter, Mikeala, like her mother before her, has inherited that overwhelming intense fear of abandoment which is understandable, but debilitating at the same time.

I was struck not only by the fear which the Gamss family endured, but also by the normalcy they later created. Rita Lurie married at an early age and, by all accounts, she and her husband are still together and happy 50 years later. Her sister, Sara/Sandra was married 43 years before she lost her husband to Cancer. One of the great uncles Leslie interviewed was still married to the woman he married in Italy just after the war. They were able to find love. They were able to bring children into a world even though they had witnessed the absolute worst. They were cautious. They were weary. They were worn down, yet they were all survivors.

I just visited the website for this review and I'm impressed by all they have available there which compliments the book. I'm thrilled to find a resource section which includes a link for teachers. The additional family photos are fascinating. You can watch videos of Leslie discussing the book as well.

Rabbi Irving Greenberg calls this memoir, "heartbreaking, yet inspiring." I agree completely.

Yet another fortune cookie of abstinence (aka: The Chinese Place Hates Me)

2009-09-12T21:29:00.007-05:00

In addition to exclusively breastfeeding, we are now using condoms AND I'm temping in the morning in an effort to prevent pregnancy. Why are we going through all this trouble when getting pregnant has never been easy for us? Because a fortune cookie scared my husband. It could have been warning of a lottery-ticket-bearing Oompa Loompa*, but no, my husband feared it referred to a baby.

If you recall, there was a night last month (which turned into a whole freaking week because it terrified my husband so) where I didn't get any because of a stupid fortune cookie. At the time, I grumbled a little bit, but mostly laughed. Ha ha. That's funny how that can be interpreted to fit our current situation. By the end of that week, though, I wasn't laughing quite as loudly. It's just a freaking cookie. Get the hell over here!

A few days ago, we went to the same Chinese place and once again, we got fortunes. Girl1 and I both eyed the same fortune cookie, but she got it first. When she read the fortune out loud, my husband said, "Oh no. That one was meant for you."

Oh hell! So now, I'm beginning to seriously wonder if that restaurant has it out for me. Dude, WTF? And no, my husband has not touched me since that fortune.

Then, this morning, we opened the front door to find a box. It's yet another great big box o'WTF from my mom (see #9). It's a package, for my daughter--the one who actually opened that fortune cookie. Never in my life have I been so thrilled to get a random box of insane stuff that we neither want nor need. I don't know if that package will prove lucky for my daughter, but hopefully, it will for me. A big box of useless unnecessary stuff has fulfilled the pastry prophecy therefore leaving us free to enjoy some indoor sports. Game on!

*I'm borrowing the lottery-ticket-holding Oompa Loompa from someone on twitter, but I can't remember who said it. If you know, please post her name in the comments.

In Memory

2009-09-11T10:13:00.003-05:00

8 years ago. May life continue to unfold and inspire for us all, but may we never forget the significance and the loss of September 11th.

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-- Robert Frost

Photo Meme

2009-09-08T22:01:00.004-05:00

I saw myself tagged over at Collecting Hats (thanks. This is pretty cool), so here I go.

The rules are:

1. Open the 4th file where you store your photos
2. Pick the 4th picture
3. Explain the photo
4. Pass the challenge on to 4 other bloggers

This one was a bit rough for me since I don't post pictures of my kids' faces. Luckily, the rules worked out. My 4th photo folder is the "Family Tree" one. That's a good deal because that folder is most likely to contain faces of those long gone (and therefore, unable to identify themselves on my blog and raise a ruckus). As luck would have it, the 4th photo doesn't even include any faces.

That is the ship that made our very existence possible. That is the ship that rescued Bubbe and her family from Nazi Germany. She was 14 at the time. The ship was later destroyed during the War.

Now let's see what everyone else has to share. I love photos and I love randomness. So I'm very curious to see what everyone else posts.

I'm tagging Gina at the Feminist Breeder, Phyllis from Ima on and Off The Bima, Giselle at Giselle's Total Waste of Bandwidth, and Whozat over at Lucy & Ethel Have A Baby.

Husbands say the darnest thingsregarding our childhood animated heroes

2009-09-08T21:52:00.006-05:00

My husband complained about our collection of kid videos (yes, VHS tapes. The DVD player is being fickle). He made some comment about the choices being terrible. To which, I replied, "Jem is NOT terrible." He then said, "I don't like her, even if she is truly outrageous."

It's the Shehecheyanu-a-palooza at chez Reiza

2009-08-30T19:34:00.003-05:00

TheBaby is our last baby. Her birth was so amazing that I would gladly do that again another 10 times, but we've agreed that four children is the perfect number for us. We had a difficult time getting pregnant every time and after my second pregnancy, we didn't even know if we'd be able to have another baby. The fact that we did and we carried TheBaby to term is a miracle. Yes, we found out after-the-fact that we lost two others during that pregnancy, but our daughter survived and she is wonderful. She has completed our family.

Yesterday, as I sat with her at my breast, I looked at her gorgeous chubby cheeks that puffed up and down while she nursed, her sweet long lashes on her delicate eyelids that were closed as she nursed to sleep, her chubby arms clutching my shirt and I felt the weight of her ever-growing strong and squishy body. I whispered the Shehecheyanu while she nursed.

I cannot be more thankful to G-d for allowing us to reach this season--this wonderful season that finds our home filled with happiness and healthiness.

My dear sweet son

2009-08-27T20:32:00.005-05:00

Today, the kids played hospital with some friends. The bigger kids took off when it was TheBoy's turn to play surgeon. So, I opted to be his patient. I told him I thought my leg was broken. Without even looking at it, he declared that was not the case. So I asked him what I should do. He replied,

"Get in your car and drive home. It's not broken."

Oh how I love that kid.